2.02 -  Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)

(After seeing Derek and Burke argue)
Cristina (To Meredith): Mine's bigger than yours.
Alex: Whip it out, I'll measure.
Cristina: Shut up, Alex.

(Meredith is lying on the bathroom floor and Cristina is lying in the bathtub)
Meredith: It's not us, it's them, them and their stupid boy...penises! They didn't tell me they had a wife, they gave me absolutely no warning that they were gonna break up with you.
Cristina: It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it's business, like it's a business transacti--like he's the boss of me.
Meredith: He is the boss of you.

Meredith: Penises.(Izzie and George walk in the bathroom) Penises, Izzie.
Cristina: Estrogen, George.
(She holds out a cup and Izzie puts water in it)
George(To Izzie): Okay. What'd I miss?
Izzie: I came home to full out vomit drama. Apparently, she dumped Derek. And her, she's been sleeping with Burke.
George: I knew that. (turns to Meredith) So, you really broke up with Shepherd?
Meredith: I feel empty.
Izzie: Yeah, two hours of vomiting will do that to ya.
Meredith: No, I feel empty.
Cristina: You're lucky, I feel pissed off.

Richard (To George): Call three times a day.
Adelle: Do not call three times a day.
Richard: And if my wife doesn't put you through--
Adelle: I won't put you through.
Richard: Keep calling until she does.
George: Yes, sir.

(Looking at the xray of the guy who swallowed ten Judy doll heads)
Burke: Drugs?
Meredith: Ten Judy dolls heads.
Burke: Seriously?
Meredith: Yes.
Patricia: I can see their little faces "Help, let me out."

Adelle: Derek, don't you know that this hospital will crumble unless Richard is here holding up the walls.
Richard: Adelle. You're supposed to be in the Virgin Islands.
Adelle: Oh, you are in five-kinds of trouble, Mr. Man.(Kisses his cheek) You had brain surgery and didn't tell me.
Richard: Well, it's just a small pro--procedure.
Adelle: It was brain surgery.
Richard: Well, I didn't wanna ruin your vacation.
Adelle: You don't know what a vacation is, how would you know how to ruin it?
Richard: Well, anyway, how did you find---(turns to Derek) You called my wife?
Derek: You called mine.

(Addison shows up in the doorway)
Addison: I thought I saw a fablous looking woman walk by.
Adelle(walks over and hugs her): Addison, hey. (Derek gives Webber a look) I told Richard I knew you and Derek would get back together.
Addison: Uh...actually, I'm here on a case--
Derek: Addison, and I are over Adelle.
Addison: It's not like we're divorced.
Derek: Practically divorced.
Adelle (to Addison): You've had counselling?
Derek: We've had adultery, that was enough.
 
Cristina: When we're feeling emotional sometimes it's hard to keep a level head and consider all the facts.

Mrs. Webber: Being Chief is a lot like being an intern; the work never stops.

Addison: Dr. Grey, can I speak with you for a moment?
(Meredith looks at Bailey)
Bailey: Don't look at me for help.
(Addison and Meredith walk away)
Addison: I assume he told you why he left me.
Meredith(Sighs): Dr. Shepherd, with all due respect, this has nothing to do with me.
Addison: Really? So you didn't take him back? Good girl.
Meredith: And in the future, I'd appreciate it if we'd keep our relationship strictly professional.
Addison: Meredith, sometimes people do desperate things to get someone's attention. There are two sides to every story.

Cristina: Love has its limits.

Derek: Just when the day was improving.
Addison: You told Meredith what happened.
Derek: I did. What'd you tell her?
Addison: Sometimes people do desperate things to attract attention.
Derek: Wow, that's your side of this? That I didn't pay you enough attention? Is that what you were thinking when you got naked with my best friend?
Addison: Well, at that point, I wasn't thinking at all, Derek, I was just scratching an itch. We got succesful, you and me. We got busy and we got lazy. We didn't even bother to fight anymore, Derek, and Mark was there and I missed you and now I'm sorry. I'm more sorry than you could possibly imagine, but at least I'm talking to you about it.
Derek: I'm a sink with an open drain, Addy.

Meredith: I am a sink with an open drain. Anything you say runs straight out.
George: She probably could have picked a better metaphor.
Izzie: Give her a break, she's got a hangover.

2.03 -  Make Me Lose Control

Addison: I'm letting go of the pre-me, you know that. He calls me Satan, Richard.
Webber: You don't like to hide from a fight.
Addison: It's not a fight, he wins. I'm leaving in the morning.

Bailey: You have a problem?
Izzie: No.
Bailey: You have a mocha-latte?
Izzie: No.
Bailey: Then go away.

Bailey: Izzie, the Dr. Shepherds need an intern up in NICU.
Izzie: Wait, both of them? Together? And me by myself...w-with the two married people, who hate each other?
Bailey: Go.

Derek: Nice hat.
Richard: Shut up.
Derek: What are you doin' here?
Richard: I'm going back to work.
Derek: You're not cleared for surgery.
Richard: Leave me alone, Derek. I've been sitting home for a week watching Oprah give away things on T.V. Oprah, Derek! You clear me now or I'll hurt you.
Derek: If you want me to clear you, you should have thought about that before you gave chief to Burke. And before you invited Satan to Seattle.
Richard: Satan?
(Addison gets in the evelvator)
Addison: Good morning. Richard, I like the hat.
Derek (addressing Dr. Webber): Satan speaks.
Addison: Actually, I prefer to be called Ruler of All That Is Evil.(Richard laughs) But I will answer to Satan.
 

Meredith: It's not okay. You have a wife who's not easy to hate, who's annoyingly kind and painfully smart, and currently saving my friend's life.

Izzie: It's just you think, you think you know someone, know who they are. You share a house and make wishes on eyelashes with them and we don't know each other, none of us. We're just a bunch of interns who work together. There's nothing there.

(After examining a baby)
Derek: She's just gonna live a short painful life.
Addison: You don't know that.
Derek: It's my job to know that.
Addison: You're not god, Derek.
Derek: Excuse me.
Addison: I'm sorry, honey, but you're not. You don't get to decide who lives--
Derek: Wait, did you just call me "honey"? Don't call me "honey".
Addison: Fine. You're not god, Dr. Shepherd. Look, if the patient has any chance to live, which I think she does, then you have a responsiblity---
Derek: Don't talk to me about responsibilty.
Addison: You took an oath, Derek.
Derek: An oh, don't you dare talk to me about oaths.
Addison: Derek, I messed up. People mess up,
Derek: You slept with my best friend on my favorite sheets.
Addison: The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets.
Derek: I love the sheets. I did.
Addison: You like the italian sheets with the little paslies--
Derek: Will you just stop talking about the sheets?
Addison: Fine!
Izzie: I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go check on the labs. (walks away)

 Derek: She's too far gone, you have to let her go, let her go in peace. (walks away)
Addison: Derek, please, she needs somebody to fight for her.
(He leaves.)
Addison: Fine Derek, walk away - it's what you do best.

Ellis: What the hell are you doing here! Haven't I told you, how many times have I told you not to bother me when I'm at work!

Addison: You know, the way I see it, we could deal with us, in one of three ways. Option one, I could apologize, you could forgive me, come home and we can move on with our lives like adults. Or option two, I could apologize, you could forgive me, come home, but you could still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue.
Derek: Are you trying to be funny?
Addison: Satan has a sense of humor.
Derek: What's the third?
Addison: I don't know what the third option is. (kisses him) I just know I still love you.

Alex: You could talk, you know if you need to.
Meredith: I'm fine.
Alex: You've said that word so many times today, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. I'm just saying you can talk to me cause, you know, even if I repeat every word you say no one around here likes me - they'd just call me a liar and move on.
Meredith: Izzie likes you. (smiles) You're blushing.
Alex: Shut up.

Meredith: How's Cristina?
Izzie(sighs): She's gonna have a lotta pain for a few days, but she's gonna be ok.
Meredith: I'm glad you were there.
Izzie: Are you?
Meredith: Yes, I am.
Izzie: It's just---it's just that alot of the time, I feel like you and Cristina are kinda over there and I'm here.
Meredith: So, about Alex--
Izzie: I know, I know, you guys hate him, fine.
(George groans)
Meredith: Yeah, we do but I just wanna say that I believe you - that he's different when you get to know him.

(Cristina and Meredith are jogging in the park.)
Cristina: (breathing heavily) Oh, you're stupid. Oh, god, you're stupid evil sadist, and I wanna kill you.
Meredith: Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators. This is supposed to make us feel better.
Cristina: Do you feel better?
(Cristina stops running and Meredith runs circles around her.)
Cristina: Slutty mistress.
Meredith Pregnant whore.
Cristina: Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea!
(Meredith stops running now.)
Meredith: You know what's ruined for me?
Cristina: Huh?
Meredith: Ferry boats. I used to love ferry boats. Derek's got a thing for ferry boats, and now every time I see a freakin' ferry boat--
Cristina: You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery and aortic aneurysms. God, I used to love aortic aneurysms.
 
Meredith: What kind of person wishes her mother has cancer.

Alex: Wait.
Izzie: What?
Alex: You have an eyelash. (places eyelash on palm) Make a wish and blow it away. speaking to other nurse Hey, nurse rachet, there's a dead guy stinking up room 4125. Do something before he rots.
Izzie (walking away): See, that is exactly what I'm talking about. Why are you so afraid of showing people you are a decent human being?
George (walking up): Remember when he wallpapered the hospital with pictures of you in your underwear?
Izzie: Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Alex: It was before I knew you.

Cristina: Meredith... leave the sarcasm up to me.. really.. it doesn't suit you.

Meredith: If there's an upside to freefalling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.

Izzie: How can someone be so offensive and yet so charming all at the same time?
Alex: It's an art form.

Meredith (to Derek): And you? Hating you is the most exhausting. (kisses him) I don't want to do it anymore.

George: (Acting as Thatcher) I don't like the way you speak to me and I really hate the way you speak to Meredith; she deserves better from you.
Ellis: I . . . I'm sorry.
George: You are?

Meredith: (to Derek) Stop talking to me like you're my boyfriend. Stop talking to me at all! (storms out)
Alex: Dude, that was rough.

George: Cristina's pregnant?
Izzie: Shut up, George.
George: This is a very bad day.

George: I look like Meredith's dad?
Webber: Just take good care of her. (walks away)
George: But . . . dad? I need help.

Burke: (to Webber) I'm glad that you're back. I'm just hiding my joy. Deep down inside.

Bailey: Take care of Doctor Grey.
George: Yes. Thank you. (hugs Bailey) She needs a friend right now. (Bailey kicks him out) Oh... her mother.

Cristina: Can I have the hateful married couple instead?

Izzie: Why do you do that?
Alex: Do what?
Izzie: Act like an ass whenever I'm around. I hate you enough as it is.

Cristina (watching Izzie with Alex): What is she doing?
George: She's hanging out with Alex.
Cristina: (pause) Why?

Meredith: Surgeons are control freaks.

2.04 -  Deny, Deny, Deny

Addison: Look, I don't want someone, who doesn't want me, Meredith, but if there is the slightest chance that he does...I'm not leaving Seattle.

Derek: You accepted a consult from Addison Shepherd?
Bailey: Montgomery Shepherd, isn't it?
Derek: The point is she should be on her way home, your trying to drive me crazy aren't you?(Bailey stops the elevator)
Derek (in a whiny voice): Hey, now don't do this...ugh...
Bailey: You think this has something to do with you? You think I'm even thinking about you and your romantic problems? I'm thinking about a patient, very near and dear to my heart. And a consult with your wife, your ex, mistress whatever it is that she becomes if that's what I have to do to save my patient then I'm damn well gonna do it.
Derek: I understand that. I deserved that. It's just that--come on--
Bailey: Look, you have put yourself between two very fine women and you're lookin' for an easy way out. And you wanna use me, the hospital, somebody to make the decision for ya and it's not gonna happen!(She starts the elevator)
Derek: Could I--Could--I just say a couple things?
Bailey: Just just---(waves hand by his face)

George: I don't know why I'm worried, Cristina says she's fine.
Izzie: Nobody goes through what she went through and is totally over it by now.
George: Cristina can.
Meredith: She's funny.
Izzie: Too funny, she's cold.
George: No, she's hardcore, got ice in her veins, she does what she has to, to get through.

Helen (Cristina’s Mother): The daughter I raised would appreciate her mother’s help.
Cristina: The daughter you raised is begging for you to go. Now!

Alex: Nice panties Yang.
Cristina: In your dreams, evil spawn!

Derek: Meredith kissed me, Addison kissed me. My wife and my girlfriend kissed me, on the same day.
Bailey: Joe, do I look friendly to you?
Joe: Oh, you're a tiny little kitten of joy and love. (She gives him a look) What? You saved my life.
Bailey: First mistake. McDreamy, go sit by someone who cares.
Derek: Everything's gonna be fine. Addison'll go back to New York, me and Meredith will start over. Everything's gonna be fine, right?
Bailey: You so damn stupid.

Meredith: (Voiceover) Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean.

Addison: Well, isn't this cozy. Can I join in or are you not in to threesomes?
Meredith: I have to go.
(Meredith walks away.)
Derek: Meredith... (to Addison) You really are Satan, you realize that, right? If Satan were to take physical form, he'd be you, everywhere all the time.
Addison: I am so not Satan.
Derek: How come you haven't gotten on your broomstick and gone back to New York where you belong?
Addison: Stop being petty.
Derek: Stop being an adulterous bitch.
Addison: You know, you are gonna forgive me, right? I mean you can't just-- I mean there was a time where you thought of me as your best friend.
Derek: There was a time where I thought of you as the love of my life. Things change. (Addison pulls out papers.) Divorce papers.
Addison: Your lawyer said that they were okay. I haven't signed them. The ball's in your court. If you sign 'em, I'll sign. Sign and be on the first plane outta here.
Derek: I'l sign 'em immediately. I want you outta here as soon as possible.
Addison: Derek, have you ever thought that even if I am an adulterous bitch and Satan, that I still might be the love of your life?

Cristina: I will kill her!
Helen: But I am her mother.
Meredith: We don't do well with mothers here. Why don't you leave and come back later.

George: You're officially AWOL you know.
Cristina: I'm working. I'm trying to figure out what's going on with the crazy woman on four.
George: You are the crazy woman on four.
Cristina: I made a break for freedom.

Male Nurse: Ok Yang, how about this order: bed rest, out of bed to chair, bathroom privileges. Nothing about stealing charts at the nurses station.
Cristina: Ok, you know what (signals to man pushing a wheelchair) Hey, hey, hey, hey give me that. (Sits down) There, satisfied? I'm out of bed to chair.
Male Nurse: I'm telling your intern on you.
Cristina: Meredith?
Male Nurse: Yeah.
Cristina: (Mockingly) Oh, I'm so scared.

Cristina: (crying uncontrollably) Make it stop, Make it stop. Somebody sedate me!

2.05 - Bring The Pain

Cristina: So here's where we are: I work too much, I'm competitive, I'm always right, and I snore.
Burke: What?
Cristina: I'm trying here.

Bailey: How's your patient? The one that got her soul back?
Derek: She's gonna be fine.
(A guy taps on the window)
Bailey: I gotta go.
Derek: Look at you, you look like a girl. Is that your date?
Bailey: It's my husband.
Derek: You're married?
Bailey: Ten years today.
Derek: How come I didn't know you were married?
Bailey: You never asked.

Derek: You paged me?
Bailey: Porn as pain management?!
Derek (smiles): You met, Henry. Yeah, there are a lot of different theories as how to treat pain.
Bailey: Porn as pain management?!
Derek: Look, it's possible that pornography like art and music can stimulate the brain that produce endorphins that minimize pain
Bailey: Porn as pain management?
Derek: I didn't prescribe it. It wasn't me. Take it up with the treating physician.
Bailey: If that man turns out to be some sort of sex weirdo it's on you that's all I'm saying.

(After they got the elevators doors open a little)
Bailey: What did you two do?
Alex & George: Nothing!

Addison: Lightning hit a substation, we're working on back up generators, one of them is down. Richard...breathe.
Richard: The only means of transporting patients from the E.R. to the O.R. isn't working. Don't tell me to breathe, I'll breathe if I wanna breathe.

(Talking about their relationship)
Burke: So where are we?
Cristina: The northeast corner of a hospital.

Cristina: Don't tell anyone I did this for you. You tell anyone I did this for you, I will sell your body parts for cash!
(Henry Lamont nods)
Cristina: OK. So. There were these women. Nurses. Three nurses. And they were...naughty. They were really really naughty. They were three naughty nurses. Saucy, even. Saucy and bad and naughty. Three saucy bad naughty nurses. They were taking a shower. Together. Soaping each other up. And then this doctor walks in and he sees these three naughty bad nurses with these great big...

(scene cut)

Cristina: "Oh yes, I'm so very very naughty!" Bianca said as she dropped her stethoscope. "Me too!" said Crystal as she snapped on her surgical glove, and then there was Marta.
(Bailey walks past room and stares, Cristina shrugs.)
Cristina: Where was I?
Henry: Marta.
Cristina: Oh yes, Marta. She was the naughtiest nurse of all because she knew how...
(Power returns, TV comes on)

George: We're not in Kansas anymore.

George: (Reading the emergency sign on the elevator out loud after it got stuck) If elevator should stop do not become alarmed. Press the button marked alarm to summon assistance. (Looks at Alex) If they don’t want us to be alarmed why do they call the button “alarm”?

( Meredith, Cristina and Izzie are leaning over the balcony at the hospital)
Meredith: You should take something.
Cristina: Drugs are for babies.
Izzie: I hate Alex.
Cristina: And the non sequitur award goes to…
Izzie: I’m sorry, but I hate Alex.
Meredith: I broke up with Derek.
Cristina: Burke wants to have a relationship.
Izzie: Boys are stupid.
Cristina: Yep.

Alex: So, dude. What’s the deal with Izzie?
George: She shaved her legs for you.
Alex: And?
George: And you didn’t kiss her goodnight.
Patient: She shaved her legs for you and you didn’t follow through?
Alex: Hey I followed through, I always follow through.
George: You didn’t last night.
Alex: Mind your own business.
George: Mind… She had expectations, women have expectations and you didn’t meet them. Hey I live with these women and every time you guys don’t meet their expectations I have to hear about it. So it is my business.
(Alex, George and the patient are in the elevator when it stops)
Alex: Dude, we’re not moving.
George: Really, ya think?

(Derek speaking to Meredith)
Derek: Look I was married for 11 years. Addison is my family. That is 11 Thanksgiving’s, birthdays, and 11 Christmas’s and in one day I am supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family? A person doesn’t do that, not without a little hesitation. I’m entitled to a little uncertainty here. Just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment of painful doubt and a little understanding from you would be nice.

(Cristina is presenting a patient and he turns on porn)
Cristina: Is that--
Marie: Porn.
Bailey: Porn? (Looks at TV) As in porn!
Alex: What are you watching?
Bailey: Karav, go stand in the hall. Uh..Mr. and Mrs. Lamont, I'm sure you're really... nice people and what you do in the privacy of your own home... look, we can't have porn in here. This is a hospital.
Henry: It's for my pain. My doc says it releases endorphins in the brain and it helps keep my pain at a managable level.
George (stunned, and not taking his eyes off the TV): Really?
Bailey: George, hall.
Izzie: What is this?
Marie: Um... "Nasty Naughty Nurses..." (looks at TV) "...4".
(Meredith, Izzie and Cristina all turn their heads to view the porn better)
Cristina: That does not look comfortable.
Meredith: Trust me, it’s not.
(Cristina and Izzie look at Meredith)
Bailey (snaps fingers): Get in the hall.

(Izzie opens George's bedroom door and turns on the light and wakes him up)
Izzie: Seriously! Move over.(She gets into the bed)
George: Ugh, I'm sleeping.
Izzie: Oh, shut it.
George: Shut--(turns over and goes to sleep)
(Scene cut, then Meredith comes into his room)
Meredith: Seriously!
George: This is a very small bed.
Meredith: He is a brain surgeon.
Izzie: I look fantastic. I shaved my legs.
Meredith: He’s a brain surgeon. How can he be so brainless?
Izzie: Seriously.
Meredith: Seriously.
George: Shhhh. (pats them both on the shoulder)Go to sleep.

Meredith: You didn’t sign the divorce papers. Fine, I get it. End of discussion.
Derek: Meredith.
Meredith: What!
Derek: Oh… I usually just say “Meredith” and then you yell at me. I haven’t thought past that point. I actually didn’t have anything planned. (Meredith starts hitting him with her purse) Ow, what is that? Stop it.
Meredith: Seriously? Seriously!

Izzie: I had a good time, thank you. It was the perfect evening, best date ever, ever.
Alex: Izzie…
Izzie: I especially liked the part where you treated me like crap the entire evening, That was fun.
Alex: I had a good time.
Izzie: Really?
Alex: Yeah.
(She moves into kiss him but he backs away)
Alex: I gotta go.
Izzie: Seriously! Seriously!

Izzie: Poor George, he doesn't have the steadiest hands.
Bailey : Izzie, he can hear you.

(Meredith is at Emerald City Bar waiting for Derek)
Meredith: He's not coming.(Looks at Izzie) You don't think he's coming.
Izzie: He might come.
Cristina: Yeah, you never know.
George: He's definately coming!(Izzie and Cristina kick him) Ow. What? Do you want her doing tequila shots all night? I'll be the one cleaning up the vomit.(Looks at Cristina) Besides, I touched a heart today, Porny.

Meredith: Okay... here it is. Your choice, it's simple her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But, Derek, I love you... in a really, really big... pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I'll be at Joe's tonight, so if you do decide to sign the papers... meet me there.

2.06 -  Into You Like A Train

(About Addison)
Meredith: So she yelled at you?
Alex: Fine. She's Satan's whore.

Derek: She asked me to tell you...She wanted you to know, that if love were enough...that if love were enough, that she'd still be here with you.

(Derek walks in and nods towards Meredith)
George: Does that mean he picked her?
Cristina: If it does I just lost 50 bucks.

Addison: Have you made a decision yet Dr. Stevens?
Izzie: I'm sorry?
Addison: Whether or not you hate me. You're Meredith's friend and I'm the wicked witch that came in and ruined her life and cheat on Dr. Mc--- Wait. What is it that you guys call him?
Izzie: McDreamy.
Addison: Right. God, doesn't that embarass him?
Izzie: Yeah. I think it does.
Addison: Yeah, by all rights you should hate me.
Izzie: Yes.
Addison: Except I'm going to be staying in town for awhile.
Izzie: You are?
Addison: Yes. And you show a real gift with my specialty. And I have a lot to teach, if you wanna learn. So...
Izzie: So...?
Addison: So...when you decide how important it is for you to hate me, let me know.

Derek: Dr. Grey.
Bailey: Dr. Grey needs to get herself a blood alcohol test before practicing any medicine tonight.
Meredith: What? No, I'm totally fine. Look, (Touches her finger to her nose, a few times) Totally fine.
(Bailey gives Derek a look)
Derek: Right, okay.(He walks away)
Meredith: I'm fine!
Bailey: Regretting that last shot about now aren't you?

Derek(Seeing Meredith with the banana bag): What happened?
Meredith: Tequila.

(Meredith is still drunk)
Meredith: Ow. Ow. Ow.
(Izzie pulls back the curtainn)
Izzie: What are you doing?
Meredith: Trying to insert my banana bag which sounds vaguely dirty, but it isn't.

Bailey: Alex, cover the ER. You can do sutures while you get over your new found fear of scalpels.
Meredith: That was mean. Even for you.
Bailey: You are drunk. Go find yourself a banana bag IV, put it in your arm and then find me. Do not speak to anymore patients, do not practice any medicine.
Meredith: Well should I just go home?
Bailey: Well, unless you drank the whole liquor bottle, you'll be sober in a few hours. And the IV fluids will head off your hangover. Then you can assist with the may mangled victims you see before you. And besides, if I'm not going home, nobody's going home. 10 years of marriage and I didn't even get to finish my damn lobster.

(Cristina, Izzie and George are at a table playing darts, and Meredith is at the bar drinking)
Cristina: You tell someone to meet you at a bar later tonight, how long does that mean you're supposed to wait?
George: Do you really think he's not coming?
Izzie: It is getting a little hard to watch.
Cristina: It was getting hard to watch an hour ago, now it's just pathetic.
Meredith: Who's pathetic?
Cristina: What?
Meredith: You who pretend to be my friends, are calling me pathetic. Behind my back. In front of my face! (George points to Cristina) Why don't you just dump the pigs blood on me now and get it over with?

Cristina: You're my boyfriend! I mean, I know I don't have much experience with this kind of thing but, aren't boyfriends supposed to help in situations like this?
Burke: Cristina, when we're on duty I can't be your boyfriend.
Cristina: Ok, so when we're on duty, I can have sex with someone else?
Burke: Dr. Yang, I'm walking away now.

Meredith: You operated on a heart earlier, George. You'd think you could draw a little blood.
George: I rocked that heart.
Meredith: Yeah, you did!
George: I think I'm strung out on the scalpel.

Meredith: So basically whoever you move doesn't stand a chance.
(Bailey, McDreamy, Burke and George fall silent.)
Meredith: So how do you choose? How do you decide who gets to live?

(Derek gives Meredith a nod)
George: Was that a nod?
Meredith: Yes.
George: Do we know what it meant?
Meredith: No.

Meredith: I hope you find your mojo Alex. I find you disturbing without it.
Alex: Me, too.

Izzie: For what it's worth, I take issue with her salmon colored scrubs. I mean what self respecting surgeon wears salmon colored scrubs?
Meredith: This is what I'm saying.

2.07 -  Something to Talk About

Alex: Hey Izzie! -- Izzie! … Hey dollface! -- Oh I was gonna ask you a favor since you know maybe you’re better with people than I am …
Izzie: No.
Alex: But you haven’t even heard what …
Izzie: No! No. You’re like a broken record. God. You’re only ever nice or friendly or anything when it’s convenient for you. So no to your favor. No to you. No.
Alex: What’s up with you?
Izzie: I put on a dress! I did my hair! I had one night off in 2 weeks and I used it on you. And what do I get? Nothing. No respect. No apology. You couldn’t even be bothered to … kiss me goodnight. You know what you’re a coward and you’re just as shallow as you seem. So I am done trying to be your friend or whatever. I’m over it.

Joe: She yelled at you?
Izzie: Yeah, but we probably deserved it. We sold 485 dollars worth of tickets for the surgery.
Cristina: Yeah.
Izzie: Did you sell more?
Cristina(pulls money out of her back poket): Oh, yeah!

(About Meredith)
Bailey: Turn around, walk away.
Derek: From what?
Bailey: From my intern.
Derek: But I wasn't--
Bailey: Yes, you were. Look, look, look, you can't do this, you don't have the right. Not anymore.
Derek: I just wanna find out if she's okay.
Bailey: She's not. She's a human traffic accident and everybody is slowing down to look at the wreckage. She's doing the best she can with what she has left. Look I know you can't see this because you're in it. But you can't help her now, it'll only make it worse. Now walk away and leave her to mend.

(On top of a roof)
Derek: You know, when you said you found a lunchspot with a view I knew I should have taken you literally.
Addison: I found it in the Best of Seattle guide. It's hardly brown bagging on top of the Empire State Building, but they do have these cute little view finders.
Derek: You always find something to complain about.
Addison: Ok, is there anything that you like about me anymore? Because if there is I really need to know.
Derek: Well, I like that you like cute little view finders in every city that you live in.
Addison: I don't live here yet.(pause) You gonna stop talking to Meredith?
Derek: I will.
Addison: When? Today? Tomorrow? Next week?
Derek: Maybe I'm not ready yet.
Addison: Are you ever gonna be ready, Derek?
Derek: What if I say "no."
Addison: Then I'm not moving here.
Derek: Well, I guess we're at an impass then.

(Looking at the "pregnant guy", Shane, a nurse comes in)
Nurse: This room is supposed to be unoccupied, who's patient is this?
Izzie & Cristina: Hers.

Cristina: So hey, after rounds, we have something to show you.
Izzie: Mere? Meredith? Can you hear us?
Cristina: She's not deaf.
Izzie: Well, she looks weird.
Cristina: Well, what do you except? She's gone mental.
Izzie: Meredith have you gone mental?
Meredith: I have not gone mental.
Cristina: See? She's fine.

2.08 - Let It Be

Alex: What are you pissed about?
Izzie: You look at everything in a skirt.
Alex: I'd look at you in a skirt, something short, maybe school girl. Pleated.
Izzie: If that skirt didn't have a big pair of bouncing boobs attached to it, you'd stop looking.
Alex: You cut 'em off, you build 'em back up. Maybe you get to upgrade, life goes on.
Izzie: If there was a genetic test for testicular cancer you think men who tested positive would have this surgery? No, because it's castration. What man would willingly get rid of the part of his anatomy that makes him a man? This woman is having herself castrated. And we book an OR and act like it means nothing. It's not nothing. God, how could you possibly act like it's no big deal? I mean what if it was me?
Alex: Izzie, you're freaking out you know that, right?
Izzie: If I was the one with the cancer gene. I mean what if I showed up tomorrow and my boobs were made of plastic and my skin had aged 10 years and my sex drive had dried up. If it was me Alex, would you be so fine with it then? (He doesn't say anything) Yeah, you'd be really hot to kiss me with tongue then, wouldn't you?(She leaves)
(Later)
Alex: Here's the thing - I like your rack.
Izzie: God, what is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so - what is wrong with you?
Alex: I like your rack and I'd want them around if I could have them, trust me I would, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if you got rid of them... because really, I'd want you. (Izzie slaps him) Ow! What was that for? (she kisses him)

(After Webber asked her about the fellowship a few times before)
Webber: You're being wooed aren't you?
Bailey: Excuse me?
Webber: The fellowship, LA Med, Chicago Central. They're wooing you. I mean, you're fielding offers, you're looking at bonus packages, you're letting yourself be wooed.
Bailey: Chief I--
Webber: It's fine. It's fine. Go be a hotshot some where else. But tell me...how could you do this to me? I mean, I'm hurt, I'm really hurt. After all I've done for you. You're gifted and you're ungratful. And that's all I'm sayin'.
Bailey: I'm pregnant you blind moron.
Webber: You're what?
Bailey: My heart rate is 110, I'm burning 3000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I got indigestion and gas. Did you know that carrying a boy in your uterus means that you burn 10% more calories than if you had a girl. Guess what I'm carrying? I tried for 7 damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men; from the very beginnin' they just suck the life right outta you. I'm not leaving. I'm pregnant.
Webber: Um...congratulations.

(After a guy has a heart attack at the resturant Burke and Cristina were at)
Paramedic (To Burke): Who the hell are you?
Cristina: He's the cardio-thrasic surgeon that's gonna be operating on him.
Burke: And she's with me.

(At dinner)
Burke: You eat red meat?
Cristina: You don't?

(Trying to find a dress to wear for her date with Burke)
Izzie: Uh....they're both really nice.
Cristina: I know I bought them. But which one's right?
Izzie: For what? You're gonna look hot in either one.
Cristina: Well, clearly. That's not the point.
Meredith: Wow, you look hot.
Cristina: Yeah, Burke and I are gonna talk about how hot I am over dinner. This date is such a mistake.
George: It's easy to get nervous on dates. It's especially hard if you're out of practice. You just gotta be mellow, and relax--
Cristina: Yeah, I know how to date, George, how about you?
Alex: Well, I have her scheduled for the bisectomy, and I get to stay while plastics does a tran-flap reconstruction.
Izzie: I couldn't do it.
Alex: Do what? Make yourself all hot and sexy for your boyfriend like Yang?
Cristina: Go wrestle something.
Izzie: I couldn't cut off my ovaries and breasts just because I might have cancer.
Cristina: Look at it like a hand. If someone told you'd die unless you chopped off your hand, you'd do it.
Izzie: Except when you chop off a hand you don't kill your sex drive and have silicon breasts. Get flashes and lose your ability to bare children.
Meredith: If it were me I wouldn't even have the test, I mean what's the point? We're all gonna die anyway, right?(They stare at her) It's the Hello Kitty band-aid, on my forehead. It's freakin' me out.
Alex: I say slice and dice 'em, whatever. They're body parts.
Izzie: Oh, so you'd cut off your penis?
Alex: Yeah, if it kept me from dying. Besides I've got plenty to spare.(walks away)
Cristina(After trying on a dress): I could do hot in my sleep. I look hot in my scrubs. I'm a hot person. He's seen me naked a thousand times.
George: Bad, bad images in my head. (walks away)
Meredith: He's never seen you outside of the hospital.
Cristina: Thank you.

(After a patient fell 5 stories, he landed on a bird)
Bailey: After you get some xrays, you might wanna get in there and look for the rest of Tweety.

Izzie: You kissed me.
Alex: Yes, I did.
Izzie: Should we? I mean, there's a discussion that we could have... if you wanted to have one?
Alex: Izzie, I kissed you, with tongue, and I plan to do it again and again - get used to it. End of discussion.
Izzie: Ok.

George: This is the luckiest day in the world!
Cristina: Tell that to the bird.
 

2.09 - Thanks for the Memories
(On the phone)
George: I'm in hell.
Cristina: I'm the one in hell. Burke's going all Iron Chef in your kitchen. Get your ass back here and save me.
George: I'm in the woods with shotguns and liquor. It's like deliverance out here.
Cristina: Well, at least you've got liquor. Where does Meredith keep the booze?
George: Um...I don't think she has any.
Cristina: How's that possible? She's a wasp. Liquor is like oxygen to a wasp.
George: Which is why we're out of liquor. Listen, can you come and get me?
Cristina: Ok, how am I supposed to get through the holidays without liquor, George?!

(Watching Izzie and Burke cook)
Joe: 10 says she dries out the turkey.
Walter: 20 says she pulls it off.
Cristina: 75 says I don't care.

Alex: I tell you something, you tell me something.
Meredith: OK. I feel like one of those people who's so freakin' miserable, they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infected the happy people. Like I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress. Your turn.
Alex: I failed the medical boards. If I tell Izzie she'll be nice about it and all supportive and optimistic. She might as well rip my nads off and turn 'em into earrings.

Joe: Happy Thanksgiving.
Cristina: Joe, thank god.
Joe: Hey, this...is my boyfriend. Walter.
Cristina: Whatever. Tell me you brought liquor.
Joe: I brought pie, pumpkin.
Cristina: You're a bartender.
Joe: Did you bring scalpels?

(After Burke starts helping Izzie cook)
Cristina: I'm gonna need liquor, lots and lots of liquor.

Bailey: Thank you for volunterring to come in, saves me from choosing an intern to torture.
Meredith: Happy to be tortured.

Addison: So...I...was thinking that we could have sex tonight. (Derek laughs and then Addison laughs) Look, I know we're both gonna feel weird about it. But it'll be the first time since--
Derek: Since Mark.
Addison: And Meredith. I have the day off, do you have the day off?
Derek: I have to stop by the hospital I have patients that I need to check on. If you have the day off what are you doing here?
Addison: I was thinking that we could have sex tonight. Come on, I made a reservation at noon, I was figure that we could do the Thanksgiving thing and then---I don't know, just rip the stitches get it over with.

Cristina: (To Izzie after invited Burke to Thanksgiving dinner) What was I supposed to do? Blow off my boyfriend for Thanksgiving? (pause) I tried to. He wouldn't blow. He's like something sticky that won't blow off.

Addison: Derek, are you done hurting me back? If not, I need to special order a thicker skin.

2.10 - Much Too Much

Meredith: Why do they always look so sad when I kick them out? (Cristina laughs) Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar and take them home for sex that there are no white picket fences or kids in your future? (Cristina pulls a key out of her pocket) Burke keyed you?
Cristina: I got freakin' keyed before coffee.
Meredith: What is wrong with them?
Cristina: They like these 1950's debutants: one dance and you have a shotgun to your head.
(Steve walks up, Meredith's one night stand)
Steve: Meredith. (She looks stunned) You work here?
Meredith: What are you doing here? Steve.
Cristina (Whispers to Meredith): Steve, Steve?
Steve: I'm having a little problem. Actually I'm having a big problem. (He moves his jacket from his waist. Meredith is looking at his face still, but Cristina sees it)
Meredith: What?
Cristina: Steve. Hi. Cristina.
Steve: Ever since you and I, it won't go away. (Meredith sees what he's talking about now, Cristina keeps staring)
Meredith: Cristina!
Cristina: What? It's right there looking at me. (Steve looks embarrassed) Oh, there are so many things I could say right now. (Pats Meredith’s shoulder) Champ.

Meredith: Why do they always look so sad when I kick them out? (Cristina laughs) Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar and take them home for sex that there are no white picket fences or kids in your future? (Cristina pulls a key out of her pocket) Burke keyed you?
Cristina: I got freakin' keyed before coffee.
Meredith: What is wrong with them?
Cristina: They like these 1950's debutants: one dance and you have a shotgun to your head.

(Showing Burke her apartment, which is a total mess)
Cristina: This...is where I live my mother decorated it. I don't do laundry, I buy new underwear. And uh, under the table, six months of magazines I know I'll never read but I won't throw out. I don't wash dishes, vaccuum, or put the toliet paper on the holder. I hired a maid once, she ran away crying. Uh..the only things in my fridge are water, vodka, and diet soda. And I don't care, but you do. Still think living together is a good idea?

Meredith: Don't tell me...
Cristina: The flag is flying once again.
Steve: Hey, nothing I did.
Bailey: Well, we've tried everything so it must be nerual.
Meredith: Nerual?
Cristina: She already called for a consult.
Meredith: A consult? You called nerual for a consult?!
Bailey: Hey, it's not my fault you broke the boy's penis.
Derek(Coming in the room): Hello everybody. What's up?
(Little later)
Derek: Hmm, so when did this...problem begin?
Steve: Well, I had a erection last night.(Meredith cringes, Cristina smirks) And I woke up with one this morning.
Bailey: Dr. Shepherd if you don't need me the other Dr. Shepherd needs a consult on one of the quints.
Derek: No, we're fine. So when did you last ejaculate?
(Meredith cringes some more)
Steve: I'm not sure. (Turns to Meredith) Meredith?
Cristina: Oh, I'm--I'm gonna go with Dr. Bailey.
Steve: Meredith, what time did we---sort of--uh, uh--
Derek: Yes, Meredith. What time did you two---

Meredith: Steve's labs came back clean.
Cristina: So?
Meredith: So someone needs to induce vasocontriction.
Cristina: Oh, nice try with the fancy word. He needs an enema and the answer is "no".
Meredith: I can't do it.
Cristina: Oh, come on. You let a guy you pick up in a bar and see you naked and you can't give him an enema.
Meredith: Totally uncalled for.
Cristina: I am keyed up and cranky.
Meredith: I would do this for you.
Cristina: Ooh! Oh, really. You'd give Burke and enema.
Meredith: Yes.
Cristina: Uh-huh.
Meredith: Maybe.
Cristina: Mmm-hmm.
Meredith: No. But that's not the point.
Cristina: Okay, here' how it goes. I do this for you and you do every enema I'm assigned to for a month.
Meredith: Deal.
Cristina: Wow, you really don't wanna do this.

George: Ugh, another sleepless night in Seattle.
Izzie: Who was it this time? Hairy back guy?
George: You know who I miss? Inapporiate facial hair guy. You know he did his own dishes.
Izzie: Huh, tattooed ass guy made coffee.
George: Yeah. He's a keeper.(Izzie looks at him) What? What? Meredith? I'm over her.
Izzie: Okay.
George: I am.
Izzie: I can see that.
George: Is she trying to set some kind of record?
Izzie: At least she has a goal.
(They see the guy leave)
George: Oh, he's new.
Izzie: And I shall name him running guy.
George: You know who I heard Alex come home with last night?You.
Izzie: I don't wanna talk about it.(George laughs) Actually, I really wanna talk about it. But he doesn't wanna talk about it because there were...technical difficulties.
George: What?
Izzie: You know he didn't(Makes motion with he hand) He didn't--
George(laughs): Oh no---
Izzie: Stop it.(He keeps laughing) You can't say anything.(He laughs harder) George, stop it.
George: I mean I'm at least thinking about making fun of him the next time I see him.
Izzie: He said it never happened before.
George: That's what we all say. And I mean they. What they all say.
Izzie: I don't know maybe this relationship just isn't meant to be. I mean I just---I just need some sex, George. I just (She grabs his shirt hard and angry) I need sex now! You know what I mean?
George: No matter how hard you beg...I'm not doing you.(They laugh)

(After Meredith's one night stand comes back to the hospital, as a patient)
Steve: Do you think it's serious? It hurts like it's serious.
Cristina: Do you realize this is completely insane?
Meredith: Well, we have to stash him some where until we figure out what's wrong with him. I can't have the whole hospital finding out.
Cristina: Hey, I am not going down for this. It's not my fault you broke this guys penis.
Bailey>(Overhearing): Broke his what? Cristina and Meredith keep walking Hey! Don't make me chase you down. I'm growing a person here!

Yang: What the hell is this?
Burke: It's a key.
Yang: Why?
Burke: Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential this morning?
Yang: Well, if the key turns in a lock, and no one asked for the key or even wanted the key, does it make a sound?

2.11 - Owner of a Lonely Heart

Izzie (After complaining about Alex): I'm having a moment here.
Cristina: You're not gonna have a nervous breakdown and kill yourself are you?
Izzie: No.
Cristina: So there's no chance you'd kill us?
(Izzie storms off)
George: Oh, that was wrong on so many levels.
Cristina: And so good.
George: That was. That was good.
(Cristina laughs)

Cristina: Why'd you kill three people?
Constance: Start off with a little small talk why don't ya.

Cristina: Hell hath no fury like a girl who's non-boyfriend screws a nurse.
Izzie: Bitch.
Cristina(Smiles): I like you better pissed off, you're almost like a normal person now.

Addison: You live in a glorified camper.
Derek: It's 40 acres of some of the most beautiful land in Seattle.
Addison: I don't give up a Cental Park brownstone to come and live in the forest.
Derek: Addy, our house in the Hamptons had trees, you didn't mind those trees, did you?
Addison: They were the Hamptons!

(to George, Cristina and Meredith about Alex)
Izzie: He is unbelievable! I'm so glad I never slept with him. Which is his loss, because I'm really good in bed. Mind blowing, mind blowingly good in bed.
Cristina: Are you trying to seduce us?

Meredith Voiceover: Four hundered years ago, another English guy had an opinion on being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire onto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just means that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have four legs. Someone to play with, or run around with, or just hang out.

Constance: (To Cristina) Dont worry, I only killed 3 people and none of them were doctors.

2.12 -  Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

(Izzie catches George helping Alex study)
George: Izzie wait.
Izzie: I say I like the guy and you can’t stop hating him. And as soon--
George: Izzie.
Izzie: As soon as he screws me over--
George: Izzie!
Izzie: You’re his new best friend.
George: Izzie, he failed his boards. This is important.
Izzie: He cheated on me.
Meredith(Walking up): Busted?
George: Yeah. I’m busted.
Meredith: His exam is tomorrow.
Izzie: You’re in on this too? He cheated on me! God!
Cristina(She’s walking down that hall with a Christmas tree): Oh, I told you she’d find out.
Izzie: Oh, of course you’re in on it.
George: She let him touch her boobs!
(Cristina hits George with the Christmas tree)
Izzie: He cheated on me with George’s skanky syph nurse!
George: That is just plain rude!
Meredith: We know, he cheated on you! That’s why we let you turn the living room into Santa’s freakin’ Village. We’re not big on holidays you know that. But we’re trying to be supportive because you are having a hard time. But right now, Alex, he’s having a harder time.
Izzie: Why does everyone care what kinda time Alex is having?
Meredith: Because he’s dirty Uncle Sal.
George: Sorry?
Cristina: Huh?
Meredith: He’s dirty Uncle Sal. The one who embarrasses everyone at family reunions and the one who can’t be left alone with the teenage girls but you invite him to the picnic anyway.
Cristina: Sorry. What?
George: I still don’t--
Meredith: I have a mother that doesn’t recognize me. As far as family goes, this hospital, you guys are it. I know you’re pissed at Alex but maybe you can try and help him anyway. Sorta like in the spirit of this holiday you keep shoving down everyone’s throats.
(Izzie and Meredith walk away)
Cristina:You.
George: What?
Cristina: Boob.

(Cristina is helping Alex study)
Cristina: Okay, the way you’re grabbing me now, that’s assault.
(She shows him how to do it the right way, and George walks in)
George: What? What the hell? Does Izzie know? Does Burke know about this?
Cristina: Un-bunch your panties, George. We’re helping Alex study.
George: I can’t hear you when his hand is on your boob.
Cristina: Take your hand off my boob, Alex.
George: Thank you. Study for what?
Alex: Shut it, Yang.
Cristina: Alex failed his boards.
George: Seriously?
Alex: I failed one part of one board. That’s it.
George: Still…that’s pretty embarrassing.
Cristina(She gets paged): Ah, he’s all yours Georgey do your worst.
George: You’re not giving me a rectal. Do not ask me to cough.

(Cristina walks in and sees, Alex touching Meredith)
Cristina: Ok, seriously, if you are that lonely there are excellent vibrators, I can give you a catalog.
Meredith: He failed his boards, I'm helping him study.
Cristina: You failed your practical?
Alex: Glad to know you can keep a secret, Grey.
Meredith: I kept your secret, it didn't do you any good. He needs our help.
Cristina: Oh, you're not serious.
Meredith: What if it were you?
Cristina: It wouldn't be.
Meredith: But what if it were?
Cristina: It wouldn't be.
(Meredith gets paged)
Meredith: I have to go. Be a patient do it for me.
Cristina: Fine, but when Tiny Tim goes all Norman Bates on us, I'm blaming you.

Bailey: Grey, Karav, you get to cover the pit. You can expect all kinds of holiday idiocy so that is my gift to you.

Meredith Voiceover: It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike during the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason why depression rates actually do spike at the holidays. (edit)
Bailey: Do not kick me!
George: Excuse me?
Bailey: Are you kicking me under the table, O'Malley?
George: No!
Bailey: Then clearly I wasn't talking to you! (sighs, to her stomach) You cannot kick me while I'm doing my job. (deep breath) Thank you.

Cristina: I'm a 55 year old man. I'm nauseous and I can't stop throwing up.
Alex: Forget it alright. I didn't ask for anybody's help.
Cristina: Look evil spawn, you can nurse your pride, key word being nurse. Or you can pass your test and be a doctor. Up to you.
Alex: (pauses) Any abdominal pain.
Cristina: Yes, from my giant fat belly all the way to my back. Oh and I'm drunk. Hiccup. Hiccup.

Nurse : Chief, Adelle just called.
Chief: Tell her I'm ---
Nurse: She knows you're not in surgery and she said to tell you, quote: We are going to our niece's school pageant this morning. You have known about it for months. And after what you pulled on Thanksgiving, than she started using a great many word that I don't feel comfortable repeating.
Chief: Look I have 7 surgeons on vacation.
Nurse: There was something about divorce.

Izzie (She slaps him): Wake up! God no wonder you failed your boards. How do you expect to learn this stuff? Through osmosis?
Alex: What are you doing here?
Izzie: I'm a farmer. Okay? I've been drooling, puking, and crapping my pants.
Alex: You came here to help me study?
Izzie: Well, I'm not actually crapping my pants now, am I?
Alex: Why would you wanna help me after what I did?
Izzie (pauses then yells): Because... it's what Jesus... would freaking do!

(After Izzie decorated the living room)
George (To Meredith): It looks like Santa threw up in here.

Dr. Derek Shepherd (to Addison): I'm not saying this to hurt you or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you.

Cristina: Seriously, Burke, I haven't observed religious holidays since I was old enough to know better.

2.13 - Begin the Begin

Meredith: I've moved on. So don't give me that look.
Derek: What look?
Meredith: That look. Our look. I'm over you.
Derek: I'm over you too.
Meredith: You are?
Derek: No.
Meredith: Well, I am...over you.
Derek: I'm over you too.
Meredith: You just said--shut up.  
Derek: I got a trout. (She sees it and jumps) A rainbow trout.
Addison: Why--why did you bring a trout into the house?
Derek: Trailer.
Addison: Why did you bring a rainbow trout into the trailer?
Derek: Breakfast.
Addison: Breakfast?
Derek: Yeah. You hungry?
Addison: For trout?
Derek: Yeah.
Addison: I hate this, Derek. Ugh! I hate this, hate, hate! I hate this trailer!
Derek: Fine then. No trout for you.  
Webber: Cranky nurses don't do us any good.
Izzie (To Alex): Oh, well maybe you can cheer them up.  
(George and Izzie were hiding in the bathroom from the dog)
Meredith: What are you guys doing in there? We're gonna be late.
George: We need to talk about the dog.
Izzie: That's not a dog, it's a hyena skipped right into the zoo just in dog clothing.
George: Whatever. I don't chew up his clothes. I don't urinate on his bed. I don't try to mount him from behind.  
Derek: There is a land called Passive Agressiva and you are their Queen.  
Miranda: What are you saying.. I look tired, O'Malley?
George: No.. not tired.. no! You look.. um.. fresh, spry.. you glow.. (looking at his watch) it's time now!
Miranda: O'Malley, go do an intake on Addison Shepherd's patient!
Izzie: You do glow!
Alex: Like the moon!  
Miranda: Yang, why are you looking at my fat pregnant belly?  

2.14 -  Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

(When giving her dog to Derek)
Meredith: So… he chews everything, so don’t leave anything out. He hates cats and small little yappy dogs. Oh… not housebroken.
Derek: Oh.
Meredith: Probably should have told you that…  
(Talking about their relationships with Burke and Derek)
Cristina: What are you doing?
Meredith: What are you doing?
Cristina: Stop repeating what I say.
Meredith: Stop asking me questions.  
Meredith(voiceover): As doctors, we're trained to be skeptical because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is every patient is a liar until proven honest.  
Meredith(voiceover): So here's the truth about truth. It hurts. So we lie.  
George: I'm George. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy your tampons.  
(the dog is hiding underneath a cart and barks)
Burke: Dr. Grey is that a dog?
Meredith(smiles sweetly): No.  
George: I'm putting my foot down. Either the dog moves out or I do. Foot down now. It's me or the dog. Which is it?
(Meredith looks down at the dog)
George: You hesitated! (to Izzie)She hesitated!
Izzie(to Meredith): You hesitated?!
Meredith: I didn't hesitate! I was thinking.  
Dr. Bailey: Tell me that is not a dog.
Everyone: It's not a dog.

2.15 -  Break on Through

(Izzie, George and Meredith are lying in George's bed. Meredith turns out the light next to the bed.)
George:Anybody wanna have sex?
(Meredith laughs)
Izzie: George!  
Cristina: She called me unkind and lacking in compassion. In front of my boyfriend. I am not unkind.
Meredith: I think I have to kill a woman tomorrow. I have to take out the tube that is keeping her alive.
Cristina: Izzie.
Joe: This is the part where you say what is wrong with you.
Meredith: I have to kill a woman tomorrow.
Cristina: And that's a problem why? I mean if it's what she wants, it's what she wants. And that is not unkind or lacking in compassion. I'm a very compassionate person.  
(Cindy hugs Cristina)
Cristina: Ow. Ow. Ow.
Cindy: Am I hurting you?
Cristina: No, you're touching me.  
Burke: Never have I questioned a fellow surgeon in their O.R. I never understood what the problem was, an intern dating an attending...until today.  
Cindy: Anyone want to probe the wound?
Cristina and Alex: I do.
Alex: I'd really love to try your method of healing with love.
Cindy: I like the way you think Alex. You do the honors.  
Cindy: So it looks like it's just you and me, Izzie Mcgee!
Izzie: It's Stephens, Izzie Stephens.
Cindy: Oh no I knew. I was just rhyming.
(awkward pause)
Izzie: Oh right. Rhyming. That's neat.  
Webber: We need an additional 40 nurses to relieve the whole retirement that's striking about. That's 2 million dollars a year we don't have.
Derek: Have you checked under the couch? I always find spare change under the cushions.  
Izzie: Way to get your strike on.  
George: Dad's a truck driver, Mom's a teacher. The evening news shows me crossing a picket line, they'll out-live me just to pee on my grave.  
Izzie: I'm her mother, but I'm not her mom.  
Meredith(voiceover): We can’t help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it’s the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is, once you’ve crossed it’s almost impossible to go back. But if you do manage to make it back across that line you find safety in numbers.

2.16 -  It's the End of the World (Part I)

(The bomb squad guy is trying to get in the O.R. that Cristina is in and she's blocking the door)
Meredith(To the bomb squad): Oh no, she will hurt him.
Cristina: What is going on?
Meredith: Bomb in a body cavity.
Cristina: Man, all I got is Bailey's husband's open brain.
Meredith: What procedure?
Cristina: Craneotomy.
Meredith: Shepherd's got Bailey's husband on the table? Bailey's having a baby---
Dylan: Excuse me! Stop talking!
(Cristina makes a face)  
Izzie (To George): Ok, this is the last time I'm gonna tell you this, if you're gonna clog up the toilet, you've got to be willing to use a plunger or else we're gonna make you crap in the back yard.  
Burke: (to Meredith) I want you to walk out of this room. Walk. Do not run. Go and tell the charge nurse that we have a Code Black.
Meredith: I'm sorry, code black?
Burke: Code Black. Tell him that I am sure, and then tell him to call the bomb squad.  
Cristina: Which surgeon are we gonna have to suck up to today?
Bailey: That would be me.
Izzie: Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: I've been gone two weeks, two weeks, and you ran off two residents. I've got people phoning me at home, screamin', telling me my interns are Rosemary's babies. Nobody wants you. Do you think I have time for this? I am pregnant. I'm supposed to be on bed rest. I'm supposed to be growing a human being, I'm supposed to be calm. Do I look calm to you? Did I raise you fools to be pariahs?
(George walks up and hugs her)
George: You're back.
Bailey: I am not back!
George: You're not?
Bailey: Get off me. Yang, Karav, Grey stay here and wait for the incoming case, O'malley page Dr. Addison Shepherd. Stevens, get a wheelchair.
Izzie: A wheelchair?
Bailey: A wheelchair.
George: What should I tell Dr. Montgomery Shepherd?
Bailey: What did I say?
George: Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: What?
George: What do you want me to tell Dr. Montgomery Shepherd when she answers her page?
(Bailey's water breaks)
Bailey: Tell her my contractions are 10 minutes apart and my water just broke all over your shoes.
(Izzie arrives with a wheelchair, George picks Bailey up to put her in the wheelchair)
Bailey: Just get---Boy, get off me!  
Izzie: You knew Meredith and Cristina would be on the floor with the bomb.
George: Yeah.
Izzie: Is it wrong that we're jealous? It's all right that we're jealous, right?
George: The fact that we're jealous that they may blow up a guy is not a reflection on our character, it's about feeling useless.
Izzie: And effectual.
George: We couldn't even get Meredith out of bed this morning, we had to call in Cristina. How embarassing is that?
Izzie: You know what I think George? I think Meredith and Cristina are do-ers.
George: They do. They're do-ers.
Izzie: They do, and we, we watch. We're watchers.(She sees Alex) We have to become more proactive, George. We have to become do-ers.
George: Fight for what we want.
Izzie: We have to do.
George: Yeah.
(Izzie gets up to find Alex)
George: Oh, you mean, we are starting right now. OK.  
Bailey: Dr. Shepherd? Where exactly is my husband?
Addison: He’s with my husband.
(Bailey starts to cry)  
Addison: A gathering of men outside a delivery room. How mid-century of you.  
Bailey (on cellphone): Tucker Jones? You better be lyin’ in the street dead somewhere because when I get my hands on you (goes into labor) I AM HAVING YOUR BABY!  
(Cristina takes an incoming patient, instead of stopping the screaming woman)
Alex: I thought you said Burke told you to shut her up.
Cristina: Oh, no, Burke told me to tell you to shut her up.
Alex: Ma'am.(Woman screams) Ma'am?(She screams again) Mrs. Carlson are you injured?(She screams) I need you to (She screams) Mrs. Carlson.(She screams) Can you hear me?(She screams Alex puts face close to woman and screams)
[screaming stops]
Alex: (pleasant) Good, can you tell me what happened to your husband?
(Woman starts crying)  
Bailey: I could do this at home with a pair of scissors and a bucket of hot water.
George: You know, millions of women die every year from delivering their own babies. (Bailey and Addison stare) I did NOT just say that out loud...  
Bailey: What are you people doing out here?
Webber: Are you alright? Can I get you anything?
Bailey: A boy the size of a 10 pound bowling ball is working its way out of my body. Can you give me something for that? Can you give me a new vagina?
Webber: Uh, well..
Bailey: I didn't think so.  
Hannah: So, I’m touching live, unexploded ammunition.
Burke: I think so.
Hannah: Not the greatest feeling in the world.  
Burke: You were gone when I woke up.
Cristina: I had to do a thing.
Burke: You didn’t leave a note.
 
Izzie: Take off your pants.
Alex: What are you doing?
Izzie: I'm being a do-er. Getting while the gettings good, now take off your pants.
Alex: You realize when I said the apocalypse, I meant it metaphorically, not literally.
Izzie: Alex, I haven't had sex in 8 months, and 12 days. I'm horny, i'm half naked, and i'm saying yes. You wanna stand there and talk metaphors, or do you wanna literally take off your pants?  
Derek: Bailey's back? (Hurries to the door but stops when he looks in the window) And her cervix is being examined by my wife, which is a visual that I will never get out of my head.  
Derek: Your girlfriend is my ex-girlfriend's best friend. Can't we just call each other by first name?
Burke: I don't think so.
Derek: Seriously?
Burke: Seriously.  
Meredith: I'm just not going.
Izzie: You have to go to work. You're an intern. Saving lives is not optional.
Meredith: Yes, it is. I'm staying home.
George (Whispers to Izzie): We're supposed to be helping.(Walks over to Meredith's bed) Uh, Mere, maybe there will be a horrible accident nearby the hospital, cut a bunch of people open, sterneotomies, craniotimies, that'd be kinda fun, huh?  
Cristina: You have a feeling?
Meredith: Yes.
Cristina: Ok, what kind of feeling?
Meredith: Like I might die.
Cristina: Uh, today? Tomorrow? In 50 years? We're all gonna die eventually, but now we're late, let's go.
Meredith: Cristina, come on.
Cristina: This is me being supportive.
Meredith: Really?
Cristina: Yeah. Ok. Fine. I'm totally supportive. Go.
Meredith: Okay, the man I love, has a wife. And then he chooses her over me. And that wife, takes my dog. Okay, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn't mean to give it to her. I meant to give it to him. But that does not change the fact that she's got my McDreamy. And my McDog. She's got my McLife. And what have I got? You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't. Plus my coniditoner decided to stop working, and I think I have britial bones. I just--I just need something to happen. I need a sign things are gonna change. I need a reason to go on, I need some hope. And in the absence of hope I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today.
Cristina(Pauses for a second, then pulls the sheets off of her): Whatever. Everybody has problems, now get your ass out of bed and get to work. Now! Move! Move! Move!(To Izzie and George) We're good to go.  
Derek: You alright?
Meredith: I have a feeling.
Derek: I get those.
Meredith: Yeah?
Derek: Yeah.
Meredith: And?
Derek: If you wait long enough it passes.
Meredith: You promise?
Derek: I promise.
(Meredith walks away, and Addison walks in)
Addison: Hey.. what'ya doing?
Derek: Waiting for it to pass..

2.17 -  (As We Know It) (Part II)

(After his surgery, after the whole bomb thing is over)
Derek: Where is she?
Webber: You had to be a cowboy.
Derek: Where is she?
Webber: She's right here.
Addison (Walks quickly up to him and hugs him): Derek. Oh, thank god you're ok.
(Derek has his head on Addison's shoulder and looks over at Dr. Webber)
Adelle(To Webber): That was not the she that he was askin' for.  
Alex: Well, blood work's back. The chief has an anixety attack. Who's gonna tell him?
Izzie: Um...I gave you sex in the linen closet, you tell him.
Alex: Fair enough.  
Dylan: You know that was a very stupid move?
Cristina:It was Mere. Incredibly stupid.
Meredith: OK, you know when you don't need to be made fun of? Like when you have your hand inside a body that's got a bomb in it and a stranger is velcroing a flak jacket to your boobs.  
Shepherd: I'm just saying I don't want to be the guy that kills Bailey's husband.
Burke: And I don't want to be the guy that kills us all.  
Cristina: You know in the movies, how there's always the hero and then there's the other guy? You know, the guy who sees danger, and then runs in the opposite direction?
Dr. Burke: Yes.
Cristina: Be the other guy.  
George: (Finds Addison sitting alone in the hallway) Dr. Montgomery Shepherd? What are we going to do? You know, about Dr. Bailey. I mean, can we drug her?
Addison: Against her will?
George: No. Well, yes. Can't we force her? Uh, declare her temporarily insane?
Addison: You want me to declare Miranda Bailey, MIRANDA Bailey incompetent?  
Meredith: (To Preston and Dylan) I need one of you to tell me what this means, exactly. Because I think I know what it means, but I tend to be glass half empty these days. So, I won't trust what I think it means because what I think it means is that if the bomb were to explode over the oxygen line the whole hospital could blow up. And that's just crazy, right?  
George: Oh, Dr. Bailey, I can see the top of his head, oh he's cute.
Bailey: O'Malley?
George: Yeah?
Bailey: Stop lookin' at my va-jay-jay.
George: Yes ma'am.  
Meredith: I can't... I can't remember our last kiss. All I could think about was I'm going to die today and I can't remember our last kiss. Which is pathetic, but the last time we were together and happy I want to be able to remember that. And I can't Derek. I can't remember.
Derek: I'm glad you didn't die today. (goes to leave but turns around) It was a Thursday morning. You were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth t-shirt you look so good in. The one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were gonna see me later and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. Was quick, kinda like a habit. You know, like we'd do it every day for the rest of our lives. You went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed.
Meredith (beat): Lavender. My hair smelled like lavender from my conditioner.
Derek: Lavender. huh.  
Meredith: Tell me something.
Cristina: What?
Meredith: Cristina, I have my hand on a bomb; I'm freaking out. And, most importantly, I really have to pee. Tell me anything.
Cristina: He told me he loved me. Last night, he thought I was sleeping, but I heard him say it.
Meredith: Burke loves you.
Cristina: Yeah. (To Dylan who is watching her) mind your own business.
Meredith: Burke loves you.
Cristina: Yeah, everybody has problems.
Meredith: Well, are you gonna say it back?
Christina: Of course not. He didn't say it to me. He said it to the sleeping me. Reciprocity is not required. Besides, he might blow up.
Meredith: Excellent point.  
Meredith: Is this the strangest thing that's ever happened in your O.R.?
Burke: I'd have to say that it is.
Meredith: Good, cause I'm very competitive.
Burke: All the best surgeons are.  
Izzie: I was jealous. I was jealous of Meredith and the surgery and I (pause) I was jealous and now... I was jealous, Alex.  
Izzie: (to George and Alex) Would you two just shut up! Nobody cares if the blue is bluer or if you have super smelling powers. Meredith could die. Any minute she could just die. Actually stop living. Dead. Corpse. (starts giggling) I'm sorry. Sorry. God, I have really inappropriate reactions to this kind of stress. I'm sorry.


2.18 -  Yesterday

George: How do I look today? Would you say that I looked nice?
Izzie: You could use a little bit more lip gloss, but, yes you’re very pretty.  
Mark: That guy’s pretty much a goner, huh?
Meredith: Sensitivity. I like that in a stranger. Are you new here?
Mark: Visiting. Confounded by all the rain and it’s only my first day in town.
Meredith: You get used to it.
Mark: It makes me wanna stay in bed all day.
Meredith: We just met and already you’re talking about bed. Not very subtle.
(Derek sees him and so does Addison)
Mark: Subtle never been my strong suit. So, do you ever go out with co-workers?
Meredith: I um…make it a rule not to.
Mark: Then I am so glad that I don’t work here.
Meredith: Are you hitting on me? In a hospital?
Mark: Would that be wrong?
Meredith: Meredith.
(They shake hands, and Derek hits him)
Meredith: What the hell was that?!
Derek: That was Mark.  
(About her spontaneous orgasms)
Addison: How often?
Pamela: Uh…I don’t know. About 7 or 8 times a day.
Izzie(Excited): Everyday?
Addison: Uh…Dr. Stevens.
Izzie: I’m sorry.(In serious tone) Everyday?
Pamela: Yes. Everyday.
Addison: And you haven’t seen a doctor about this before?
George: Well, it’s not exactly something that you wanna cure, is it?
Addison: Dr. O’Malley.
George: Sorry. (In low tone, to Pamela) Is it?  
Mark: How come you can forgive her but not me?
Derek: I didn’t forgive her. And with you I have no obligation to try.  
Webber: Punching out people on my surgical floor. My head of neuro-surgery punching out people on my surgical floor.
Addison: Put the ice back on your hand.
Derek: My hand is fine!
Webber: Put the damn ice on your 2 million dollar a year hand! Now would someone tell my what the hell happened?
Addison: That was Mark.
Webber: Who's Mark?
Addison: He and Derek used to work together back in New York. And ... umm... They... We were all close friends. Until Derek found us in bed together.
Webber (To Derek): You put your weight behind it?
Derek: Yes sir.
Webber: Well, alright then.  
Mark: Derek and I always did have the same taste in women.
Meredith: Excuse me?
Mark: You’re Derek’s lusty intern, right? Heard about you all the way back in New York you’re famous.
Meredith: Hmm, well I heard about you all the way here in Seattle so I guess we have a lot in common.
Mark: We're the dirty mistresses.
Meredith: I suppose we are.
Mark: My 400 dollar an hour shrink says that because behind this rugged and confident extierior, I’m self destruction and self loathing to an almost pathological degree.
Meredith: Hey, we do have a lot in common.
Mark: You know it’s funny, Derek---Derek walks in on me naked with his wife actually in the throes. And he just turns around and walks away, but he sees me so much as talking to you and I’m on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don’t you think?  
Cristina: I don't get what McDreamy and McSteamy see in her.
Alex: Cause she's McHot.
George: McYeah she is.  
Meredith (Voiceover): We grow bigger and taller, but we never actually grow up. I've heard it's possible to, but i've just never met anyone who actually has. Without our parents to defy we'll break the rules we set for ourselves. We'll throw temper tantrums when things don't go our way. We'll whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We'll look for comfort wherever we can find it, and like children, we'll never give up hope.  
Burke: I am Preston Burke, a widely reknowned cardiao-thoraxic surgeon. I am a professional and more than that, I am a good and kind person. I am a person that cleans up behind myself. I am a person that cooks well. And you, you are an unbelievable slob. A slovenly, angry intern. I am Preston Burke. And you, you are the most competitive, most guarded, most challenging person I have ever met. And I love you.  
Ellis: I'm exhausted.
Meredith: So Am I.
Ellis: I was going at it all night in the on call room. What's your excuse?
Meredith: Mom.
Ellis: I tell ya. That man can make me purr like a kitten.
Meredith: Mom.
Ellis: When he isn't making me growl like a tiger.
Meredith: Stop!  
(Trying to come up with names for Mark)
Cristina: McSexy?
Meredith: No.
Izzie: McYummy?
Meredith & Cristina: No.
Meredith: McSteamy.
Cristina: Ah, there it is.
Izzie: Yep.
George: Now...I'll just be choking back some McVomit.  
George (To Meredith): I know I'm not a world reknowned surgeon and I know I'm not alot of things you've gone for in the past. But I would never leave you, I would never hurt you, and I will never stop loving you. (Meredith pulls his shirt over his head and doesn't say anything)  
George: Why is he suturing his own face?
Cristina: To turn me on.
Alex: Because he's Mark Sloan. He's like the go to plastic surgeon on the East Coast.
George(Whispers): That's the guy that Addison was sleeping with?
Izzie: Well, you can't really blame her, can you?
Cristina: No, not really.  
Cristina: What's wrong with you?
Meredith: My mom is a filthy whore.

2.19 -  What Have I Done To Deserve This?

George (Voiceover): Ok, so sometimes, even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're going to regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean maybe not regret regret, because at least, you know, we put ourselves out there, but still. Something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet we do it anyway. What I’m saying is “we reap what we sow.” What comes around goes around. It’s karma. And anyway you slice it, karma sucks. Like I was saying: Payback is a bitch.  
(After Alex found out she slept with George)
Alex: I mean, it’s not like I should be surprised.
Meredith: Why not?
Alex: Because when your life is sucking you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men. It’s your thing. Whatever. I find it charming.
Meredith: You sleep with inappropriate women when you’re sober.  
George: Why? I just wanna know...why you--if you didn't want to.
Meredith: I didn't know I didn't want to. You were there and you were saying all these perfect things and I was sad. And so I thought "Maybe...maybe I've just been overlooking what's been in front of me...and if I just give it a chance, because you're George and you're so great." I didn't know I didn't want to until I knew I didn't want to.
George(Sadly): Yeah. Okay.
Meredith: Can we please just go back to everything the way it was?
George(pause): I don't know how to go back.(pauses) No. I'm done. We're done.  
George: I believe in karma. You know I mean, good people deserve good things. At least that’s how I thought the…universe worked.
Cristina: How can you think that and practice medicine?  
(Seeing George and Meredith acting weird)
Alex: 10 bucks says O’Malley caught her doing Mark Sloan.
Izzie: There’s something going on, I mean look at them.
Alex: All right, he walked in on her doing McDreamy. (Cristina and Izzie laugh) Did I just call that dude McDreamy?
Cristina: Oh, you know you did.
Alex (To Izzie): Awesome, you are ruining my life. (He moves to kiss her but Cristina hits his back)
Cristina: Get a room.  
Bailey: No moving, no peeking, no pulling the curtain, just stand there and let her talk to you. Do you understand?
Derek: Is this really necessary?
Bailey: I said do you understand?
Derek: I'm not mentally challenged.
Bailey: I'm not so sure about that.  
Bailey: Mind if I asked how this happened?
Addison: I slept with Mark!
Bailey: Ooh. And he has poison oak honey?
Addison: No! I slept with Mark a year ago and apparently this is what I get!
Bailey: Yeah. But how did you...
Addison: I live in a trailer. I have Meredith Grey's dog and I went outside to throw a stick and I had to pee. So, I squatted because I didn't wanna go inside and wake up my husband because of the way he's been looking at me since yesterday. (Starts crying) I just wanted a few minutes of peace and this is what I get!
Bailey: No, no, quite. (She keeps crying) Don't cry. Please, please don't cry! Stop! You're gonna make me (she moves her hands from her shirt showing that her shirt's wet) lactate.
Addison (Still crying): I'm sorry. I'm sorry.  
(Bailey is taking stuff to help Addison)
Webber: I see you.
Bailey: No, you don't.
Webber: Your husband was discharged over an hour ago.
Bailey: I'm not here.
Webber: Go home. You're not working today, you're on maternity leave.
Bailey: Exactly.  
Cristina (to George): If you want crappy things to stop happening to you then stop accepting crap and demand something more.  
Burke: He's your friend, he need our help.
Cristina: Are his problems surgical?
Burke: No.
Cristina: Then technically he doesn't need our help.
Burke: You're a good person.
Cristina: I am not.  
Izzie (about George): Just so you know Meredith, If you can't make this right, if you can't fix this, and it comes down to choosing sides, I'm on his. (Walks away)
Cristina: He's the weaker kid. I mean, even I don't beat up on weaker kids, it's cheap.
Meredith: I did a terrible thing... I did a terrible thing.
Cristina: He's been in love with you since day one, there's no way you didn't know that.... We all do terrible things.
Meredith: Thank you.
Cristina: You're welcome.  
Derek (regarding Addison): You have to tell me where she is. I saved your husband.
Bailey: She saved my baby.
Derek: So baby trumps husband?
Bailey: Mmm-hmm.
Derek: Baby trumps husband?!  
George (Voiceover): What I'm saying is we reap what we sow. What goes around comes around. It's karma and anyway you slice it, karma sucks.  
George: I think there is a balance. Or there should be a balance.. There should be some sort of balance. That's all.
Preston Burke: Good God, O'Malley, What the hell did Grey do to you?  
Meredith (to Derek): I did a terrible thing.
Derek: We all do terrible things.
Meredith: No, I'm pretty sure i'm gonna lose all my friends.
Derek: You won't lose me.

2.20 -  Band Aid Covers the Bullet Hole

Meredith VoiceOver: As doctors, patients are always telling us how they'd do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and send me home. It’s easy to suggest a quick solution, when you don’t know much about the problem or you don’t understand the underlying cause or just how deep the wound is. The first step toward a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But that’s not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that led us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix.  
Alex (Seeing George’s new hair cut): What’s up with O’Malley’s hair? He looks like a hobbit.  
Meredith (To George, after she trapped him in the elevator): You’re trapped. And you don’t have to talk I’ll do the talking. (George is looking at the ceiling) George, I am truly very deeply, sorry. And I’m not going to make excuses (George is still looking at the ceiling) I’m just sorry. Look, I know you’re going to get off the elevator and walk away and not look back, I know that. But George, we’re friends. Real friends, and that means no matter how long (George is still looking up at the ceiling) it takes when you finally do decide to look back I’ll still be here. (Pause, George is still looking at the ceiling, the elevator stops, he gets off of it and leaves and doesn‘t look back)  
Cristina: Oh, please eat. Eat, I’m begging you to eat. Yummy food. Yummy. Bailey. Breast…milk food. Come on. (The baby keeps crying)
Burke (Walks up): Well, look at you.
Cristina: You find this amusing?
Burke: And you don’t?
Cristina (To baby): Come on. You know what? I can’t help you! I can’t help you! I cannot help you if you don’t wanna eat if you’re gonna keep on crying! (George walks up and takes the baby from her and he gets the baby to eat)  
Izzie: Did you talk to Meredith yet?
George: Tomorrow I’m gonna buy a t-shirt that says “Stop asking me about Meredith.” And I’m gonna wear it everyday until people stop asking me about Meredith.
Cristina (Sees Meredith coming) : Shhh! At least they won’t be asking you about your hair.  
(Still taking care of Bailey’s baby)
Cristina: Take him. Take him.
Izzie: No! Bailey gave him to you.
Cristina: She’s only going to be in surgery for another half hour, hour tops. Take him. Take him.
Izzie: You’re a liar and you also smell like vomit.
George: Really? Because I think it just smells like pooh.
Cristina: Okay, this is why some species eat their young.  
(Playing Scrabble)
Izzie: Screw. S-C-R-E-W. That’s 25 points thank you very much.
Denny: Wait a second, now you didn’t tell me we were playing naughty word scrabble.
Izzie(laughs): We’re not playing naughty word scrabble you just have a dirty mind.
Denny: Oh, it’s filthy but you’re the one who put down screw.
Izzie: I was referring to hardware, not sex.  
Izzie: What happened to George’s hair? Is he having a nervous break down?
Cristina: Burke says that he has issues. You should see them together like doing things like running and…cooking and talking, They’re like bonding.
Izzie: And you’re afraid that Burke will realize that he makes a better girlfriend than you?  
Callie: You didn’t call me.
George: I did---I did, a few times. I just hung up every time.
Callie: Nice…very stalker like. Goes with the hair.  
Derek: So your friends are they still mad about this very bad horrible thing you did?
Meredith: You mean the very horrible bad thing I won’t tell you about? Yes, they’re still upset.
Derek: Well, whatever it is, I don’t wanna know. Even if I beg, don’t tell me.  
(Changing Bailey’s baby’s diaper)
Cristina (Singing): A, b, c, d. (stops singing):Oh, gross.(Starts singing again) E, f, g, this really couldn’t suck any worse.
Webber (Appearing in the door way): Dr. Yang.
Cristina: Oh, Dr. Webber.
Webber: What’s that smell?
Cristina: Uh…it’s feces, it’s baby feces. We had an incident, sir.
Webber: Are you having trouble with the diaper, Yang?
Cristina: Sir. No, sir.
Webber: Because it looks like you’re having trouble with the diaper.
Cristina: No, sir, I’ve got a…I’ve got a MD from Stanford and a PHD from Berkley I can handle this diaper. Unless you want to?
Webber: Uh…n-no, no. It’s alright, it’s alright, you carry on.  

Cristina (To the crying baby): Shut it. Shut it. Shut it!
 
Callie (To George): So I scheduled the Mercer kid’s surgery for tomorrow afternoon. I assume you want it.
Cristina: Oh no, I want in. On a surgery, any surgery. I’ll do it.
Callie: Who are you?  
(After Callie was talking to George)
Cristina: Seriously?
George: Seriously.
Cristina: Do you think she has a couch that you can sleep on?  
Meredith (Voiceover): It's easy to suggest a quick solution when you don't know much about the problem, when you don't understand the underlying cause, or just how deep the wound really is.  
Meredith Voice Over: But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix.
(Derek lays on the bed and looks at Addison)
Addison: What?
Derek: I was indifferent. You know, in New York before Mark, I was just indifferent toward you.
Addison: Yes.
Derek: And I was absent.
Addison: Yes.
Derek: I'm part of the blame for what's happened to our marriage
Addison: Yeah.
Derek: I'm sorry. I'm working on it.
Addison: (Smiles) Okay.  
(Meredith has just told Derek that George won't listen to her appologies)
Derek: Do what I do... use the elevator.

2.21 -  Superstition

Izzie: I cannot fall for a patient.
Denny:[smiling] Oh. Well, good luck with that.
[She kisses him]  
Cristina: You don't have to follow me. [Walks up to Burke and hands him the cap]
Burke: Thank you. How long have you had this? It's one of my favorites.
Cristina: You know, you don’t need it. I keep that cap in my locker because every morning I look at it and I'm reminded of what I'm here for and what I want to be. A great surgeon. A surgeon who is decisive and executes and who doesn’t need a piece of clothing to give him an edge in surgery. You don't need it.
Burke: I know. You're right.
Cristina: I know I'm right.
[Walks off putting the cap on]  
Addison: Ah, Dr. Bailey. Here you go. (She hands her a cup)
Bailey: What’s this?
Addison: Hot cocoa. It’s a little ritual we had in New York. Four surgeries, four deaths, I figured we could all use a little good juju.
Bailey: And cocoa equals juju how?
Addison: Hey, hey, hey don’t question the cocoa.  
Cristina: The guy didn’t die because you weren’t wearing one of your caps.
Burke: Well, I know that. I just prefer wearing one of my one, it’s a comfort thing.
Cristina: Oh well…I prefer having George out of the apartment so I guess we both have comfort things.
Burke: Yang, what are you saying?
Cristina: Uh, you know, um, I have one of your caps in my locker.
Burke: Why do you have one of my caps?
Cristina: You know, that’s not the point, the point is um…I think I’m going to keep it hostage. So you kick baby out, and you’ll get your cap back.
Burke: Oh, I don’t do well with ultimatums.
Cristina: Maybe you should think of it more as a trade.  
(She catches him going through her locker and he finds her underwear)
Cristina: You’re a pervy little boy, George. And you’re not finding the cap.
George: I’ll do your dishes for a month.
Cristina: I don’t do dishes.
George: I’ll do your laundry.
Cristina: I don’t do laundry.
George: Maybe that’s why Burke likes having me around so much.
Cristina: Interesting. Interesting. Are you having sex with him?
George: No.
Cristina: Then he likes having me around more.  
(Izzie, walks up behind Cristina, grabs Cristina’s arm and pulls her in a room)
Cristina: Ow! Ow, you’re touching me.
Izzie: George says you have Burke’s scrub cap.
Cristina: So?
Izzie: Give it to him.
Cristina: No.
Izzie: Give it to him, Cristina!
Cristina: What is with you?
Izzie: He needs it to operate.
Cristina: No, he doesn’t. (She moves to walk away, and Izzie pushes her back)
Izzie: That isn’t your decision to make. Not when he’s going in on, Denny. Now are you gonna give it to him or am I gonna to physically take it from you?
Cristina (laughs nervously): Are you threatening me?
Izzie (Moving closer to her): I swear to god, Cristina, I like you. I really do. But I grew up in a trailer park and I’m not above kicking your pampered Beverly Hills ass. And I do mean, physically kicking your ass. (Cristina looks scared)  
George (After Callie sees him in the women’s bathroom on top of Cristina, trying to get Burke’s cap from her): Dr. Torres.
Callie: Dr. O’Malley, you’re aware that this is the women’s bathroom.
George: Yes, ma’am.
(Callie walks out of the bathroom)
Cristina: Dude, you called her ma’am she’s never gonna sleep with you now.  
Meredith: Burke has hat juju?
Cristina: Apparently.
Meredith: And you’re using it against him?
Cristina: Well, they’re forcing me to because of the clarinet playing, the running and all the breakfast food.  
Izzie: He’s on the phone with the laundry, they still can’t find his scrub caps.
George: That’s what I gotta tell him, Cristina won’t give hers back. Unless I’m ready to hit a woman. And even though it’s Cristina I’m not ready to cross that line.
Izzie: Wait! Cristina, has one of Burke’s scrub caps?
George: She’s holding it hostage, why do you think I’m stalking her?  
Meredith: I got hot chocolated. She-Shepherd hot chocolated me. It’s her juju.
Cristina: I don’t like people who say juju.  
(They are all standing in the ER and there are no patients around)
Cristina: Great. No blood, no guts, no lives to save. It’s dead quiet.
Bailey: Did you really just say that?
Izzie: Cristina!
Cristina: What?
George: You said the “Q” word.
Izzie: It’s like saying “MacBeth” in the theatre.
Cristina: Please. You think that when someone says it’s quiet that’ll mean--- (A person rushes in asking for help, and is followed by all of them being paged)  
Izzie: I talked to the morgue guy this morning.
Meredith: The one with the unibrow?
Izzie: The one with the teeth thing. And he said surgical fatalities come in 3’s and 7’s says that means that there’ll be three more by midnight.
Cristina: Ooh, okay then since dead tooth morgue guy said so.
Izzie: He’s the morgue guy. He, like, knows things about death.  
George: Can I have a bite of that?
Cristina: No. You’re in my apartment, you don’t get to be in my food.
George: Dr. Burke gave me a protein bar this morning.
Cristina (To Meredith): He packs his lunch for him, did I mention?  
Izzie: What did you say to him?
Alex: Who?
Izzie: You know who. What the hell, why does Denny think he’s dying?
Alex: Well, maybe because there is a good chance that he is.
Izzie: Just so we’re clear, we’re over, Alex. This isn’t working.
Alex: You’re breaking up with me over a corpse.
Izzie: No! No, I’m breaking up with you because on your very best day…that corpse is twice the man that you will ever be. You’re not good enough for me, Alex. You’re not good enough for any woman.  
Alex: O’Malley, you are a sad excuse for a man.
George: Excuse me?
Alex: I know you heard me. You’re like a whiney little girl.
Meredith: Alex!
Alex: You know why he’s not speaking to you because he’s not over you. (Turns to George) Man, you got laid, it went badly, a man would move on but you, you mope around this place like a dog that likes to get kicked. You make me sick. And if it wouldn’t get me kicked out of the program I’d smash your pathetic little face right (hits locker) into that locker.  
Meredith: How's your guy?
Cristina: Brain's bleeding. Needs surgery. You wanna know why? 'Cuz he couldn't move his car until he stopped counting.
Meredith: My girl--ruptured spleen--won't have surgery because of her horoscope.
Cristina: Oh, well, we should introduce them. They'd make a nice crazy couple.  
Bailey: Poor girl's going to kill herself trying not to die.

2.22 -  The Name of the Game

Cristina is mad at Burke because during their game yesterday he couldn’t guess Madonna)
Cristina: Who doesn’t know Madonna?
Izzie (Sneezes, and muffles what she said): Sore loser.
Cristina: I am not a sore loser. You know, and so what if I am? The whole point of games is that there is a winner, a first place. You want a second best surgeon operating on you? (Meredith and Izzie shake their heads in agreement, but keep knitting) No, you want the very best. (Meredith and Izzie nod in agreement but still keep knitting) And second best is mediocre and to settle for mediocrity is--- is frankly a sign self-loathing and sub-standard work ethics. (She sits down and sighs) I’ve got to get George out of my apartment.
Meredith: You know, you could sleep with him and then right in the middle start crying and that’s painful and humiliating and unbelievably cruel but apparently it works.
Izzie: Would you just keep knitting? (To Cristina) Kick him out so he can come back home to us.
Cristina: I-- I can’t kick him out, he’s Burke’s puppy it’s gotta be Burke’s idea. I just gotta figure out a way to make him do it.  
Derek: Ah, Doctor Bailey, do you have an extra intern?
Bailey: I’m available.
Derek: No, no, no, no. I said “intern”.
Bailey: Shepherd, look at the board.
Derek (Looking at the board): Okay, what am I looking at?
Bailey: My name isn’t up there. It wasn’t up there yesterday and won’t be tomorrow.
Derek: What’d you do piss off the Chief?
Bailey: Yeah I pissed off the Chief. I went and had a baby, I gave birth, I created a human life. I’m a surgeon, we don’t do that. He’s mommy tracking me.
Derek: He’s just going easy on you.
Bailey: No, I change diapers, I-- I clean up spit up. I sing the ABC’s. I am covered in mommy. But that does not mean