Izzie(To Meredith): Why are you back here tonight? You don't have a date with McDreamy?
George: More like, McMarried.

Italiano:
Izzie:Perchè sei tornata qui stasera?Non avevi un appuntamento con Stranamore?
George:Meglio dire Strasposato

Meredith: Lets play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win.
Cristina: You don't wanna play with me.
Meredith: Oh, I do. I'll even go first. Derek is married.
(George spits his beer out)
Cristina: George, beer is dripping from your nostrils.
(He walks off to the bathroom)
Meredith: Told ya I'd win.
Cristina: No, you didn't win.
Meredith: Did you hear me? I said Derek is married, as in pig-headed adulterous liar married. Nothing you could say could top that.
Cristina: I'm pregnant. I win.
(Joe collaspses)
Cristina: Ok, maybe Joe wins.

Italiano:
Meredith:Giochiamo a chi ha la vita più schifosa
Vincerò io.Vinco sempre.
Cristina:Beh, non puoi giocare con me.
Meredith:Oh, sì che posso.
Inizierò addirittura per prima.Derek è sposato.
Cristina:George, la birra ti sta colando dal naso.
Te l'ho detto che avrei vinto.
Cristina:No, non hai vinto.
Meredith:Mi hai sentito?Ho detto che Derek è sposato.
E' un testardo, adultero, bugiardo uomo sposato.
Nulla di ciò che dirai potrà battermi.
Cristina:Sono incinta.Vinco io.
Cristina:Joe, stai bene?Okay, forse vince Joe.

Meredith: What was I to you? The girl you screwed to get over being screwed?
Derek: You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. It's all I know.
Meredith: It's not enough.

Italiano:
Derek: tu sei stata ossigeno puro per me, stavo annegando e mi hai salvato. Ti sembra poco?
Meredith: Non mi sembra abbastanza.

(Alex keeps asking Izzie who patients are)
Izzie: You have been treating these people for the last week, how can you not know their names?
Alex: Surgery is the only speciality where we don't waste time getting to know the patients. They're slabs of meat, we're butchers.
Izzie: They're human beings. You do know what a human being is don't you Evil Spawn?
Alex: I'm not evil. Unless evil turns you on.
(Izzie gives him a look)
Izzie: Did you ever wake up in the morning and realize that nobody likes you, and... well, I don't know, care?
Alex: Oh, oh, I think somebody likes me.
(Izzie rolls her eyes and sighs)
Italiano:

Izzie:Curi queste persone da una settimana.
Come fai a non ricordarti i loro nomi?
Alex:La chirurgia è l'unica specializzazione dove non sprechiamo tempo a conoscere i pazienti.
Sono pezzi di carne, è noi siamo i macellai.
Izzie:Sono esseri umani.Lo sai cosa significa essere umano,
vero, creatura del male?
Alex:Non sono cattivo.Finché il male non ti salta addosso.
Izzie:Ti sei mai alzato la mattina...
ralizzando che non piaci a nessuno e, che so, che nessuno tiene a te?
Alex:Oh.Penso di piacere a qualcuno.

Meredith: After all this time, all your warnings about me sleeping with my boss and you're doing the same exact thing.
Cristina: Oh, it's not the same thing.
Meredith: It's the exact same!
Cristina: No, it's not. You and McDreamy are in a relationship.
Meredith: And you and Burke are in?
Cristina: Switzerland. It's very neutral there and they make very nice watches.

Italiano:
Meredith:Tutto questo tempo, tutti i tuoi avvertimenti riguardo l'andare a letto con il mio capo.
e poi tu stai facendo la stessa identica cosa?
Cristina:Non è la stessa cosa.
Meredth:E' esattamente la stessa!
CristinaTu e il Dr. Stranamore avete una relazione.
Meredith:E tu e Burke siete...
... in Svizzera.
E' molto neutrale lì. Fanno anche bellissimi orologi.

Burke: Who is Dr. McDreamy?
Bailey (Takes a long stare at Derek): I'm Dr. McDreamy. I'm tall, I'm handsome, I like to lean against things, ponder the difficulties of datin' beautiful women...
I'm trying to be a surgeon here!

Italiano:
Burke:Chi accidenti è il dr. Stranamore?
Bailey:Io. Sono io il Dr. Stranamore.Sono alto e bello.
Mi piace appoggiarmi alle cose,
ponderare le difficoltà ad uscire con donne meravigliose.
Hey, sto cercando di fare il chirurgo, qui!

(After Webber tells George to be his eyes and ears)
George: (talking to himself) Oh, hi, chief. Nope, not much going on, well, other than your intern chief making out with my friend in the stairwell, but hey... sponge duty sucks.
Meredith: (walks up beside him) Talking to yourself now?
George: Yes. No. (pause) Damn it. I'm a bad sponge. A leaky sponge. I'm gonna leak all the wrong secrets. I'm a bad liar. I can't even lie about talking to myself. You look nice today.
Meredith: I wore my new lip gloss because my ex
-boyfriend's wife looks like Isabelle freakin' Rossellini and I'm like...me.

Italiano:
George:Ma, hey, essere una spugna fa schifo.
Meredith:Parli da solo adesso?
George:Si.No!Dannazione. Sono una pessima spugna, una spugna che cola.
Spiffererò tutti i segreti solo perché sono un pessimo bugiardo.
Non so mentire nemmeno parlando a me stesso.
Stai davvero bene oggi.
Meredith:Ho messo il mio nuovo rossetto.
Perché la moglie del mio ex-ragazzo assomiglia maledettamente ad Isabella Rossellini,
ed io assomiglio a... me.

Alex: You don't want to go to County. I mean here they know how to kill you and
bring you back, but at County they just know how to kill you.

Italiano:
Alex:Oh, tu non vuoi andare al County.
Voglio dire, qui sanno come ucciderti e poi farti resuscitare.
Ma al County, sanno solo come ucciderti.

Meredith: You're sleeping with someone?
George: What? Who?
Cristina: Why is that such a shock? Even George managed to get some action.
George: Correction, George got some syphilis.

Italiano:
Meredith:Vai a letto con qualcuno?
George:Cosa? Chi?
Cristina:Perché sei così scioccata? Persino George è entrato in azione.
Correzione. George si è beccato la sifilide.

Meredith puts her arm around Cristina)
Cristina: You realize this constitutes hugging?
Meredith: Shut up...I'm your person.

Italiano:
Cristina:Lo sai che questo è un abbraccio?
Meredith:Zitta.
Sono la persona di cui hai bisogno.

Derek: That took a lot of nerve,
Addison: Oh, come on.
Derek: Requesting Meredith...
Addison: She came highly recommended.
Derek: Right.
Addison: So you don't recommend her?
Derek: I did not say that.
Addison: Just not for your medical skills.
Derek: Oh, would you shut up.
(Meredith walks up)
Meredith: Dr. Shepherd.
Derek & Addison: Yes.

Italiano:
Derek:Ti ci è voluto molto sangue freddo a richiedere Meredith.
Addison:Oh, dai. Sono in molti a raccomandarla.
Derek:Giusto.
Addison:Allora tu non l'hai raccomandata?
Derek:No, non ho detto questo.
Addison:Non solo per le sue capacità di medico.
Derek:Oh, vuoi stare zitta?
Meredith:Dr. Shepherd?
Derek & Addison:Si.

George: You know Joe?
Bailey: Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me except Joe. He knew me.
George: Oh, so you and Joe?
Bailey: All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants.
You nasty. (She slaps him, and Izzie laughs) That's why you got syphilis.
Conosce Joe?

Italiano:
George:conosce Joe?
Bailey:Oh, sì. Ero l'unica femmina praticante del mio corso.
Non conoscevo nessuno, e nessuno mi conosceva eccetto Joe.
Mi conosceva.
George:Allora lei e Joe...
Bailey:Pensate sempre a come fare per entrare nelle mutande di qualcuno.
Sei maligno.Ecco perché ti sei beccato la sifilide.

Burke: You don't want to go out to dinner,
you don't want to meet me in the on-call room
and you sure as hell don't want to talk to me.
I could pretend I know, but hey, I don't even have your home phone number.
So tell me - what do you want?

Italiano:
Non vuoi uscire a cena.
Non vuoi incontrarmi nel dormitorio e
sono maledettamente sicuro che non vuoi parlarmi.
Potrei fingere lo so, ma, hey
non ho neanche il tuo numero di telefono.
Allora dimmi, cosa vuoi?!

2.02 -  Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)

(After seeing Derek and Burke argue)
Cristina (To Meredith): Mine's bigger than yours.
Alex: Whip it out, I'll measure.
Cristina: Shut up, Alex.

(Meredith is lying on the bathroom floor and Cristina is lying in the bathtub)
Meredith: It's not us, it's them, them and their stupid boy...penises! They didn't tell me they had a wife, they gave me absolutely no warning that they were gonna break up with you.
Cristina: It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it's business, like it's a business transacti--like he's the boss of me.
Meredith: He is the boss of you.

Meredith: Penises.(Izzie and George walk in the bathroom) Penises, Izzie.
Cristina: Estrogen, George.
(She holds out a cup and Izzie puts water in it)
George(To Izzie): Okay. What'd I miss?
Izzie: I came home to full out vomit drama. Apparently, she dumped Derek. And her, she's been sleeping with Burke.
George: I knew that. (turns to Meredith) So, you really broke up with Shepherd?
Meredith: I feel empty.
Izzie: Yeah, two hours of vomiting will do that to ya.
Meredith: No, I feel empty.
Cristina: You're lucky, I feel pissed off.

Richard (To George): Call three times a day.
Adele: Do not call three times a day.
Richard: And if my wife doesn't put you through--
Adele: I won't put you through.
Richard: Keep calling until she does.
George: Yes, sir.

(Looking at the xray of the guy who swallowed ten Judy doll heads)
Burke: Drugs?
Meredith: Ten Judy dolls heads.
Burke: Seriously?
Meredith: Yes.
Patricia: I can see their little faces "Help, let me out."

Adele: Derek, don't you know that this hospital will crumble unless Richard is here holding up the walls.
Richard: Adele. You're supposed to be in the Virgin Islands.
Adele: Oh, you are in five-kinds of trouble, Mr. Man.(Kisses his cheek) You had brain surgery and didn't tell me.
Richard: Well, it's just a small pro--procedure.
Adele: It was brain surgery.
Richard: Well, I didn't wanna ruin your vacation.
Adele: You don't know what a vacation is, how would you know how to ruin it?
Richard: Well, anyway, how did you find---(turns to Derek) You called my wife?
Derek: You called mine.

(Addison shows up in the doorway)
Addison: I thought I saw a fablous looking woman walk by.
Adele(walks over and hugs her): Addison, hey. (Derek gives Webber a look) I told Richard I knew you and Derek would get back together.
Addison: Uh...actually, I'm here on a case--
Derek: Addison, and I are over Adele.
Addison: It's not like we're divorced.
Derek: Practically divorced.
Adele (to Addison): You've had counselling?
Derek: We've had adultery, that was enough.
 
Cristina: When we're feeling emotional sometimes it's hard to keep a level head and consider all the facts.

Mrs. Webber: Being Chief is a lot like being an intern; the work never stops.

Addison: Dr. Grey, can I speak with you for a moment?
(Meredith looks at Bailey)
Bailey: Don't look at me for help.
(Addison and Meredith walk away)
Addison: I assume he told you why he left me.
Meredith(Sighs): Dr. Shepherd, with all due respect, this has nothing to do with me.
Addison: Really? So you didn't take him back? Good girl.
Meredith: And in the future, I'd appreciate it if we'd keep our relationship strictly professional.
Addison: Meredith, sometimes people do desperate things to get someone's attention. There are two sides to every story.

Cristina: Love has its limits.

Derek: Just when the day was improving.
Addison: You told Meredith what happened.
Derek: I did. What'd you tell her?
Addison: Sometimes people do desperate things to attract attention.
Derek: Wow, that's your side of this? That I didn't pay you enough attention? Is that what you were thinking when you got naked with my best friend?
Addison: Well, at that point, I wasn't thinking at all, Derek, I was just scratching an itch. We got succesful, you and me. We got busy and we got lazy. We didn't even bother to fight anymore, Derek, and Mark was there and I missed you and now I'm sorry. I'm more sorry than you could possibly imagine, but at least I'm talking to you about it.
Derek: I'm a sink with an open drain, Addy.

Meredith: I am a sink with an open drain. Anything you say runs straight out.
George: She probably could have picked a better metaphor.
Izzie: Give her a break, she's got a hangover.

2.03 -  Make Me Lose Control

Addison: I'm letting go of the pre-me, you know that. He calls me Satan, Richard.
Webber: You don't like to hide from a fight.
Addison: It's not a fight, he wins. I'm leaving in the morning.

Bailey: You have a problem?
Izzie: No.
Bailey: You have a mocha-latte?
Izzie: No.
Bailey: Then go away.

Bailey: Izzie, the Dr. Shepherds need an intern up in NICU.
Izzie: Wait, both of them? Together? And me by myself...w-with the two married people, who hate each other?
Bailey: Go.

Derek: Nice hat.
Richard: Shut up.
Derek: What are you doin' here?
Richard: I'm going back to work.
Derek: You're not cleared for surgery.
Richard: Leave me alone, Derek. I've been sitting home for a week watching Oprah give away things on T.V. Oprah, Derek! You clear me now or I'll hurt you.
Derek: If you want me to clear you, you should have thought about that before you gave chief to Burke. And before you invited Satan to Seattle.
Richard: Satan?
(Addison gets in the evelvator)
Addison: Good morning. Richard, I like the hat.
Derek (addressing Dr. Webber): Satan speaks.
Addison: Actually, I prefer to be called Ruler of All That Is Evil.(Richard laughs) But I will answer to Satan.
 

Meredith: It's not okay. You have a wife who's not easy to hate, who's annoyingly kind and painfully smart, and currently saving my friend's life.

Izzie: It's just you think, you think you know someone, know who they are. You share a house and make wishes on eyelashes with them and we don't know each other, none of us. We're just a bunch of interns who work together. There's nothing there.

(After examining a baby)
Derek: She's just gonna live a short painful life.
Addison: You don't know that.
Derek: It's my job to know that.
Addison: You're not god, Derek.
Derek: Excuse me.
Addison: I'm sorry, honey, but you're not. You don't get to decide who lives--
Derek: Wait, did you just call me "honey"? Don't call me "honey".
Addison: Fine. You're not god, Dr. Shepherd. Look, if the patient has any chance to live, which I think she does, then you have a responsiblity---
Derek: Don't talk to me about responsibilty.
Addison: You took an oath, Derek.
Derek: An oh, don't you dare talk to me about oaths.
Addison: Derek, I messed up. People mess up,
Derek: You slept with my best friend on my favorite sheets.
Addison: The flannel sheets? You hate the flannel sheets.
Derek: I love the sheets. I did.
Addison: You like the italian sheets with the little paslies--
Derek: Will you just stop talking about the sheets?
Addison: Fine!
Izzie: I'm sorry, I'm just gonna go check on the labs. (walks away)

 Derek: She's too far gone, you have to let her go, let her go in peace. (walks away)
Addison: Derek, please, she needs somebody to fight for her.
(He leaves.)
Addison: Fine Derek, walk away - it's what you do best.

Ellis: What the hell are you doing here! Haven't I told you, how many times have I told you not to bother me when I'm at work!

Addison: You know, the way I see it, we could deal with us, in one of three ways. Option one, I could apologize, you could forgive me, come home and we can move on with our lives like adults. Or option two, I could apologize, you could forgive me, come home, but you could still bring it up to use against me whenever we argue.
Derek: Are you trying to be funny?
Addison: Satan has a sense of humor.
Derek: What's the third?
Addison: I don't know what the third option is. (kisses him) I just know I still love you.

Alex: You could talk, you know if you need to.
Meredith: I'm fine.
Alex: You've said that word so many times today, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. I'm just saying you can talk to me cause, you know, even if I repeat every word you say no one around here likes me - they'd just call me a liar and move on.
Meredith: Izzie likes you. (smiles) You're blushing.
Alex: Shut up.

Meredith: How's Cristina?
Izzie(sighs): She's gonna have a lotta pain for a few days, but she's gonna be ok.
Meredith: I'm glad you were there.
Izzie: Are you?
Meredith: Yes, I am.
Izzie: It's just---it's just that alot of the time, I feel like you and Cristina are kinda over there and I'm here.
Meredith: So, about Alex--
Izzie: I know, I know, you guys hate him, fine.
(George groans)
Meredith: Yeah, we do but I just wanna say that I believe you - that he's different when you get to know him.

(Cristina and Meredith are jogging in the park.)
Cristina: (breathing heavily) Oh, you're stupid. Oh, god, you're stupid evil sadist, and I wanna kill you.
Meredith: Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators. This is supposed to make us feel better.
Cristina: Do you feel better?
(Cristina stops running and Meredith runs circles around her.)
Cristina: Slutty mistress.
Meredith Pregnant whore.
Cristina: Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea!
(Meredith stops running now.)
Meredith: You know what's ruined for me?
Cristina: Huh?
Meredith: Ferry boats. I used to love ferry boats. Derek's got a thing for ferry boats, and now every time I see a freakin' ferry boat--
Cristina: You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery and aortic aneurysms. God, I used to love aortic aneurysms.
 
Meredith: What kind of person wishes her mother has cancer.

Alex: Wait.
Izzie: What?
Alex: You have an eyelash. (places eyelash on palm) Make a wish and blow it away. speaking to other nurse Hey, nurse rachet, there's a dead guy stinking up room 4125. Do something before he rots.
Izzie (walking away): See, that is exactly what I'm talking about. Why are you so afraid of showing people you are a decent human being?
George (walking up): Remember when he wallpapered the hospital with pictures of you in your underwear?
Izzie: Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Alex: It was before I knew you.

Cristina: Meredith... leave the sarcasm up to me.. really.. it doesn't suit you.

Meredith: If there's an upside to freefalling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.

Izzie: How can someone be so offensive and yet so charming all at the same time?
Alex: It's an art form.

Meredith (to Derek): And you? Hating you is the most exhausting. (kisses him) I don't want to do it anymore.

George: (Acting as Thatcher) I don't like the way you speak to me and I really hate the way you speak to Meredith; she deserves better from you.
Ellis: I . . . I'm sorry.
George: You are?

Meredith: (to Derek) Stop talking to me like you're my boyfriend. Stop talking to me at all! (storms out)
Alex: Dude, that was rough.

George: Cristina's pregnant?
Izzie: Shut up, George.
George: This is a very bad day.

George: I look like Meredith's dad?
Webber: Just take good care of her. (walks away)
George: But . . . dad? I need help.

Burke: (to Webber) I'm glad that you're back. I'm just hiding my joy. Deep down inside.

Bailey: Take care of Doctor Grey.
George: Yes. Thank you. (hugs Bailey) She needs a friend right now. (Bailey kicks him out) Oh... her mother.

Cristina: Can I have the hateful married couple instead?

Izzie: Why do you do that?
Alex: Do what?
Izzie: Act like an ass whenever I'm around. I hate you enough as it is.

Cristina (watching Izzie with Alex): What is she doing?
George: She's hanging out with Alex.
Cristina: (pause) Why?

Meredith: Surgeons are control freaks.

2.04 -  Deny, Deny, Deny

Addison: Look, I don't want someone, who doesn't want me, Meredith, but if there is the slightest chance that he does...I'm not leaving Seattle.

Derek: You accepted a consult from Addison Shepherd?
Bailey: Montgomery Shepherd, isn't it?
Derek: The point is she should be on her way home, your trying to drive me crazy aren't you?(Bailey stops the elevator)
Derek (in a whiny voice): Hey, now don't do this...ugh...
Bailey: You think this has something to do with you? You think I'm even thinking about you and your romantic problems? I'm thinking about a patient, very near and dear to my heart. And a consult with your wife, your ex, mistress whatever it is that she becomes if that's what I have to do to save my patient then I'm damn well gonna do it.
Derek: I understand that. I deserved that. It's just that--come on--
Bailey: Look, you have put yourself between two very fine women and you're lookin' for an easy way out. And you wanna use me, the hospital, somebody to make the decision for ya and it's not gonna happen!(She starts the elevator)
Derek: Could I--Could--I just say a couple things?
Bailey: Just just---(waves hand by his face)

George: I don't know why I'm worried, Cristina says she's fine.
Izzie: Nobody goes through what she went through and is totally over it by now.
George: Cristina can.
Meredith: She's funny.
Izzie: Too funny, she's cold.
George: No, she's hardcore, got ice in her veins, she does what she has to, to get through.

Helen (Cristina’s Mother): The daughter I raised would appreciate her mother’s help.
Cristina: The daughter you raised is begging for you to go. Now!

Alex: Nice panties Yang.
Cristina: In your dreams, evil spawn!

Derek: Meredith kissed me, Addison kissed me. My wife and my girlfriend kissed me, on the same day.
Bailey: Joe, do I look friendly to you?
Joe: Oh, you're a tiny little kitten of joy and love. (She gives him a look) What? You saved my life.
Bailey: First mistake. McDreamy, go sit by someone who cares.
Derek: Everything's gonna be fine. Addison'll go back to New York, me and Meredith will start over. Everything's gonna be fine, right?
Bailey: You so damn stupid.

Meredith: (Voiceover) Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. It's a freaking ocean.

Addison: Well, isn't this cozy. Can I join in or are you not in to threesomes?
Meredith: I have to go.
(Meredith walks away.)
Derek: Meredith... (to Addison) You really are Satan, you realize that, right? If Satan were to take physical form, he'd be you, everywhere all the time.
Addison: I am so not Satan.
Derek: How come you haven't gotten on your broomstick and gone back to New York where you belong?
Addison: Stop being petty.
Derek: Stop being an adulterous bitch.
Addison: You know, you are gonna forgive me, right? I mean you can't just-- I mean there was a time where you thought of me as your best friend.
Derek: There was a time where I thought of you as the love of my life. Things change. (Addison pulls out papers.) Divorce papers.
Addison: Your lawyer said that they were okay. I haven't signed them. The ball's in your court. If you sign 'em, I'll sign. Sign and be on the first plane outta here.
Derek: I'l sign 'em immediately. I want you outta here as soon as possible.
Addison: Derek, have you ever thought that even if I am an adulterous bitch and Satan, that I still might be the love of your life?

Cristina: I will kill her!
Helen: But I am her mother.
Meredith: We don't do well with mothers here. Why don't you leave and come back later.

George: You're officially AWOL you know.
Cristina: I'm working. I'm trying to figure out what's going on with the crazy woman on four.
George: You are the crazy woman on four.
Cristina: I made a break for freedom.

Male Nurse: Ok Yang, how about this order: bed rest, out of bed to chair, bathroom privileges. Nothing about stealing charts at the nurses station.
Cristina: Ok, you know what (signals to man pushing a wheelchair) Hey, hey, hey, hey give me that. (Sits down) There, satisfied? I'm out of bed to chair.
Male Nurse: I'm telling your intern on you.
Cristina: Meredith?
Male Nurse: Yeah.
Cristina: (Mockingly) Oh, I'm so scared.

Cristina: (crying uncontrollably) Make it stop, Make it stop. Somebody sedate me!

2.05 - Bring The Pain

Cristina: So here's where we are: I work too much, I'm competitive, I'm always right, and I snore.
Burke: What?
Cristina: I'm trying here.

Bailey: How's your patient? The one that got her soul back?
Derek: She's gonna be fine.
(A guy taps on the window)
Bailey: I gotta go.
Derek: Look at you, you look like a girl. Is that your date?
Bailey: It's my husband.
Derek: You're married?
Bailey: Ten years today.
Derek: How come I didn't know you were married?
Bailey: You never asked.

Derek: You paged me?
Bailey: Porn as pain management?!
Derek (smiles): You met, Henry. Yeah, there are a lot of different theories as how to treat pain.
Bailey: Porn as pain management?!
Derek: Look, it's possible that pornography like art and music can stimulate the brain that produce endorphins that minimize pain
Bailey: Porn as pain management?
Derek: I didn't prescribe it. It wasn't me. Take it up with the treating physician.
Bailey: If that man turns out to be some sort of sex weirdo it's on you that's all I'm saying.

(After they got the elevators doors open a little)
Bailey: What did you two do?
Alex & George: Nothing!

Addison: Lightning hit a substation, we're working on back up generators, one of them is down. Richard...breathe.
Richard: The only means of transporting patients from the E.R. to the O.R. isn't working. Don't tell me to breathe, I'll breathe if I wanna breathe.

(Talking about their relationship)
Burke: So where are we?
Cristina: The northeast corner of a hospital.

Cristina: Don't tell anyone I did this for you. You tell anyone I did this for you, I will sell your body parts for cash!
(Henry Lamont nods)
Cristina: OK. So. There were these women. Nurses. Three nurses. And they were...naughty. They were really really naughty. They were three naughty nurses. Saucy, even. Saucy and bad and naughty. Three saucy bad naughty nurses. They were taking a shower. Together. Soaping each other up. And then this doctor walks in and he sees these three naughty bad nurses with these great big...

(scene cut)

Cristina: "Oh yes, I'm so very very naughty!" Bianca said as she dropped her stethoscope. "Me too!" said Crystal as she snapped on her surgical glove, and then there was Marta.
(Bailey walks past room and stares, Cristina shrugs.)
Cristina: Where was I?
Henry: Marta.
Cristina: Oh yes, Marta. She was the naughtiest nurse of all because she knew how...
(Power returns, TV comes on)

George: We're not in Kansas anymore.

George: (Reading the emergency sign on the elevator out loud after it got stuck) If elevator should stop do not become alarmed. Press the button marked alarm to summon assistance. (Looks at Alex) If they don’t want us to be alarmed why do they call the button “alarm”?

( Meredith, Cristina and Izzie are leaning over the balcony at the hospital)
Meredith: You should take something.
Cristina: Drugs are for babies.
Izzie: I hate Alex.
Cristina: And the non sequitur award goes to…
Izzie: I’m sorry, but I hate Alex.
Meredith: I broke up with Derek.
Cristina: Burke wants to have a relationship.
Izzie: Boys are stupid.
Cristina: Yep.

Alex: So, dude. What’s the deal with Izzie?
George: She shaved her legs for you.
Alex: And?
George: And you didn’t kiss her goodnight.
Patient: She shaved her legs for you and you didn’t follow through?
Alex: Hey I followed through, I always follow through.
George: You didn’t last night.
Alex: Mind your own business.
George: Mind… She had expectations, women have expectations and you didn’t meet them. Hey I live with these women and every time you guys don’t meet their expectations I have to hear about it. So it is my business.
(Alex, George and the patient are in the elevator when it stops)
Alex: Dude, we’re not moving.
George: Really, ya think?

(Derek speaking to Meredith)
Derek: Look I was married for 11 years. Addison is my family. That is 11 Thanksgiving’s, birthdays, and 11 Christmas’s and in one day I am supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family? A person doesn’t do that, not without a little hesitation. I’m entitled to a little uncertainty here. Just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment of painful doubt and a little understanding from you would be nice.

(Cristina is presenting a patient and he turns on porn)
Cristina: Is that--
Marie: Porn.
Bailey: Porn? (Looks at TV) As in porn!
Alex: What are you watching?
Bailey: Karav, go stand in the hall. Uh..Mr. and Mrs. Lamont, I'm sure you're really... nice people and what you do in the privacy of your own home... look, we can't have porn in here. This is a hospital.
Henry: It's for my pain. My doc says it releases endorphins in the brain and it helps keep my pain at a managable level.
George (stunned, and not taking his eyes off the TV): Really?
Bailey: George, hall.
Izzie: What is this?
Marie: Um... "Nasty Naughty Nurses..." (looks at TV) "...4".
(Meredith, Izzie and Cristina all turn their heads to view the porn better)
Cristina: That does not look comfortable.
Meredith: Trust me, it’s not.
(Cristina and Izzie look at Meredith)
Bailey (snaps fingers): Get in the hall.

(Izzie opens George's bedroom door and turns on the light and wakes him up)
Izzie: Seriously! Move over.(She gets into the bed)
George: Ugh, I'm sleeping.
Izzie: Oh, shut it.
George: Shut--(turns over and goes to sleep)
(Scene cut, then Meredith comes into his room)
Meredith: Seriously!
George: This is a very small bed.
Meredith: He is a brain surgeon.
Izzie: I look fantastic. I shaved my legs.
Meredith: He’s a brain surgeon. How can he be so brainless?
Izzie: Seriously.
Meredith: Seriously.
George: Shhhh. (pats them both on the shoulder)Go to sleep.

Meredith: You didn’t sign the divorce papers. Fine, I get it. End of discussion.
Derek: Meredith.
Meredith: What!
Derek: Oh… I usually just say “Meredith” and then you yell at me. I haven’t thought past that point. I actually didn’t have anything planned. (Meredith starts hitting him with her purse) Ow, what is that? Stop it.
Meredith: Seriously? Seriously!

Izzie: I had a good time, thank you. It was the perfect evening, best date ever, ever.
Alex: Izzie…
Izzie: I especially liked the part where you treated me like crap the entire evening, That was fun.
Alex: I had a good time.
Izzie: Really?
Alex: Yeah.
(She moves into kiss him but he backs away)
Alex: I gotta go.
Izzie: Seriously! Seriously!

Izzie: Poor George, he doesn't have the steadiest hands.
Bailey : Izzie, he can hear you.

(Meredith is at Emerald City Bar waiting for Derek)
Meredith: He's not coming.(Looks at Izzie) You don't think he's coming.
Izzie: He might come.
Cristina: Yeah, you never know.
George: He's definately coming!(Izzie and Cristina kick him) Ow. What? Do you want her doing tequila shots all night? I'll be the one cleaning up the vomit.(Looks at Cristina) Besides, I touched a heart today, Porny.

Meredith: Okay... here it is. Your choice, it's simple her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But, Derek, I love you... in a really, really big... pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I'll be at Joe's tonight, so if you do decide to sign the papers... meet me there.

2.06 -  Into You Like A Train

(About Addison)
Meredith: So she yelled at you?
Alex: Fine. She's Satan's whore.

Derek: She asked me to tell you...She wanted you to know, that if love were enough...that if love were enough, that she'd still be here with you.

(Derek walks in and nods towards Meredith)
George: Does that mean he picked her?
Cristina: If it does I just lost 50 bucks.

Addison: Have you made a decision yet Dr. Stevens?
Izzie: I'm sorry?
Addison: Whether or not you hate me. You're Meredith's friend and I'm the wicked witch that came in and ruined her life and cheat on Dr. Mc--- Wait. What is it that you guys call him?
Izzie: McDreamy.
Addison: Right. God, doesn't that embarass him?
Izzie: Yeah. I think it does.
Addison: Yeah, by all rights you should hate me.
Izzie: Yes.
Addison: Except I'm going to be staying in town for awhile.
Izzie: You are?
Addison: Yes. And you show a real gift with my specialty. And I have a lot to teach, if you wanna learn. So...
Izzie: So...?
Addison: So...when you decide how important it is for you to hate me, let me know.

Derek: Dr. Grey.
Bailey: Dr. Grey needs to get herself a blood alcohol test before practicing any medicine tonight.
Meredith: What? No, I'm totally fine. Look, (Touches her finger to her nose, a few times) Totally fine.
(Bailey gives Derek a look)
Derek: Right, okay.(He walks away)
Meredith: I'm fine!
Bailey: Regretting that last shot about now aren't you?

Derek(Seeing Meredith with the banana bag): What happened?
Meredith: Tequila.

(Meredith is still drunk)
Meredith: Ow. Ow. Ow.
(Izzie pulls back the curtainn)
Izzie: What are you doing?
Meredith: Trying to insert my banana bag which sounds vaguely dirty, but it isn't.

Bailey: Alex, cover the ER. You can do sutures while you get over your new found fear of scalpels.
Meredith: That was mean. Even for you.
Bailey: You are drunk. Go find yourself a banana bag IV, put it in your arm and then find me. Do not speak to anymore patients, do not practice any medicine.
Meredith: Well should I just go home?
Bailey: Well, unless you drank the whole liquor bottle, you'll be sober in a few hours. And the IV fluids will head off your hangover. Then you can assist with the may mangled victims you see before you. And besides, if I'm not going home, nobody's going home. 10 years of marriage and I didn't even get to finish my damn lobster.

(Cristina, Izzie and George are at a table playing darts, and Meredith is at the bar drinking)
Cristina: You tell someone to meet you at a bar later tonight, how long does that mean you're supposed to wait?
George: Do you really think he's not coming?
Izzie: It is getting a little hard to watch.
Cristina: It was getting hard to watch an hour ago, now it's just pathetic.
Meredith: Who's pathetic?
Cristina: What?
Meredith: You who pretend to be my friends, are calling me pathetic. Behind my back. In front of my face! (George points to Cristina) Why don't you just dump the pigs blood on me now and get it over with?

Cristina: You're my boyfriend! I mean, I know I don't have much experience with this kind of thing but, aren't boyfriends supposed to help in situations like this?
Burke: Cristina, when we're on duty I can't be your boyfriend.
Cristina: Ok, so when we're on duty, I can have sex with someone else?
Burke: Dr. Yang, I'm walking away now.

Meredith: You operated on a heart earlier, George. You'd think you could draw a little blood.
George: I rocked that heart.
Meredith: Yeah, you did!
George: I think I'm strung out on the scalpel.

Meredith: So basically whoever you move doesn't stand a chance.
(Bailey, McDreamy, Burke and George fall silent.)
Meredith: So how do you choose? How do you decide who gets to live?

(Derek gives Meredith a nod)
George: Was that a nod?
Meredith: Yes.
George: Do we know what it meant?
Meredith: No.

Meredith: I hope you find your mojo Alex. I find you disturbing without it.
Alex: Me, too.

Izzie: For what it's worth, I take issue with her salmon colored scrubs. I mean what self respecting surgeon wears salmon colored scrubs?
Meredith: This is what I'm saying.

2.07 -  Something to Talk About

Alex: Hey Izzie! -- Izzie! … Hey dollface! -- Oh I was gonna ask you a favor since you know maybe you’re better with people than I am …
Izzie: No.
Alex: But you haven’t even heard what …
Izzie: No! No. You’re like a broken record. God. You’re only ever nice or friendly or anything when it’s convenient for you. So no to your favor. No to you. No.
Alex: What’s up with you?
Izzie: I put on a dress! I did my hair! I had one night off in 2 weeks and I used it on you. And what do I get? Nothing. No respect. No apology. You couldn’t even be bothered to … kiss me goodnight. You know what you’re a coward and you’re just as shallow as you seem. So I am done trying to be your friend or whatever. I’m over it.

Joe: She yelled at you?
Izzie: Yeah, but we probably deserved it. We sold 485 dollars worth of tickets for the surgery.
Cristina: Yeah.
Izzie: Did you sell more?
Cristina(pulls money out of her back poket): Oh, yeah!

(About Meredith)
Bailey: Turn around, walk away.
Derek: From what?
Bailey: From my intern.
Derek: But I wasn't--
Bailey: Yes, you were. Look, look, look, you can't do this, you don't have the right. Not anymore.
Derek: I just wanna find out if she's okay.
Bailey: She's not. She's a human traffic accident and everybody is slowing down to look at the wreckage. She's doing the best she can with what she has left. Look I know you can't see this because you're in it. But you can't help her now, it'll only make it worse. Now walk away and leave her to mend.

(On top of a roof)
Derek: You know, when you said you found a lunchspot with a view I knew I should have taken you literally.
Addison: I found it in the Best of Seattle guide. It's hardly brown bagging on top of the Empire State Building, but they do have these cute little view finders.
Derek: You always find something to complain about.
Addison: Ok, is there anything that you like about me anymore? Because if there is I really need to know.
Derek: Well, I like that you like cute little view finders in every city that you live in.
Addison: I don't live here yet.(pause) You gonna stop talking to Meredith?
Derek: I will.
Addison: When? Today? Tomorrow? Next week?
Derek: Maybe I'm not ready yet.
Addison: Are you ever gonna be ready, Derek?
Derek: What if I say "no."
Addison: Then I'm not moving here.
Derek: Well, I guess we're at an impass then.

(Looking at the "pregnant guy", Shane, a nurse comes in)
Nurse: This room is supposed to be unoccupied, who's patient is this?
Izzie & Cristina: Hers.

Cristina: So hey, after rounds, we have something to show you.
Izzie: Mere? Meredith? Can you hear us?
Cristina: She's not deaf.
Izzie: Well, she looks weird.
Cristina: Well, what do you except? She's gone mental.
Izzie: Meredith have you gone mental?
Meredith: I have not gone mental.
Cristina: See? She's fine.

2.08 - Let It Be

Alex: What are you pissed about?
Izzie: You look at everything in a skirt.
Alex: I'd look at you in a skirt, something short, maybe school girl. Pleated.
Izzie: If that skirt didn't have a big pair of bouncing boobs attached to it, you'd stop looking.
Alex: You cut 'em off, you build 'em back up. Maybe you get to upgrade, life goes on.
Izzie: If there was a genetic test for testicular cancer you think men who tested positive would have this surgery? No, because it's castration. What man would willingly get rid of the part of his anatomy that makes him a man? This woman is having herself castrated. And we book an OR and act like it means nothing. It's not nothing. God, how could you possibly act like it's no big deal? I mean what if it was me?
Alex: Izzie, you're freaking out you know that, right?
Izzie: If I was the one with the cancer gene. I mean what if I showed up tomorrow and my boobs were made of plastic and my skin had aged 10 years and my sex drive had dried up. If it was me Alex, would you be so fine with it then? (He doesn't say anything) Yeah, you'd be really hot to kiss me with tongue then, wouldn't you?(She leaves)
(Later)
Alex: Here's the thing - I like your rack.
Izzie: God, what is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so - what is wrong with you?
Alex: I like your rack and I'd want them around if I could have them, trust me I would, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if you got rid of them... because really, I'd want you. (Izzie slaps him) Ow! What was that for? (she kisses him)

(After Webber asked her about the fellowship a few times before)
Webber: You're being wooed aren't you?
Bailey: Excuse me?
Webber: The fellowship, LA Med, Chicago Central. They're wooing you. I mean, you're fielding offers, you're looking at bonus packages, you're letting yourself be wooed.
Bailey: Chief I--
Webber: It's fine. It's fine. Go be a hotshot some where else. But tell me...how could you do this to me? I mean, I'm hurt, I'm really hurt. After all I've done for you. You're gifted and you're ungratful. And that's all I'm sayin'.
Bailey: I'm pregnant you blind moron.
Webber: You're what?
Bailey: My heart rate is 110, I'm burning 3000 calories a day, my legs are swollen, I got indigestion and gas. Did you know that carrying a boy in your uterus means that you burn 10% more calories than if you had a girl. Guess what I'm carrying? I tried for 7 damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men; from the very beginnin' they just suck the life right outta you. I'm not leaving. I'm pregnant.
Webber: Um...congratulations.

(After a guy has a heart attack at the resturant Burke and Cristina were at)
Paramedic (To Burke): Who the hell are you?
Cristina: He's the cardio-thrasic surgeon that's gonna be operating on him.
Burke: And she's with me.

(At dinner)
Burke: You eat red meat?
Cristina: You don't?

(Trying to find a dress to wear for her date with Burke)
Izzie: Uh....they're both really nice.
Cristina: I know I bought them. But which one's right?
Izzie: For what? You're gonna look hot in either one.
Cristina: Well, clearly. That's not the point.
Meredith: Wow, you look hot.
Cristina: Yeah, Burke and I are gonna talk about how hot I am over dinner. This date is such a mistake.
George: It's easy to get nervous on dates. It's especially hard if you're out of practice. You just gotta be mellow, and relax--
Cristina: Yeah, I know how to date, George, how about you?
Alex: Well, I have her scheduled for the bisectomy, and I get to stay while plastics does a tran-flap reconstruction.
Izzie: I couldn't do it.
Alex: Do what? Make yourself all hot and sexy for your boyfriend like Yang?
Cristina: Go wrestle something.
Izzie: I couldn't cut off my ovaries and breasts just because I might have cancer.
Cristina: Look at it like a hand. If someone told you'd die unless you chopped off your hand, you'd do it.
Izzie: Except when you chop off a hand you don't kill your sex drive and have silicon breasts. Get flashes and lose your ability to bare children.
Meredith: If it were me I wouldn't even have the test, I mean what's the point? We're all gonna die anyway, right?(They stare at her) It's the Hello Kitty band-aid, on my forehead. It's freakin' me out.
Alex: I say slice and dice 'em, whatever. They're body parts.
Izzie: Oh, so you'd cut off your penis?
Alex: Yeah, if it kept me from dying. Besides I've got plenty to spare.(walks away)
Cristina(After trying on a dress): I could do hot in my sleep. I look hot in my scrubs. I'm a hot person. He's seen me naked a thousand times.
George: Bad, bad images in my head. (walks away)
Meredith: He's never seen you outside of the hospital.
Cristina: Thank you.

(After a patient fell 5 stories, he landed on a bird)
Bailey: After you get some xrays, you might wanna get in there and look for the rest of Tweety.

Izzie: You kissed me.
Alex: Yes, I did.
Izzie: Should we? I mean, there's a discussion that we could have... if you wanted to have one?
Alex: Izzie, I kissed you, with tongue, and I plan to do it again and again - get used to it. End of discussion.
Izzie: Ok.

George: This is the luckiest day in the world!
Cristina: Tell that to the bird.
 

2.09 - Thanks for the Memories
(On the phone)
George: I'm in hell.
Cristina: I'm the one in hell. Burke's going all Iron Chef in your kitchen. Get your ass back here and save me.
George: I'm in the woods with shotguns and liquor. It's like deliverance out here.
Cristina: Well, at least you've got liquor. Where does Meredith keep the booze?
George: Um...I don't think she has any.
Cristina: How's that possible? She's a wasp. Liquor is like oxygen to a wasp.
George: Which is why we're out of liquor. Listen, can you come and get me?
Cristina: Ok, how am I supposed to get through the holidays without liquor, George?!

(Watching Izzie and Burke cook)
Joe: 10 says she dries out the turkey.
Walter: 20 says she pulls it off.
Cristina: 75 says I don't care.

Alex: I tell you something, you tell me something.
Meredith: OK. I feel like one of those people who's so freakin' miserable, they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infected the happy people. Like I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress. Your turn.
Alex: I failed the medical boards. If I tell Izzie she'll be nice about it and all supportive and optimistic. She might as well rip my nads off and turn 'em into earrings.

Joe: Happy Thanksgiving.
Cristina: Joe, thank god.
Joe: Hey, this...is my boyfriend. Walter.
Cristina: Whatever. Tell me you brought liquor.
Joe: I brought pie, pumpkin.
Cristina: You're a bartender.
Joe: Did you bring scalpels?

(After Burke starts helping Izzie cook)
Cristina: I'm gonna need liquor, lots and lots of liquor.

Bailey: Thank you for volunterring to come in, saves me from choosing an intern to torture.
Meredith: Happy to be tortured.

Addison: So...I...was thinking that we could have sex tonight. (Derek laughs and then Addison laughs) Look, I know we're both gonna feel weird about it. But it'll be the first time since--
Derek: Since Mark.
Addison: And Meredith. I have the day off, do you have the day off?
Derek: I have to stop by the hospital I have patients that I need to check on. If you have the day off what are you doing here?
Addison: I was thinking that we could have sex tonight. Come on, I made a reservation at noon, I was figure that we could do the Thanksgiving thing and then---I don't know, just rip the stitches get it over with.

Cristina: (To Izzie after invited Burke to Thanksgiving dinner) What was I supposed to do? Blow off my boyfriend for Thanksgiving? (pause) I tried to. He wouldn't blow. He's like something sticky that won't blow off.

Addison: Derek, are you done hurting me back? If not, I need to special order a thicker skin.

2.10 - Much Too Much

Meredith: Why do they always look so sad when I kick them out? (Cristina laughs) Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar and take them home for sex that there are no white picket fences or kids in your future? (Cristina pulls a key out of her pocket) Burke keyed you?
Cristina: I got freakin' keyed before coffee.
Meredith: What is wrong with them?
Cristina: They like these 1950's debutants: one dance and you have a shotgun to your head.
(Steve walks up, Meredith's one night stand)
Steve: Meredith. (She looks stunned) You work here?
Meredith: What are you doing here? Steve.
Cristina (Whispers to Meredith): Steve, Steve?
Steve: I'm having a little problem. Actually I'm having a big problem. (He moves his jacket from his waist. Meredith is looking at his face still, but Cristina sees it)
Meredith: What?
Cristina: Steve. Hi. Cristina.
Steve: Ever since you and I, it won't go away. (Meredith sees what he's talking about now, Cristina keeps staring)
Meredith: Cristina!
Cristina: What? It's right there looking at me. (Steve looks embarrassed) Oh, there are so many things I could say right now. (Pats Meredith’s shoulder) Champ.

Meredith: Why do they always look so sad when I kick them out? (Cristina laughs) Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar and take them home for sex that there are no white picket fences or kids in your future? (Cristina pulls a key out of her pocket) Burke keyed you?
Cristina: I got freakin' keyed before coffee.
Meredith: What is wrong with them?
Cristina: They like these 1950's debutants: one dance and you have a shotgun to your head.

(Showing Burke her apartment, which is a total mess)
Cristina: This...is where I live my mother decorated it. I don't do laundry, I buy new underwear. And uh, under the table, six months of magazines I know I'll never read but I won't throw out. I don't wash dishes, vaccuum, or put the toliet paper on the holder. I hired a maid once, she ran away crying. Uh..the only things in my fridge are water, vodka, and diet soda. And I don't care, but you do. Still think living together is a good idea?

Meredith: Don't tell me...
Cristina: The flag is flying once again.
Steve: Hey, nothing I did.
Bailey: Well, we've tried everything so it must be nerual.
Meredith: Nerual?
Cristina: She already called for a consult.
Meredith: A consult? You called nerual for a consult?!
Bailey: Hey, it's not my fault you broke the boy's penis.
Derek(Coming in the room): Hello everybody. What's up?
(Little later)
Derek: Hmm, so when did this...problem begin?
Steve: Well, I had a erection last night.(Meredith cringes, Cristina smirks) And I woke up with one this morning.
Bailey: Dr. Shepherd if you don't need me the other Dr. Shepherd needs a consult on one of the quints.
Derek: No, we're fine. So when did you last ejaculate?
(Meredith cringes some more)
Steve: I'm not sure. (Turns to Meredith) Meredith?
Cristina: Oh, I'm--I'm gonna go with Dr. Bailey.
Steve: Meredith, what time did we---sort of--uh, uh--
Derek: Yes, Meredith. What time did you two---

Meredith: Steve's labs came back clean.
Cristina: So?
Meredith: So someone needs to induce vasocontriction.
Cristina: Oh, nice try with the fancy word. He needs an enema and the answer is "no".
Meredith: I can't do it.
Cristina: Oh, come on. You let a guy you pick up in a bar and see you naked and you can't give him an enema.
Meredith: Totally uncalled for.
Cristina: I am keyed up and cranky.
Meredith: I would do this for you.
Cristina: Ooh! Oh, really. You'd give Burke and enema.
Meredith: Yes.
Cristina: Uh-huh.
Meredith: Maybe.
Cristina: Mmm-hmm.
Meredith: No. But that's not the point.
Cristina: Okay, here' how it goes. I do this for you and you do every enema I'm assigned to for a month.
Meredith: Deal.
Cristina: Wow, you really don't wanna do this.

George: Ugh, another sleepless night in Seattle.
Izzie: Who was it this time? Hairy back guy?
George: You know who I miss? Inapporiate facial hair guy. You know he did his own dishes.
Izzie: Huh, tattooed ass guy made coffee.
George: Yeah. He's a keeper.(Izzie looks at him) What? What? Meredith? I'm over her.
Izzie: Okay.
George: I am.
Izzie: I can see that.
George: Is she trying to set some kind of record?
Izzie: At least she has a goal.
(They see the guy leave)
George: Oh, he's new.
Izzie: And I shall name him running guy.
George: You know who I heard Alex come home with last night?You.
Izzie: I don't wanna talk about it.(George laughs) Actually, I really wanna talk about it. But he doesn't wanna talk about it because there were...technical difficulties.
George: What?
Izzie: You know he didn't(Makes motion with he hand) He didn't--
George(laughs): Oh no---
Izzie: Stop it.(He keeps laughing) You can't say anything.(He laughs harder) George, stop it.
George: I mean I'm at least thinking about making fun of him the next time I see him.
Izzie: He said it never happened before.
George: That's what we all say. And I mean they. What they all say.
Izzie: I don't know maybe this relationship just isn't meant to be. I mean I just---I just need some sex, George. I just (She grabs his shirt hard and angry) I need sex now! You know what I mean?
George: No matter how hard you beg...I'm not doing you.(They laugh)

(After Meredith's one night stand comes back to the hospital, as a patient)
Steve: Do you think it's serious? It hurts like it's serious.
Cristina: Do you realize this is completely insane?
Meredith: Well, we have to stash him some where until we figure out what's wrong with him. I can't have the whole hospital finding out.
Cristina: Hey, I am not going down for this. It's not my fault you broke this guys penis.
Bailey>(Overhearing): Broke his what? Cristina and Meredith keep walking Hey! Don't make me chase you down. I'm growing a person here!

Yang: What the hell is this?
Burke: It's a key.
Yang: Why?
Burke: Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential this morning?
Yang: Well, if the key turns in a lock, and no one asked for the key or even wanted the key, does it make a sound?

2.11 - Owner of a Lonely Heart

Izzie (After complaining about Alex): I'm having a moment here.
Cristina: You're not gonna have a nervous breakdown and kill yourself are you?
Izzie: No.
Cristina: So there's no chance you'd kill us?
(Izzie storms off)
George: Oh, that was wrong on so many levels.
Cristina: And so good.
George: That was. That was good.
(Cristina laughs)

Cristina: Why'd you kill three people?
Constance: Start off with a little small talk why don't ya.

Cristina: Hell hath no fury like a girl who's non-boyfriend screws a nurse.
Izzie: Bitch.
Cristina(Smiles): I like you better pissed off, you're almost like a normal person now.

Addison: You live in a glorified camper.
Derek: It's 40 acres of some of the most beautiful land in Seattle.
Addison: I don't give up a Cental Park brownstone to come and live in the forest.
Derek: Addy, our house in the Hamptons had trees, you didn't mind those trees, did you?
Addison: They were the Hamptons!

(to George, Cristina and Meredith about Alex)
Izzie: He is unbelievable! I'm so glad I never slept with him. Which is his loss, because I'm really good in bed. Mind blowing, mind blowingly good in bed.
Cristina: Are you trying to seduce us?

Meredith Voiceover: Four hundered years ago, another English guy had an opinion on being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire onto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just means that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have four legs. Someone to play with, or run around with, or just hang out.

Constance: (To Cristina) Dont worry, I only killed 3 people and none of them were doctors.

2.12 -  Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

(Izzie catches George helping Alex study)
George: Izzie wait.
Izzie: I say I like the guy and you can’t stop hating him. And as soon--
George: Izzie.
Izzie: As soon as he screws me over--
George: Izzie!
Izzie: You’re his new best friend.
George: Izzie, he failed his boards. This is important.
Izzie: He cheated on me.
Meredith(Walking up): Busted?
George: Yeah. I’m busted.
Meredith: His exam is tomorrow.
Izzie: You’re in on this too? He cheated on me! God!
Cristina(She’s walking down that hall with a Christmas tree): Oh, I told you she’d find out.
Izzie: Oh, of course you’re in on it.
George: She let him touch her boobs!
(Cristina hits George with the Christmas tree)
Izzie: He cheated on me with George’s skanky syph nurse!
George: That is just plain rude!
Meredith: We know, he cheated on you! That’s why we let you turn the living room into Santa’s freakin’ Village. We’re not big on holidays you know that. But we’re trying to be supportive because you are having a hard time. But right now, Alex, he’s having a harder time.
Izzie: Why does everyone care what kinda time Alex is having?
Meredith: Because he’s dirty Uncle Sal.
George: Sorry?
Cristina: Huh?
Meredith: He’s dirty Uncle Sal. The one who embarrasses everyone at family reunions and the one who can’t be left alone with the teenage girls but you invite him to the picnic anyway.
Cristina: Sorry. What?
George: I still don’t--
Meredith: I have a mother that doesn’t recognize me. As far as family goes, this hospital, you guys are it. I know you’re pissed at Alex but maybe you can try and help him anyway. Sorta like in the spirit of this holiday you keep shoving down everyone’s throats.
(Izzie and Meredith walk away)
Cristina:You.
George: What?
Cristina: Boob.

(Cristina is helping Alex study)
Cristina: Okay, the way you’re grabbing me now, that’s assault.
(She shows him how to do it the right way, and George walks in)
George: What? What the hell? Does Izzie know? Does Burke know about this?
Cristina: Un-bunch your panties, George. We’re helping Alex study.
George: I can’t hear you when his hand is on your boob.
Cristina: Take your hand off my boob, Alex.
George: Thank you. Study for what?
Alex: Shut it, Yang.
Cristina: Alex failed his boards.
George: Seriously?
Alex: I failed one part of one board. That’s it.
George: Still…that’s pretty embarrassing.
Cristina(She gets paged): Ah, he’s all yours Georgey do your worst.
George: You’re not giving me a rectal. Do not ask me to cough.

(Cristina walks in and sees, Alex touching Meredith)
Cristina: Ok, seriously, if you are that lonely there are excellent vibrators, I can give you a catalog.
Meredith: He failed his boards, I'm helping him study.
Cristina: You failed your practical?
Alex: Glad to know you can keep a secret, Grey.
Meredith: I kept your secret, it didn't do you any good. He needs our help.
Cristina: Oh, you're not serious.
Meredith: What if it were you?
Cristina: It wouldn't be.
Meredith: But what if it were?
Cristina: It wouldn't be.
(Meredith gets paged)
Meredith: I have to go. Be a patient do it for me.
Cristina: Fine, but when Tiny Tim goes all Norman Bates on us, I'm blaming you.

Bailey: Grey, Karav, you get to cover the pit. You can expect all kinds of holiday idiocy so that is my gift to you.

Meredith Voiceover: It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike during the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason why depression rates actually do spike at the holidays. (edit)
Bailey: Do not kick me!
George: Excuse me?
Bailey: Are you kicking me under the table, O'Malley?
George: No!
Bailey: Then clearly I wasn't talking to you! (sighs, to her stomach) You cannot kick me while I'm doing my job. (deep breath) Thank you.

Cristina: I'm a 55 year old man. I'm nauseous and I can't stop throwing up.
Alex: Forget it alright. I didn't ask for anybody's help.
Cristina: Look evil spawn, you can nurse your pride, key word being nurse. Or you can pass your test and be a doctor. Up to you.
Alex: (pauses) Any abdominal pain.
Cristina: Yes, from my giant fat belly all the way to my back. Oh and I'm drunk. Hiccup. Hiccup.

Nurse : Chief, Adele just called.
Chief: Tell her I'm ---
Nurse: She knows you're not in surgery and she said to tell you, quote: We are going to our niece's school pageant this morning. You have known about it for months. And after what you pulled on Thanksgiving, than she started using a great many word that I don't feel comfortable repeating.
Chief: Look I have 7 surgeons on vacation.
Nurse: There was something about divorce.

Izzie (She slaps him): Wake up! God no wonder you failed your boards. How do you expect to learn this stuff? Through osmosis?
Alex: What are you doing here?
Izzie: I'm a farmer. Okay? I've been drooling, puking, and crapping my pants.
Alex: You came here to help me study?
Izzie: Well, I'm not actually crapping my pants now, am I?
Alex: Why would you wanna help me after what I did?
Izzie (pauses then yells): Because... it's what Jesus... would freaking do!

(After Izzie decorated the living room)
George (To Meredith): It looks like Santa threw up in here.

Dr. Derek Shepherd (to Addison): I'm not saying this to hurt you or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you.

Cristina: Seriously, Burke, I haven't observed religious holidays since I was old enough to know better.

2.13 - Begin the Begin

Meredith: I've moved on. So don't give me that look.
Derek: What look?
Meredith: That look. Our look. I'm over you.
Derek: I'm over you too.
Meredith: You are?
Derek: No.
Meredith: Well, I am...over you.
Derek: I'm over you too.
Meredith: You just said--shut up.  
Derek: I got a trout. (She sees it and jumps) A rainbow trout.
Addison: Why--why did you bring a trout into the house?
Derek: Trailer.
Addison: Why did you bring a rainbow trout into the trailer?
Derek: Breakfast.
Addison: Breakfast?
Derek: Yeah. You hungry?
Addison: For trout?
Derek: Yeah.
Addison: I hate this, Derek. Ugh! I hate this, hate, hate! I hate this trailer!
Derek: Fine then. No trout for you.  
Webber: Cranky nurses don't do us any good.
Izzie (To Alex): Oh, well maybe you can cheer them up.  
(George and Izzie were hiding in the bathroom from the dog)
Meredith: What are you guys doing in there? We're gonna be late.
George: We need to talk about the dog.
Izzie: That's not a dog, it's a hyena skipped right into the zoo just in dog clothing.
George: Whatever. I don't chew up his clothes. I don't urinate on his bed. I don't try to mount him from behind.  
Derek: There is a land called Passive Agressiva and you are their Queen.  
Miranda: What are you saying.. I look tired, O'Malley?
George: No.. not tired.. no! You look.. um.. fresh, spry.. you glow.. (looking at his watch) it's time now!
Miranda: O'Malley, go do an intake on Addison Shepherd's patient!
Izzie: You do glow!
Alex: Like the moon!  
Miranda: Yang, why are you looking at my fat pregnant belly?  

2.14 -  Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

(When giving her dog to Derek)
Meredith: So… he chews everything, so don’t leave anything out. He hates cats and small little yappy dogs. Oh… not housebroken.
Derek: Oh.
Meredith: Probably should have told you that…  
(Talking about their relationships with Burke and Derek)
Cristina: What are you doing?
Meredith: What are you doing?
Cristina: Stop repeating what I say.
Meredith: Stop asking me questions.  
Meredith(voiceover): As doctors, we're trained to be skeptical because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is every patient is a liar until proven honest.  
Meredith(voiceover): So here's the truth about truth. It hurts. So we lie.  
George: I'm George. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy your tampons.  
(the dog is hiding underneath a cart and barks)
Burke: Dr. Grey is that a dog?
Meredith(smiles sweetly): No.  
George: I'm putting my foot down. Either the dog moves out or I do. Foot down now. It's me or the dog. Which is it?
(Meredith looks down at the dog)
George: You hesitated! (to Izzie)She hesitated!
Izzie(to Meredith): You hesitated?!
Meredith: I didn't hesitate! I was thinking.  
Dr. Bailey: Tell me that is not a dog.
Everyone: It's not a dog.

2.15 -  Break on Through

(Izzie, George and Meredith are lying in George's bed. Meredith turns out the light next to the bed.)
George:Anybody wanna have sex?
(Meredith laughs)
Izzie: George!  
Cristina: She called me unkind and lacking in compassion. In front of my boyfriend. I am not unkind.
Meredith: I think I have to kill a woman tomorrow. I have to take out the tube that is keeping her alive.
Cristina: Izzie.
Joe: This is the part where you say what is wrong with you.
Meredith: I have to kill a woman tomorrow.
Cristina: And that's a problem why? I mean if it's what she wants, it's what she wants. And that is not unkind or lacking in compassion. I'm a very compassionate person.  
(Cindy hugs Cristina)
Cristina: Ow. Ow. Ow.
Cindy: Am I hurting you?
Cristina: No, you're touching me.  
Burke: Never have I questioned a fellow surgeon in their O.R. I never understood what the problem was, an intern dating an attending...until today.  
Cindy: Anyone want to probe the wound?
Cristina and Alex: I do.
Alex: I'd really love to try your method of healing with love.
Cindy: I like the way you think Alex. You do the honors.  
Cindy: So it looks like it's just you and me, Izzie Mcgee!
Izzie: It's Stephens, Izzie Stephens.
Cindy: Oh no I knew. I was just rhyming.
(awkward pause)
Izzie: Oh right. Rhyming. That's neat.  
Webber: We need an additional 40 nurses to relieve the whole retirement that's striking about. That's 2 million dollars a year we don't have.
Derek: Have you checked under the couch? I always find spare change under the cushions.  
Izzie: Way to get your strike on.  
George: Dad's a truck driver, Mom's a teacher. The evening news shows me crossing a picket line, they'll out-live me just to pee on my grave.  
Izzie: I'm her mother, but I'm not her mom.  
Meredith(voiceover): We can’t help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it’s the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is, once you’ve crossed it’s almost impossible to go back. But if you do manage to make it back across that line you find safety in numbers.

2.16 -  It's the End of the World (Part I)

(The bomb squad guy is trying to get in the O.R. that Cristina is in and she's blocking the door)
Meredith(To the bomb squad): Oh no, she will hurt him.
Cristina: What is going on?
Meredith: Bomb in a body cavity.
Cristina: Man, all I got is Bailey's husband's open brain.
Meredith: What procedure?
Cristina: Craneotomy.
Meredith: Shepherd's got Bailey's husband on the table? Bailey's having a baby---
Dylan: Excuse me! Stop talking!
(Cristina makes a face)  
Izzie (To George): Ok, this is the last time I'm gonna tell you this, if you're gonna clog up the toilet, you've got to be willing to use a plunger or else we're gonna make you crap in the back yard.  
Burke: (to Meredith) I want you to walk out of this room. Walk. Do not run. Go and tell the charge nurse that we have a Code Black.
Meredith: I'm sorry, code black?
Burke: Code Black. Tell him that I am sure, and then tell him to call the bomb squad.  
Cristina: Which surgeon are we gonna have to suck up to today?
Bailey: That would be me.
Izzie: Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: I've been gone two weeks, two weeks, and you ran off two residents. I've got people phoning me at home, screamin', telling me my interns are Rosemary's babies. Nobody wants you. Do you think I have time for this? I am pregnant. I'm supposed to be on bed rest. I'm supposed to be growing a human being, I'm supposed to be calm. Do I look calm to you? Did I raise you fools to be pariahs?
(George walks up and hugs her)
George: You're back.
Bailey: I am not back!
George: You're not?
Bailey: Get off me. Yang, Karav, Grey stay here and wait for the incoming case, O'malley page Dr. Addison Shepherd. Stevens, get a wheelchair.
Izzie: A wheelchair?
Bailey: A wheelchair.
George: What should I tell Dr. Montgomery Shepherd?
Bailey: What did I say?
George: Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: What?
George: What do you want me to tell Dr. Montgomery Shepherd when she answers her page?
(Bailey's water breaks)
Bailey: Tell her my contractions are 10 minutes apart and my water just broke all over your shoes.
(Izzie arrives with a wheelchair, George picks Bailey up to put her in the wheelchair)
Bailey: Just get---Boy, get off me!  
Izzie: You knew Meredith and Cristina would be on the floor with the bomb.
George: Yeah.
Izzie: Is it wrong that we're jealous? It's all right that we're jealous, right?
George: The fact that we're jealous that they may blow up a guy is not a reflection on our character, it's about feeling useless.
Izzie: And effectual.
George: We couldn't even get Meredith out of bed this morning, we had to call in Cristina. How embarassing is that?
Izzie: You know what I think George? I think Meredith and Cristina are do-ers.
George: They do. They're do-ers.
Izzie: They do, and we, we watch. We're watchers.(She sees Alex) We have to become more proactive, George. We have to become do-ers.
George: Fight for what we want.
Izzie: We have to do.
George: Yeah.
(Izzie gets up to find Alex)
George: Oh, you mean, we are starting right now. OK.  
Bailey: Dr. Shepherd? Where exactly is my husband?
Addison: He’s with my husband.
(Bailey starts to cry)  
Addison: A gathering of men outside a delivery room. How mid-century of you.  
Bailey (on cellphone): Tucker Jones? You better be lyin’ in the street dead somewhere because when I get my hands on you (goes into labor) I AM HAVING YOUR BABY!  
(Cristina takes an incoming patient, instead of stopping the screaming woman)
Alex: I thought you said Burke told you to shut her up.
Cristina: Oh, no, Burke told me to tell you to shut her up.
Alex: Ma'am.(Woman screams) Ma'am?(She screams again) Mrs. Carlson are you injured?(She screams) I need you to (She screams) Mrs. Carlson.(She screams) Can you hear me?(She screams Alex puts face close to woman and screams)
[screaming stops]
Alex: (pleasant) Good, can you tell me what happened to your husband?
(Woman starts crying)  
Bailey: I could do this at home with a pair of scissors and a bucket of hot water.
George: You know, millions of women die every year from delivering their own babies. (Bailey and Addison stare) I did NOT just say that out loud...  
Bailey: What are you people doing out here?
Webber: Are you alright? Can I get you anything?
Bailey: A boy the size of a 10 pound bowling ball is working its way out of my body. Can you give me something for that? Can you give me a new vagina?
Webber: Uh, well..
Bailey: I didn't think so.  
Hannah: So, I’m touching live, unexploded ammunition.
Burke: I think so.
Hannah: Not the greatest feeling in the world.  
Burke: You were gone when I woke up.
Cristina: I had to do a thing.
Burke: You didn’t leave a note.
 
Izzie: Take off your pants.
Alex: What are you doing?
Izzie: I'm being a do-er. Getting while the gettings good, now take off your pants.
Alex: You realize when I said the apocalypse, I meant it metaphorically, not literally.
Izzie: Alex, I haven't had sex in 8 months, and 12 days. I'm horny, i'm half naked, and i'm saying yes. You wanna stand there and talk metaphors, or do you wanna literally take off your pants?  
Derek: Bailey's back? (Hurries to the door but stops when he looks in the window) And her cervix is being examined by my wife, which is a visual that I will never get out of my head.  
Derek: Your girlfriend is my ex-girlfriend's best friend. Can't we just call each other by first name?
Burke: I don't think so.
Derek: Seriously?
Burke: Seriously.  
Meredith: I'm just not going.
Izzie: You have to go to work. You're an intern. Saving lives is not optional.
Meredith: Yes, it is. I'm staying home.
George (Whispers to Izzie): We're supposed to be helping.(Walks over to Meredith's bed) Uh, Mere, maybe there will be a horrible accident nearby the hospital, cut a bunch of people open, sterneotomies, craniotimies, that'd be kinda fun, huh?  
Cristina: You have a feeling?
Meredith: Yes.
Cristina: Ok, what kind of feeling?
Meredith: Like I might die.
Cristina: Uh, today? Tomorrow? In 50 years? We're all gonna die eventually, but now we're late, let's go.
Meredith: Cristina, come on.
Cristina: This is me being supportive.
Meredith: Really?
Cristina: Yeah. Ok. Fine. I'm totally supportive. Go.
Meredith: Okay, the man I love, has a wife. And then he chooses her over me. And that wife, takes my dog. Okay, she didn't take the dog, I gave it to her, but I didn't mean to give it to her. I meant to give it to him. But that does not change the fact that she's got my McDreamy. And my McDog. She's got my McLife. And what have I got? You know, I can't remember the last time we kissed. Cause you never think the last time is the last time, you think there'll be more. You think you have forever but you don't. Plus my coniditoner decided to stop working, and I think I have britial bones. I just--I just need something to happen. I need a sign things are gonna change. I need a reason to go on, I need some hope. And in the absence of hope I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today.
Cristina(Pauses for a second, then pulls the sheets off of her): Whatever. Everybody has problems, now get your ass out of bed and get to work. Now! Move! Move! Move!(To Izzie and George) We're good to go.  
Derek: You alright?
Meredith: I have a feeling.
Derek: I get those.
Meredith: Yeah?
Derek: Yeah.
Meredith: And?
Derek: If you wait long enough it passes.
Meredith: You promise?
Derek: I promise.
(Meredith walks away, and Addison walks in)
Addison: Hey.. what'ya doing?
Derek: Waiting for it to pass..

2.17 -  (As We Know It) (Part II)

(After his surgery, after the whole bomb thing is over)
Derek: Where is she?
Webber: You had to be a cowboy.
Derek: Where is she?
Webber: She's right here.
Addison (Walks quickly up to him and hugs him): Derek. Oh, thank god you're ok.
(Derek has his head on Addison's shoulder and looks over at Dr. Webber)
Adele(To Webber): That was not the she that he was askin' for.  
Alex: Well, blood work's back. The chief has an anixety attack. Who's gonna tell him?
Izzie: Um...I gave you sex in the linen closet, you tell him.
Alex: Fair enough.  
Dylan: You know that was a very stupid move?
Cristina:It was Mere. Incredibly stupid.
Meredith: OK, you know when you don't need to be made fun of? Like when you have your hand inside a body that's got a bomb in it and a stranger is velcroing a flak jacket to your boobs.  
Shepherd: I'm just saying I don't want to be the guy that kills Bailey's husband.
Burke: And I don't want to be the guy that kills us all.  
Cristina: You know in the movies, how there's always the hero and then there's the other guy? You know, the guy who sees danger, and then runs in the opposite direction?
Dr. Burke: Yes.
Cristina: Be the other guy.  
George: (Finds Addison sitting alone in the hallway) Dr. Montgomery Shepherd? What are we going to do? You know, about Dr. Bailey. I mean, can we drug her?
Addison: Against her will?
George: No. Well, yes. Can't we force her? Uh, declare her temporarily insane?
Addison: You want me to declare Miranda Bailey, MIRANDA Bailey incompetent?  
Meredith: (To Preston and Dylan) I need one of you to tell me what this means, exactly. Because I think I know what it means, but I tend to be glass half empty these days. So, I won't trust what I think it means because what I think it means is that if the bomb were to explode over the oxygen line the whole hospital could blow up. And that's just crazy, right?  
George: Oh, Dr. Bailey, I can see the top of his head, oh he's cute.
Bailey: O'Malley?
George: Yeah?
Bailey: Stop lookin' at my va-jay-jay.
George: Yes ma'am.  
Meredith: I can't... I can't remember our last kiss. All I could think about was I'm going to die today and I can't remember our last kiss. Which is pathetic, but the last time we were together and happy I want to be able to remember that. And I can't Derek. I can't remember.
Derek: I'm glad you didn't die today. (goes to leave but turns around) It was a Thursday morning. You were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth t-shirt you look so good in. The one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were gonna see me later and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. Was quick, kinda like a habit. You know, like we'd do it every day for the rest of our lives. You went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed.
Meredith (beat): Lavender. My hair smelled like lavender from my conditioner.
Derek: Lavender. huh.  
Meredith: Tell me something.
Cristina: What?
Meredith: Cristina, I have my hand on a bomb; I'm freaking out. And, most importantly, I really have to pee. Tell me anything.
Cristina: He told me he loved me. Last night, he thought I was sleeping, but I heard him say it.
Meredith: Burke loves you.
Cristina: Yeah. (To Dylan who is watching her) mind your own business.
Meredith: Burke loves you.
Cristina: Yeah, everybody has problems.
Meredith: Well, are you gonna say it back?
Christina: Of course not. He didn't say it to me. He said it to the sleeping me. Reciprocity is not required. Besides, he might blow up.
Meredith: Excellent point.  
Meredith: Is this the strangest thing that's ever happened in your O.R.?
Burke: I'd have to say that it is.
Meredith: Good, cause I'm very competitive.
Burke: All the best surgeons are.  
Izzie: I was jealous. I was jealous of Meredith and the surgery and I (pause) I was jealous and now... I was jealous, Alex.  
Izzie: (to George and Alex) Would you two just shut up! Nobody cares if the blue is bluer or if you have super smelling powers. Meredith could die. Any minute she could just die. Actually stop living. Dead. Corpse. (starts giggling) I'm sorry. Sorry. God, I have really inappropriate reactions to this kind of stress. I'm sorry.


2.18 -  Yesterday

George: How do I look today? Would you say that I looked nice?
Izzie: You could use a little bit more lip gloss, but, yes you’re very pretty.  
Mark: That guy’s pretty much a goner, huh?
Meredith: Sensitivity. I like that in a stranger. Are you new here?
Mark: Visiting. Confounded by all the rain and it’s only my first day in town.
Meredith: You get used to it.
Mark: It makes me wanna stay in bed all day.
Meredith: We just met and already you’re talking about bed. Not very subtle.
(Derek sees him and so does Addison)
Mark: Subtle never been my strong suit. So, do you ever go out with co-workers?
Meredith: I um…make it a rule not to.
Mark: Then I am so glad that I don’t work here.
Meredith: Are you hitting on me? In a hospital?
Mark: Would that be wrong?
Meredith: Meredith.
(They shake hands, and Derek hits him)
Meredith: What the hell was that?!
Derek: That was Mark.  
(About her spontaneous orgasms)
Addison: How often?
Pamela: Uh…I don’t know. About 7 or 8 times a day.
Izzie(Excited): Everyday?
Addison: Uh…Dr. Stevens.
Izzie: I’m sorry.(In serious tone) Everyday?
Pamela: Yes. Everyday.
Addison: And you haven’t seen a doctor about this before?
George: Well, it’s not exactly something that you wanna cure, is it?
Addison: Dr. O’Malley.
George: Sorry. (In low tone, to Pamela) Is it?  
Mark: How come you can forgive her but not me?
Derek: I didn’t forgive her. And with you I have no obligation to try.  
Webber: Punching out people on my surgical floor. My head of neuro-surgery punching out people on my surgical floor.
Addison: Put the ice back on your hand.
Derek: My hand is fine!
Webber: Put the damn ice on your 2 million dollar a year hand! Now would someone tell my what the hell happened?
Addison: That was Mark.
Webber: Who's Mark?
Addison: He and Derek used to work together back in New York. And ... umm... They... We were all close friends. Until Derek found us in bed together.
Webber (To Derek): You put your weight behind it?
Derek: Yes sir.
Webber: Well, alright then.  
Mark: Derek and I always did have the same taste in women.
Meredith: Excuse me?
Mark: You’re Derek’s lusty intern, right? Heard about you all the way back in New York you’re famous.
Meredith: Hmm, well I heard about you all the way here in Seattle so I guess we have a lot in common.
Mark: We're the dirty mistresses.
Meredith: I suppose we are.
Mark: My 400 dollar an hour shrink says that because behind this rugged and confident extierior, I’m self destruction and self loathing to an almost pathological degree.
Meredith: Hey, we do have a lot in common.
Mark: You know it’s funny, Derek---Derek walks in on me naked with his wife actually in the throes. And he just turns around and walks away, but he sees me so much as talking to you and I’m on the ground bleeding. Interesting, don’t you think?  
Cristina: I don't get what McDreamy and McSteamy see in her.
Alex: Cause she's McHot.
George: McYeah she is.  
Meredith (Voiceover): We grow bigger and taller, but we never actually grow up. I've heard it's possible to, but i've just never met anyone who actually has. Without our parents to defy we'll break the rules we set for ourselves. We'll throw temper tantrums when things don't go our way. We'll whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We'll look for comfort wherever we can find it, and like children, we'll never give up hope.  
Burke: I am Preston Burke, a widely reknowned cardiao-thoraxic surgeon. I am a professional and more than that, I am a good and kind person. I am a person that cleans up behind myself. I am a person that cooks well. And you, you are an unbelievable slob. A slovenly, angry intern. I am Preston Burke. And you, you are the most competitive, most guarded, most challenging person I have ever met. And I love you.  
Ellis: I'm exhausted.
Meredith: So Am I.
Ellis: I was going at it all night in the on call room. What's your excuse?
Meredith: Mom.
Ellis: I tell ya. That man can make me purr like a kitten.
Meredith: Mom.
Ellis: When he isn't making me growl like a tiger.
Meredith: Stop!  
(Trying to come up with names for Mark)
Cristina: McSexy?
Meredith: No.
Izzie: McYummy?
Meredith & Cristina: No.
Meredith: McSteamy.
Cristina: Ah, there it is.
Izzie: Yep.
George: Now...I'll just be choking back some McVomit.  
George (To Meredith): I know I'm not a world reknowned surgeon and I know I'm not alot of things you've gone for in the past. But I would never leave you, I would never hurt you, and I will never stop loving you. (Meredith pulls his shirt over his head and doesn't say anything)  
George: Why is he suturing his own face?
Cristina: To turn me on.
Alex: Because he's Mark Sloan. He's like the go to plastic surgeon on the East Coast.
George(Whispers): That's the guy that Addison was sleeping with?
Izzie: Well, you can't really blame her, can you?
Cristina: No, not really.  
Cristina: What's wrong with you?
Meredith: My mom is a filthy whore.

2.19 -  What Have I Done To Deserve This?

George (Voiceover): Ok, so sometimes, even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're going to regret the moment, the minute, especially the morning after. I mean maybe not regret regret, because at least, you know, we put ourselves out there, but still. Something inside us decides to do a crazy thing. A thing we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet we do it anyway. What I’m saying is “we reap what we sow.” What comes around goes around. It’s karma. And anyway you slice it, karma sucks. Like I was saying: Payback is a bitch.  
(After Alex found out she slept with George)
Alex: I mean, it’s not like I should be surprised.
Meredith: Why not?
Alex: Because when your life is sucking you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men. It’s your thing. Whatever. I find it charming.
Meredith: You sleep with inappropriate women when you’re sober.  
George: Why? I just wanna know...why you--if you didn't want to.
Meredith: I didn't know I didn't want to. You were there and you were saying all these perfect things and I was sad. And so I thought "Maybe...maybe I've just been overlooking what's been in front of me...and if I just give it a chance, because you're George and you're so great." I didn't know I didn't want to until I knew I didn't want to.
George(Sadly): Yeah. Okay.
Meredith: Can we please just go back to everything the way it was?
George(pause): I don't know how to go back.(pauses) No. I'm done. We're done.  
George: I believe in karma. You know I mean, good people deserve good things. At least that’s how I thought the…universe worked.
Cristina: How can you think that and practice medicine?  
(Seeing George and Meredith acting weird)
Alex: 10 bucks says O’Malley caught her doing Mark Sloan.
Izzie: There’s something going on, I mean look at them.
Alex: All right, he walked in on her doing McDreamy. (Cristina and Izzie laugh) Did I just call that dude McDreamy?
Cristina: Oh, you know you did.
Alex (To Izzie): Awesome, you are ruining my life. (He moves to kiss her but Cristina hits his back)
Cristina: Get a room.  
Bailey: No moving, no peeking, no pulling the curtain, just stand there and let her talk to you. Do you understand?
Derek: Is this really necessary?
Bailey: I said do you understand?
Derek: I'm not mentally challenged.
Bailey: I'm not so sure about that.  
Bailey: Mind if I asked how this happened?
Addison: I slept with Mark!
Bailey: Ooh. And he has poison oak honey?
Addison: No! I slept with Mark a year ago and apparently this is what I get!
Bailey: Yeah. But how did you...
Addison: I live in a trailer. I have Meredith Grey's dog and I went outside to throw a stick and I had to pee. So, I squatted because I didn't wanna go inside and wake up my husband because of the way he's been looking at me since yesterday. (Starts crying) I just wanted a few minutes of peace and this is what I get!
Bailey: No, no, quite. (She keeps crying) Don't cry. Please, please don't cry! Stop! You're gonna make me (she moves her hands from her shirt showing that her shirt's wet) lactate.
Addison (Still crying): I'm sorry. I'm sorry.  
(Bailey is taking stuff to help Addison)
Webber: I see you.
Bailey: No, you don't.
Webber: Your husband was discharged over an hour ago.
Bailey: I'm not here.
Webber: Go home. You're not working today, you're on maternity leave.
Bailey: Exactly.  
Cristina (to George): If you want crappy things to stop happening to you then stop accepting crap and demand something more.  
Burke: He's your friend, he need our help.
Cristina: Are his problems surgical?
Burke: No.
Cristina: Then technically he doesn't need our help.
Burke: You're a good person.
Cristina: I am not.  
Izzie (about George): Just so you know Meredith, If you can't make this right, if you can't fix this, and it comes down to choosing sides, I'm on his. (Walks away)
Cristina: He's the weaker kid. I mean, even I don't beat up on weaker kids, it's cheap.
Meredith: I did a terrible thing... I did a terrible thing.
Cristina: He's been in love with you since day one, there's no way you didn't know that.... We all do terrible things.
Meredith: Thank you.
Cristina: You're welcome.  
Derek (regarding Addison): You have to tell me where she is. I saved your husband.
Bailey: She saved my baby.
Derek: So baby trumps husband?
Bailey: Mmm-hmm.
Derek: Baby trumps husband?!  
George (Voiceover): What I'm saying is we reap what we sow. What goes around comes around. It's karma and anyway you slice it, karma sucks.  
George: I think there is a balance. Or there should be a balance.. There should be some sort of balance. That's all.
Preston Burke: Good God, O'Malley, What the hell did Grey do to you?  
Meredith (to Derek): I did a terrible thing.
Derek: We all do terrible things.
Meredith: No, I'm pretty sure i'm gonna lose all my friends.
Derek: You won't lose me.

2.20 -  Band Aid Covers the Bullet Hole

Meredith VoiceOver: As doctors, patients are always telling us how they'd do our jobs. Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and send me home. It’s easy to suggest a quick solution, when you don’t know much about the problem or you don’t understand the underlying cause or just how deep the wound is. The first step toward a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But that’s not what people want to hear. We're supposed to forget the past that led us here, ignore the future complications that might arise and go for the quick fix.  
Alex (Seeing George’s new hair cut): What’s up with O’Malley’s hair? He looks like a hobbit.  
Meredith (To George, after she trapped him in the elevator): You’re trapped. And you don’t have to talk I’ll do the talking. (George is looking at the ceiling) George, I am truly very deeply, sorry. And I’m not going to make excuses (George is still looking at the ceiling) I’m just sorry. Look, I know you’re going to get off the elevator and walk away and not look back, I know that. But George, we’re friends. Real friends, and that means no matter how long (George is still looking up at the ceiling) it takes when you finally do decide to look back I’ll still be here. (Pause, George is still looking at the ceiling, the elevator stops, he gets off of it and leaves and doesn‘t look back)  
Cristina: Oh, please eat. Eat, I’m begging you to eat. Yummy food. Yummy. Bailey. Breast…milk food. Come on. (The baby keeps crying)
Burke (Walks up): Well, look at you.
Cristina: You find this amusing?
Burke: And you don’t?
Cristina (To baby): Come on. You know what? I can’t help you! I can’t help you! I cannot help you if you don’t wanna eat if you’re gonna keep on crying! (George walks up and takes the baby from her and he gets the baby to eat)  
Izzie: Did you talk to Meredith yet?
George: Tomorrow I’m gonna buy a t-shirt that says “Stop asking me about Meredith.” And I’m gonna wear it everyday until people stop asking me about Meredith.
Cristina (Sees Meredith coming) : Shhh! At least they won’t be asking you about your hair.  
(Still taking care of Bailey’s baby)
Cristina: Take him. Take him.
Izzie: No! Bailey gave him to you.
Cristina: She’s only going to be in surgery for another half hour, hour tops. Take him. Take him.
Izzie: You’re a liar and you also smell like vomit.
George: Really? Because I think it just smells like pooh.
Cristina: Okay, this is why some species eat their young.  
(Playing Scrabble)
Izzie: Screw. S-C-R-E-W. That’s 25 points thank you very much.
Denny: Wait a second, now you didn’t tell me we were playing naughty word scrabble.
Izzie(laughs): We’re not playing naughty word scrabble you just have a dirty mind.
Denny: Oh, it’s filthy but you’re the one who put down screw.
Izzie: I was referring to hardware, not sex.  
Izzie: What happened to George’s hair? Is he having a nervous break down?
Cristina: Burke says that he has issues. You should see them together like doing things like running and…cooking and talking, They’re like bonding.
Izzie: And you’re afraid that Burke will realize that he makes a better girlfriend than you?  
Callie: You didn’t call me.
George: I did---I did, a few times. I just hung up every time.
Callie: Nice…very stalker like. Goes with the hair.  
Derek: So your friends are they still mad about this very bad horrible thing you did?
Meredith: You mean the very horrible bad thing I won’t tell you about? Yes, they’re still upset.
Derek: Well, whatever it is, I don’t wanna know. Even if I beg, don’t tell me.  
(Changing Bailey’s baby’s diaper)
Cristina (Singing): A, b, c, d. (stops singing):Oh, gross.(Starts singing again) E, f, g, this really couldn’t suck any worse.
Webber (Appearing in the door way): Dr. Yang.
Cristina: Oh, Dr. Webber.
Webber: What’s that smell?
Cristina: Uh…it’s feces, it’s baby feces. We had an incident, sir.
Webber: Are you having trouble with the diaper, Yang?
Cristina: Sir. No, sir.
Webber: Because it looks like you’re having trouble with the diaper.
Cristina: No, sir, I’ve got a…I’ve got a MD from Stanford and a PHD from Berkley I can handle this diaper. Unless you want to?
Webber: Uh…n-no, no. It’s alright, it’s alright, you carry on.  

Cristina (To the crying baby): Shut it. Shut it. Shut it!
 
Callie (To George): So I scheduled the Mercer kid’s surgery for tomorrow afternoon. I assume you want it.
Cristina: Oh no, I want in. On a surgery, any surgery. I’ll do it.
Callie: Who are you?  
(After Callie was talking to George)
Cristina: Seriously?
George: Seriously.
Cristina: Do you think she has a couch that you can sleep on?  
Meredith (Voiceover): It's easy to suggest a quick solution when you don't know much about the problem, when you don't understand the underlying cause, or just how deep the wound really is.  
Meredith Voice Over: But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix.
(Derek lays on the bed and looks at Addison)
Addison: What?
Derek: I was indifferent. You know, in New York before Mark, I was just indifferent toward you.
Addison: Yes.
Derek: And I was absent.
Addison: Yes.
Derek: I'm part of the blame for what's happened to our marriage
Addison: Yeah.
Derek: I'm sorry. I'm working on it.
Addison: (Smiles) Okay.  
(Meredith has just told Derek that George won't listen to her appologies)
Derek: Do what I do... use the elevator.

2.21 -  Superstition

Izzie: I cannot fall for a patient.
Denny:[smiling] Oh. Well, good luck with that.
[She kisses him]  
Cristina: You don't have to follow me. [Walks up to Burke and hands him the cap]
Burke: Thank you. How long have you had this? It's one of my favorites.
Cristina: You know, you don’t need it. I keep that cap in my locker because every morning I look at it and I'm reminded of what I'm here for and what I want to be. A great surgeon. A surgeon who is decisive and executes and who doesn’t need a piece of clothing to give him an edge in surgery. You don't need it.
Burke: I know. You're right.
Cristina: I know I'm right.
[Walks off putting the cap on]  
Addison: Ah, Dr. Bailey. Here you go. (She hands her a cup)
Bailey: What’s this?
Addison: Hot cocoa. It’s a little ritual we had in New York. Four surgeries, four deaths, I figured we could all use a little good juju.
Bailey: And cocoa equals juju how?
Addison: Hey, hey, hey don’t question the cocoa.  
Cristina: The guy didn’t die because you weren’t wearing one of your caps.
Burke: Well, I know that. I just prefer wearing one of my one, it’s a comfort thing.
Cristina: Oh well…I prefer having George out of the apartment so I guess we both have comfort things.
Burke: Yang, what are you saying?
Cristina: Uh, you know, um, I have one of your caps in my locker.
Burke: Why do you have one of my caps?
Cristina: You know, that’s not the point, the point is um…I think I’m going to keep it hostage. So you kick baby out, and you’ll get your cap back.
Burke: Oh, I don’t do well with ultimatums.
Cristina: Maybe you should think of it more as a trade.  
(She catches him going through her locker and he finds her underwear)
Cristina: You’re a pervy little boy, George. And you’re not finding the cap.
George: I’ll do your dishes for a month.
Cristina: I don’t do dishes.
George: I’ll do your laundry.
Cristina: I don’t do laundry.
George: Maybe that’s why Burke likes having me around so much.
Cristina: Interesting. Interesting. Are you having sex with him?
George: No.
Cristina: Then he likes having me around more.  
(Izzie, walks up behind Cristina, grabs Cristina’s arm and pulls her in a room)
Cristina: Ow! Ow, you’re touching me.
Izzie: George says you have Burke’s scrub cap.
Cristina: So?
Izzie: Give it to him.
Cristina: No.
Izzie: Give it to him, Cristina!
Cristina: What is with you?
Izzie: He needs it to operate.
Cristina: No, he doesn’t. (She moves to walk away, and Izzie pushes her back)
Izzie: That isn’t your decision to make. Not when he’s going in on, Denny. Now are you gonna give it to him or am I gonna to physically take it from you?
Cristina (laughs nervously): Are you threatening me?
Izzie (Moving closer to her): I swear to god, Cristina, I like you. I really do. But I grew up in a trailer park and I’m not above kicking your pampered Beverly Hills ass. And I do mean, physically kicking your ass. (Cristina looks scared)  
George (After Callie sees him in the women’s bathroom on top of Cristina, trying to get Burke’s cap from her): Dr. Torres.
Callie: Dr. O’Malley, you’re aware that this is the women’s bathroom.
George: Yes, ma’am.
(Callie walks out of the bathroom)
Cristina: Dude, you called her ma’am she’s never gonna sleep with you now.  
Meredith: Burke has hat juju?
Cristina: Apparently.
Meredith: And you’re using it against him?
Cristina: Well, they’re forcing me to because of the clarinet playing, the running and all the breakfast food.  
Izzie: He’s on the phone with the laundry, they still can’t find his scrub caps.
George: That’s what I gotta tell him, Cristina won’t give hers back. Unless I’m ready to hit a woman. And even though it’s Cristina I’m not ready to cross that line.
Izzie: Wait! Cristina, has one of Burke’s scrub caps?
George: She’s holding it hostage, why do you think I’m stalking her?  
Meredith: I got hot chocolated. She-Shepherd hot chocolated me. It’s her juju.
Cristina: I don’t like people who say juju.  
(They are all standing in the ER and there are no patients around)
Cristina: Great. No blood, no guts, no lives to save. It’s dead quiet.
Bailey: Did you really just say that?
Izzie: Cristina!
Cristina: What?
George: You said the “Q” word.
Izzie: It’s like saying “MacBeth” in the theatre.
Cristina: Please. You think that when someone says it’s quiet that’ll mean--- (A person rushes in asking for help, and is followed by all of them being paged)  
Izzie: I talked to the morgue guy this morning.
Meredith: The one with the unibrow?
Izzie: The one with the teeth thing. And he said surgical fatalities come in 3’s and 7’s says that means that there’ll be three more by midnight.
Cristina: Ooh, okay then since dead tooth morgue guy said so.
Izzie: He’s the morgue guy. He, like, knows things about death.  
George: Can I have a bite of that?
Cristina: No. You’re in my apartment, you don’t get to be in my food.
George: Dr. Burke gave me a protein bar this morning.
Cristina (To Meredith): He packs his lunch for him, did I mention?  
Izzie: What did you say to him?
Alex: Who?
Izzie: You know who. What the hell, why does Denny think he’s dying?
Alex: Well, maybe because there is a good chance that he is.
Izzie: Just so we’re clear, we’re over, Alex. This isn’t working.
Alex: You’re breaking up with me over a corpse.
Izzie: No! No, I’m breaking up with you because on your very best day…that corpse is twice the man that you will ever be. You’re not good enough for me, Alex. You’re not good enough for any woman.  
Alex: O’Malley, you are a sad excuse for a man.
George: Excuse me?
Alex: I know you heard me. You’re like a whiney little girl.
Meredith: Alex!
Alex: You know why he’s not speaking to you because he’s not over you. (Turns to George) Man, you got laid, it went badly, a man would move on but you, you mope around this place like a dog that likes to get kicked. You make me sick. And if it wouldn’t get me kicked out of the program I’d smash your pathetic little face right (hits locker) into that locker.  
Meredith: How's your guy?
Cristina: Brain's bleeding. Needs surgery. You wanna know why? 'Cuz he couldn't move his car until he stopped counting.
Meredith: My girl--ruptured spleen--won't have surgery because of her horoscope.
Cristina: Oh, well, we should introduce them. They'd make a nice crazy couple.  
Bailey: Poor girl's going to kill herself trying not to die.

2.22 -  The Name of the Game

Cristina is mad at Burke because during their game yesterday he couldn’t guess Madonna)
Cristina: Who doesn’t know Madonna?
Izzie (Sneezes, and muffles what she said): Sore loser.
Cristina: I am not a sore loser. You know, and so what if I am? The whole point of games is that there is a winner, a first place. You want a second best surgeon operating on you? (Meredith and Izzie shake their heads in agreement, but keep knitting) No, you want the very best. (Meredith and Izzie nod in agreement but still keep knitting) And second best is mediocre and to settle for mediocrity is--- is frankly a sign self-loathing and sub-standard work ethics. (She sits down and sighs) I’ve got to get George out of my apartment.
Meredith: You know, you could sleep with him and then right in the middle start crying and that’s painful and humiliating and unbelievably cruel but apparently it works.
Izzie: Would you just keep knitting? (To Cristina) Kick him out so he can come back home to us.
Cristina: I-- I can’t kick him out, he’s Burke’s puppy it’s gotta be Burke’s idea. I just gotta figure out a way to make him do it.  
Derek: Ah, Doctor Bailey, do you have an extra intern?
Bailey: I’m available.
Derek: No, no, no, no. I said “intern”.
Bailey: Shepherd, look at the board.
Derek (Looking at the board): Okay, what am I looking at?
Bailey: My name isn’t up there. It wasn’t up there yesterday and won’t be tomorrow.
Derek: What’d you do piss off the Chief?
Bailey: Yeah I pissed off the Chief. I went and had a baby, I gave birth, I created a human life. I’m a surgeon, we don’t do that. He’s mommy tracking me.
Derek: He’s just going easy on you.
Bailey: No, I change diapers, I-- I clean up spit up. I sing the ABC’s. I am covered in mommy. But that does not mean I will be mommy tracked.
Derek: You’re freaking out.
Bailey: I just need a surgery, I need a surgery now. So for today I am your intern. (Derek shakes his head) I have not begun to freak out.
Derek: Alright, come on.  
Izzie: So what are the sister and the father like?
Cristina: Like? They’re like people who Meredith is related to and never met.
George: They’re nice.
Izzie: Could you imagine? A sister and a whole family you know nothing about? You think she’s gonna freak out?
George: It’s not my responsibility to care.
(The Chief comes by and talks about how Cristina is beating him, then leaves and Meredith sits)
Izzie: George.
George: It’s not my responsibility. (He leaves)
Meredith: That’s okay, I can accept rejection. I’ve got my knitting---
Cristina: Mere…
Meredith: --- The weird thing is I just saw my father.
Izzie (Izzie slams her hand against the table and looks at Cristina): Oh, that’s good. That’s so good.
Cristina: Did you meet your sister too?
(Meredith gives her a confused look, where as Izzie gives her a shocked “I can’t believe you said that” look)  
Lola: You’re getting the hang of it.
Meredith: Not really.
Lola: You give up men?
Meredith: No…yes. You know, I don’t need to actually see the vet, I just really wanna sit with Doc. I just wanna spend time with my dog.
(Finn comes down the stairs)
Finn: Hi. I’m Finn Dandridge you must be Dr. Grey, Doc’s other owner. We finally meet. Hello.
(Meredith starts knitting faster)  
(They are playing scrabble, and she is knitting)
Izzie: He’s just not George anymore. He’s broken George. First he cuts off his hair and then he starts hanging out with this Callie. Wha-is that is not a name, Callie. Who is she anyway? I’m his best friend. Not that he talks to me anymore.
Denny: Triple word score. Sixty-nine points. Woman, I’m beating that pants off of you. Pay attention. What the hell you doin’?
Izzie: I’m making a sweater. Actually, Meredith, that’s my friend. The friend that broke George, she is knitting a sweater, she is not really knitting a sweater because she can not knit. But I want her to think she is knitting a sweater because she and I took a celibacy vow. So she is replacing sex with knitting and so I am knitting pieces of Meredith’s sweater so, I can switch them out with hers so she can really believe that she is knitting. Because If anybody needs to be celibate it’s Meredith because she broke George, you know?
Denny: You took a vow of celibacy?
Izzie: Yes.
Denny: How am I supposed to get into your pants if you took a vow of celibacy?
Izzie: That is a very inappropriate thing to say to your doctor.
Denny: You know what’s inappropriate? Promising sexual favors to a patient to get him to live and then backing out.
(Izzie makes a shocked sound)
Izzie: Denny Douqette I so never, ever promised---
Denny: In my head ‘ya did and in my head you delivered. Don’t worry you weren’t very good.
Izzie (scoffs): Okay, you know what? I was being nice. I was letting you win because you’re Mr. Sick-Needs-a-New-Organ guy. But just for that comment I’m gonna kick your ass.  
(After beating Burke and Cristina at a game)
Callie (To George): Apparently we think alike.
Cristina: And you’re proud of that?  
Beatrice: Study hard. Keep your grades up. Starting next year you’re gonna wanna take two AP classes a semester if you want to get into a different college.
Amelia: Mom, this is really morbid.
Beatrice: And your Aunt Sue is kinda lazy when it comes to personal hygiene. So, you may have to be the one to remind her when it’s time to get your eyebrows waxed or your hair cut but eventually she’ll get the routine down.
Amelia: Can we not have this conversation?
Beatrice: Oh, this might sound random but wear underwear with pantyhose. I know it might feel a little bulky but honestly it’s a little slutty not to and also that’s how you get yeast infections.
Amelia: Mom, this is totally gross.
Beatrice: And marry a kind man. One who’s nice to his mother. Now, if he lives with his mother, you run the opposite way.
Amelia: Mom, I’m not getting married.
Beatrice: You will someday and when that day comes just have one glass of champagne and then you just drink water for the rest of the night because there’s nothing tackier that a drunken bride.
Amelia: Mom, I don’t… (Starts crying) Why are you telling me all this?
Beatrice: Honey, I’ve been sick for along time and the doctors don’t think that I’m gonna get better.
Amelia (Sobbing): No.
Beatrice: Amelia look at me. Amelia. This is important, this one is really the important one. Some day you’re going to have a baby and you’re going to feel overwhelmed by this little life that you are responsible for and you’re gonna think that well everything you do is wrong, and that’s normal. You’re gonna obsess about what to find it and where to send it to school and whether it should take violin or piano. But, I’m gonna let you in on a little old secret, it doesn’t matter. Whether you’re kid is a concert pianist or a math genius it just doesn’t matter because at the end of the day all that matters is that your kid is happy. So you’re going to feel sad for a little a while and that’s okay, that’s fine. But don’t feel sad forever, okay? You can promise me that? You promise me that you won‘t feel sad for too long?
Amelia (crying): I promise.
Beatrice (crying): Okay. (They hug) Thank you. That should make me feel much better.  
Izzie: Hi.
George: Hey.
Izzie: Your hair is growing out, which is nice. I still think you should cut it. I could cut it for you…if we still lived together. Or we could just hang out and talk about stuff…like your new friend, Callie. She’s uh…she’s very um…you know, if you like her, I will like her…eventually.
George: I can’t escape her.
Izzie: What?
George: All I wanna do is forget her, all I wanna do is just escape her. And you know, I can’t.
Izzie: You wanna escape Callie? (breathes a sigh of relief) Thank god ‘cause she is like a total freak and I’m starting to get really worried about you. (She stops laughing when she sees George’s face) Sorry. Who? Oh, Meredith again.  
Thatcher: I spent years studying this board, holding a crying baby. Trying to get an idea of when my wife would be out of surgery. "Appy" takes about an hour. Anything with the word "Cardio" in it and I knew not to plan on seeing her at all that day.
Chief: Thatcher, are you aware of what's going on with Ellis?
Thatcher: You have no right, no right to talk to me about Ellis.  
Thatcher: Oh, hey Doctor O’Malley.
George: Hi.
Thatcher: I was looking for you. You were-- (He tries to take a step forward, and George steps in his way blocking him from seeing Meredith who is listening right behind a door) before any one of us starts asking about Meredith you know her…you’re her friend?
George: I used to be her roommate.
Thatcher: Oh wow. You know her really well.
George: Uh, yeah pretty well.
(Shows Meredith listening)
Thatcher: Um…she came to see me a couple of weeks ago and--
George: A couple weeks ago?
Thatcher: Yeah. And I-- I didn’t know what to say to her. She looks so-- so much like her mother. Ellis was cold. I mean, I was a coward. I was, I-- I left. But her mother would never let me know her and now I don’t know how to know her.
(Pause)
George: Well, Meredith is anything but cold. She smiles… not that often but when she does, you know, because she’s… going through a lot. But… it’s-- it’s like you feel warm. She’s kind. I mean she can be a little selfish, you know, she can be---she’s flawed but she’s kind. (Shows Meredith still listening) She cares about people and uh… she cares about her patients. I think she’s going to be a brilliant surgeon you know, and around here she’s known as the one to beat. (Thatcher smiles) So I-- I guess she has that in common with her mom but I think the rest of her, I think-- I think the rest of that, she gets from you.
Thatcher: Do-- do you know where she is?
George: I think she left already, but I can tell her you were here if you want me to.
Thatcher: Yeah, okay. Thank you. (They laugh awkwardly)
George: All right. Bye.
Thatcher: Okay.
(Both walk away)
Meredith (Softly): Thank you, George.  
Joe: Dude, is she knitting?
Derek: You know, as a friend, I gotta tell ya. You look a little weird.
Meredith: I am making a sweater.
Joe: You're knitting, in a bar. You can’t knit in a bar you're scaring the customers.
Derek: Come on, have a drink.
Meredith: I can’t have a drink, I’m celibate.
Joe: You mean sober? She means sober.
Meredith: No, celibate. I’m practicing celibacy and drinking does not go well with celibacy, because it makes everything and everyone seem kinda porny, and then my head gets cloudy and the next thing you know, I’m naked. And my point is that I’m celibate and knitting is good for surgical dexterity so I’m making a sweater.
Derek: You celibate? I just don’t buy it.
Meredith: No more men.
(Addison walks up)
Addison: No more men? Really? You? (Derek gives her a look) I’m--I’m asking we’re friends.
Meredith: Every guy I meet turns out to be married.
Derek (Makes face): Ooh! Ouch.
Meredith: Sorry. Or Mark.
Addison: Okay, I’m gonna go over there now. (walks away)
Meredith: Sorry. Or remember the horrible thing I did? Remember George?
Derek: You’re making a sweater.
Meredith: I am making a sweater.  
Meredith: I need some bones to break.
Callie: What?
Meredith: Some bones to break, something to smash, can you help me with that, please?
Callie: Um… you can clean up this cast crap if you want.
(Meredith starts smashing it up, pounding it while Izzie and Callie stare)
Callie: Is she freaking out?
Izzie: No, uh-uh. She’s fine.(Meredith starts hitting the cast harder) She’s great. So, George, he’s really, really your type, huh?
Callie: You don’t see him. Either of you, you don’t see him. He’s just George to you. He’s just O’Malley, he’s your roommate. (Meredith continues to smash)
Izzie: You don’t have to get all up---
Callie: He makes my world stop. George O’Malley is sweet and kind and smart and strong. And he makes my world stop so you shut up about him. (Meredith stops smashing) Don’t forget to clean it up, when you’re done smashing. (Callie leaves)
Izzie: Holy crap, George is her McDreamy.

2.23 - Blues for Sister Someone

Finn: So you and Derek uh...are you together?
Meredith: Uh...D-Derek and I are um, just friends. He's married and I am knitting a sweater. And uh...well, I guess I'm rambling which I tend to do a lot lately and I just wish that someone would just tell me to shut up. But my point is uh...wer--were uh, he's married and I'm knitting...a sweater.
Finn: So, you're single?
Meredith: Single?
Finn: I asked because I was wondering if you would like to go out with me?
Meredith: Out, with you?
Finn: On a date. Tonight.
Meredith: Date? Tonight?
Finn: And you're repeating everything I say so you can buy yourself sometime and figure out a way to let me down easy. It's okay, you know, I get--
Meredith: No. I-I-I um... you know you're very...It's just that if I were, you would (cringes)...Not dating.  

Meredith: Obviously I can't go out with him, right?
Alex: Do I look like a chick to you? Do I look like I care about eve's cream or tingling feelings? He's not on drugs or in jail or keepin' body parts in his basement. If you wanna do 'em, do 'em.
Meredith: Not do him. Date him. I'm not doing anybody. I'm knitting.
Cristina: I need Eugene Foote's chart. (Meredith hands her it) Oh. Who are we talkin' about?
Meredith: It's weird, right? I mean, he's Derek vet, he's Doc's vet, he's my vet. He's McVet. It's weird to date him, right?
Cristina: Wait, did you say "vet"?
Meredith: Mmm-hmm.
Cristina: Like animals? Oh you can't date a vet, he's not even a real doctor.
Addison (Comes in the hospital, to herself): Damnit! Bad sex. Don't gimme that, ha ha, very funny.
Meredith: It must not have gone so well this morning.
Cristina: What?
Meredith: Just run if she looks at you.
Addison: I need an intern, now.
Meredith: Uh, I'm with Bailey. (Leaves)
Cristina: I'm with Burke. (Leaves)
Addison: Karev.
Alex: I don't do vagina, not as a doctor anyway.
Addison: Oh, back talk, that buys you a case.  

Cristina: What?
Burke: Oh, nothing. I'm just dragging a little. I only did two miles this morning. O'Malley and I were up to six, we pushed each other.
Cristina: Ah, you're missing George.
Burke: No. No, of course not. Cristina: Drink your coffee.
Burke: Oh, no that's all right. Actually I'm waiting on--
George (Walking up with a cup): Ooh, cappuccino.
Burke: Hey, O'Malley!
George: Big news, Eugene Foote's here he's having big problems with his pacemaker.
Burke: Eugene Foote is here?
George: Uh-huh.
Burke: In this hospital?
George: Uh-huh.
Cristina: Who's Eugene Foote?
George: Eugene is Burke's hero. Burke flew down to San Francisco last year to put in his pacemaker. Burke has like 40 of his albums.
Burke: Uh, no 42.
George: Actually 43 because you just got the greatest hits CD with the DVD.
Burke: Ooh, right. You want in on Foote?
George: Yes, but I'm on neuro today with Dr. Shepherd. (Leaves)
Cristina: Uh, I want in. Hello! I want in.
Burke: Hmm. Yeah. Sure.
Cristina: Burke I laid on top of you naked last night so why don't you act nostalgic about that.  

Izzie: I'm just curious, George. Curious George. (Laughs) Get it? (He ignores her) Nevermind. All I'm asking is where do you live?
George: Listen to this, there's an old school arcade game that's been known to enduce seizures if you reach level 53.
Izzie: And most lawyers don't play an arcade game for 53 levels. Oh and George, by the way, um...where do you live?
George: I'm busy doctoring, Dr. Stevens. No time for chit-chat.
Callie (Appears in the doorway): Mornin' Dr. O'Malley.
George: Mornin' Dr. Torres.
(She comes over and they talk, and Izzie is watching)
Izzie: Dr. O'Malley how's all the doctoring going?

2.24 Damage case

Meredith: We all go through life like bowls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves, to other people. The problem is trying to control the damage we've done, or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we cant even see.

Meredith: So, uh, I don't cook.
Finn: Nobody asked you to cook.
Meredith: I know, I'm just saying, you know, I don't cook. So you don't have to cook, I don't expect you to cook for me.
Finn: Ok, you, sit there. I want you to drink this and try really hard to act like you aren't scary and damaged.
Meredith: I'm not scary and damaged.
Finn: Yeah, you are.
Meredith: No, I'm not scary or damaged.
Finn: Mmmhmm, alright. Why don't you tell me about your family?
Meredith: Ok, me not wanting to talk about my family does not make me scary to damaged.
Finn: Ok, tell me about the last guy you slept with.

Izzie: What'd you say to him?
Meredith: Nothing, I fled the scene.
Izzie: You didn't tell him about George, or Derek?
Meredith: Nope.
Izzie: Hmm. You like him.
Meredith: I could like him.

Izzie: So what's the sex like?
Meredith: I don't know.
Izzie: Four dates and two sleepovers and no sex?
Meredith: Not even a kiss goodnight.
Izzie: Aww, I am proud. I am like a proud mama.
Meredith: Shut up.

Meredith: Hey
Derek: How's my dog?
Meredith: Much better. Finn is running tests.
Derek: Good. Good.
Meredith: Our dog.
Derek: What?
Meredith: Our dog. You said my dog. He's our dog.
Derek: Yeah, whatever.
Meredith: Are you mad at me or something
Derek: Now is not the time.

Derek: How the hell did you let a patient get that far from your watch?
Meredith: I turned my back for a second.
Derek: He was in the damn gallery!
Meredith: He's a surgical intern at Mercy West.
Derek: I don't care if he's the Surgeon General. In this hospital he's patient with a head injury who needs a CT. In this hospital he's a scared guy who doesn't need to see the mass of internal injuries of the woman he ran into with his car! This is your fault! You had him and you lost him! [walks away and comes back and yells] You've gotta take responsibility for your actions for once in your life! [walks away]
Meredith: Derek!

Husband: She's mad at you.
George: I, I didn't know you were awake.
Husband: What'd you do?
George: Uh, has anyone talked to you about your wife? About what's happening?
Husband: What's happening. Yeah, uh, I can't really wrap my brain around whats happening. You know, I'm from here, Seattle, and uh I go away to college and I come back married to this big-haired, drawling, southern girl. And everyone I know thinks I'm crazy, but I love her. And I just, I love her. And, uh, what's happening is that my big-haired southern girl could be dying and I can't think about that. You know, I need to think about something else. Something that doesn't matter so much, something that doesn't have me burying my 22 year-old wife and baby. So, so, what the hell did you do?
George: I believed my friend when she told me that Dr. Torres didn't wash her hands.
Husband: Well, I hope that's not true, seeing as she just performed surgery on me and all.
George: Yeah.

Meredith: I never should have told you about George.
Derek: No, its fine, I'm glad I know about him, and the vet. You really get around.
Meredith: What did you just say to me?
Derek: Its unforgivable.
Meredith: I don't remember ever asking you to forgive me.
Derek: So was the knitting a phase? Who's next? Alex? 'Cause I hear he likes to sleep around too. You two have that in common.
Meredith: [she grabs him as he turns to walk off] You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys and all the bars and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared, because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore.
Derek: This thing with us is finished. It's over.
Meredith: Finally.
Derek: Yeah, it's done.
Meredith: It is done.

Callie: You have to stand up for me.

Meredith: We're all damaged, it seems. Some of us, more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grownups, we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage. And then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can.

Finn: You're driving me crazy with the hovering.
Meredith: [sighs] This could be a mistake. This. Us. You, you, you’re a really nice guy and well, you're, you don't want to get involved with me. If you knew me.
Finn: Scary.
Meredith: Finn.
Finn: And damaged. See, I told you.
Meredith: If you knew me. If you knew my family. If I told you the guys that I've slept with lately. The scary and damaged may actually be more than you can handle.
Finn: My mother's dead. She got cancer when I was ten and she suffered for a really long time and then she died. And my father never recovered. Its kind of like he died with her, except that his body's above ground and permanently placed in front of a TV with a bottle of scotch in his lap. And the last woman I slept with was my wife, but she died too. It was a car crash so it was quick. She didn't suffer, which I appreciated. Don't worry, I'm thinking that my luck is beginning to change, because I met you. And you like dogs, and you enjoy pony births, and have the ability to save lives. I never said I wasn't scary and damaged too. [she kisses him]

2.25 17 Seconds

Meredith (v/o): In life we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones... gluttony, pride, lust. But the thing you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger is not that dangerous, that you can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all when it comes to destructive behaviour, it did make the top seven.

[at Joe's, Derek and Burke are throwing darts, Meredith, Izzie, Cristina are at the bar talking]
Cristina: [about Burke] He is picturing my face. He is totally picturing that dart puncturing my skull. [sees Burke holding up arm in manly show-off and imitates him] Wooo look at that.
Izzie: [to Meredith] Derek, Derek is picturing you.
Meredith: He called me a whore. He lost the right to picture me.
Cristina: So I fall asleep during sex. So what? Ass!
Meredith: [about Derek] Ass!
Izzie: [Alex walks over] Oh, ass! Hey.
Alex: [to Izzie] Isobel Stevens has finally left the hospital. Does this mean heart patient dude finally kicked it?
Izzie: [to Alex] I'm sorry, this section of the bar is for surgeons. We don't socialize with gynecologists.

Alex: Seen any enima kits?
Meredith: We have thirteen GSWs and you looking for enima kits?
Alex: Trapped upstairs with the Gyno-Beast on the Uterus Parade.
Meredith: Addison can't do this thing forever Alex
Alex: I swear to God she ruined vaginas for me.

Derek: Can you imagine? You're working, and someone comes in and shoots you - puts a bullet in your head.

Girlfriend: Love means never having to use your girlfriend as a HUMAN SHIELD!

Addison: Are you sleeping with my husband?
Meredith: Not since before I found out he was married.

[Izzy walks around Denny's hospital room, shutting the blinds]
Denny: Izzy. . . .Izzy, stop and listen to me. We're not doing this.
Izzie: Don't worry. You're not gonna die. I will be here the whole time to make sure of that and that's what this stuff is for. [indicating the equipment she brought in]
Denny: This isn't about me dying. Alright? This is wrong.
Izzie: You've waited a year and a half to get this thing. Who knows when the next one is gonna come along.
Denny: I'll take my chances.
Izzie: No. It may be too late by then. [continuing her preparations]
Denny: Then it's too late. Alright? Get this stuff out of here.
Izzie: Denny! Please. You have to do this.
Denny: No, Izzy! I'm not about to steal a heart from another man's chest! Not to mention, this'd be the end of your medical career.
Izzie: I don't care about my medical career.
Denny: Alright, you know what? This has gone on long enough. I'm gonna call a nurse. . . .
Izzie: Everyone who is entered into the transplant program is clocked in to the second. . . . to the second, Denny, you were clocked in to the second and so was the other guy, I checked with UNOS. The difference between when you entered the program and when he entered the program is 17 seconds. That it, Denny. 17 seconds. I mean, that's not even the length of a decent kiss. So, this other guy? I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve this heart. I'm sure he does. But so. do. you. So do you. And if you tell me ANYmore crap about heading towards the light or looking down on me from heaven, I swear, I will kill you myself right now. [gasping a little]
Denny: [tears in his eyes] Izzy... [pause] I'm gonna be alright. [shaking her head in disbelief] Alright, you don't have to worry.
Izzie: What About ME? What about me when you go into the light?
Denny: Izzie--
Izzie: No! I get it, OK? I get it! You'll be OK, you'll be fine, but what about me?! So don't do it for yourself, do it for me! Please? Please, Denny! Please do this for me! Because if you die--Oh, God! You have to do this! You have to do this for me, or I'll never be able to forgive you!
Denny: For dying?
Izzie: No! For making me love you! Please? Please, do this--
Denny: Come here.
Izzie: Please do this for me? OK? Please? OK? I can't do this if you don't/ Please! Do this for me! Plese?!
Denny: OK. OK, I'll do it.

[on one of the open walkways in the hospital, after talking with Kendra's parents]
Derek: [pulling Addison from the hospital room] They just lost their daughter.
Addison: I know. That was my point, Derek. They need to face that. She's not coming back.
Derek: A little sensitivity'd be nice here, okay? [pause] They love their daughter. They don't want to let go. Alright?
Addison: What they're doing is not about love, Derek! Well, it's like you.
Derek: Excuse me.
Addison: Yeah, how you pretend to love me, but really you're just using me to fill some need you have to be a good guy.
Derek: Now's not the time to talk about this. We'll talk about this later.
Addison: Oh what, you walk away, that's all I get?
Derek: Just calm down, please.
Addison: What, what, you're not going to yell at me, call me names, or, I don't know, ignore me in an elevator?
Derek: What do you want from me, Addison?
Addison: I want you to care. I sleep with your best friend, and you walk away. He comes out here from New York and rubs it in your face, and still you get a good night's sleep. What do I have to do? Oh, I know. Maybe what I should do is go out on a date with the vet because that seems to be something that sends you into a blind rage. Oh but wait, that won't work either because I'm not Meredith Grey.
[Derek stares at Addison before shifting his eyes slightly to the railing of the walkway they are standing on, prompting Addison to look down at everyone below (including Meredith, Christina and the Chief) staring up at them. Derek turns and walks away. Christina looks at Meredith then turns around, Meredith looks away and the Chief looks at Meredith before turning away, a little irritated. Addison continues to look down in dismay.]

Addison: I know what you're going to say Richard, but if you knew the day that I had...
Chief: Everybody in this hospital has those days Addison, and no one makes a scene in front of their peers. Get it together. [Long Pause] Addison.
Addison: I can't compete. He's not having an affair. He's not trying to hurt me. He's just... [sighs]. The only people who don't know that Derek loves Meredith are Derek and Meredith. How do I compete with that?

Izzie: I told a lie. [pause] To Dr. Burke.
Cristina: Good for you, fight the power.

Denny: (to Izzie) a kiss is worth a thousand words

Meredith (v/o): So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really, you give into a sin like envy or pride and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and one or two others. But anger, anger is the worst... the mother of all sins... Not only can anger drive you over the edge, when it does you can take an awful lot of people with you.

2.26/27 Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response/Losing My Religion

[voiceover]
Meredith: Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive.
George: Family . . .
Cristina: Love . . .
Izzie: Sex.
Derek: But we only need one thing . . .
Chief: To actually be alive.
Cristina: We need a beating heart.
Addison: When our heart is threatened . . .
Alex: we respond in one of two ways.
George: We either run or . . .
Izzie: we attack.
Chief: There's a scientific term for this:
Alex: Fight . . .
Addison: or flight.
Bailey: It's instinct . . .
Meredith: We can't control it.
Izzie: Or can we?

Izzie: You press that code button and I will HURT you. Not a lot, because we're friends. But enough so things will break and you lie on the floor out of my way.
George: Izzie.
Izzie: You have a decision to make, you can stay here and help me with this or you can leave, what's it gonna be George?

Cristina: [after Cristina realizes the guy's the one who shot Burke] That guy shot you. [to the nurse] Move.
Nurse: He's a lost cause.
Cristina: Move.
Nurse: He's circling the drain.
Cristina: You shouldn't get to kill yourself, you do not get off that easily. [to the nurse] Push hard dose of epi.
Nurse: Dr. Yang.
Cristina: What? I want to be able to tell his family I did everything I could to save his pathetic, miserable life. Give him three of epi. Now.

Burke: I need . . . you to . . . to check on Denny Duquette.
Cristina: Ok. That was my best supportive girlfriend and you kinda ruined it with medicine.

Izzie: Burke's not coming.
Meredith: Cristina are you ok?
Cristina: I'm fine.
Izzie: Burke's not coming.
George: Why didn't I take the internship in San Diego? None of this would be happening if I was in San Diego.
Izzie: Burke's not coming.
Cristina: No Izzie, Burke is not coming. I know you're having problems here, what with your murder charges and your unbelievebly stupid idea about stealing a heart but Burke's kinda busy right now.

Cristina: I'm not involved.
Izzie: What if this was Burke? What if you were me?
Cristina: This is bad. This is bad and serious and against a lot of rules. It's not fun for me.
Izzie: What if you were me?
Cristina: Well I wouldn't have fallen in love with a patient.
Izzie: You fell in love with an attending.
Cristina: Well so did Mere, what's the point?
Meredith: The point is we can't help who we fall in love with.
George: Yeah.
Izzie: Yeah.

Meredith: Alex, do this, for Izzie.
Alex: I'm not guaranteeing anything.

Adele: If you don't want to bend your precious rules for Camille, fine. Don't do it for her; do it for me. Do it for your wife who never asks you for anything, who says nothing about your long hours, who looks the other way while you have an affair with another woman, who sobered you up when that woman left you, who stayed with you when everyone, everyone said I'd be better off alone. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. You're going to make this up to Camille. You're going to prioritize the needs of your family above the needs of your other patients or [pause] you're going to find a new place to sleep.

Chief: There's never a good place to hide in this hospital.

Chief: You don't know how much I wish this was bourbon.

Bailey: Anything I can get for you, Dr. Burke?
Burke: No, I'm fine.
Bailey: There, there must be something.
Burke: It would be nice to have some ice chips. And, uh, a touch of morphine if I'm allowed. And, uh, [pause] Cristina.
Bailey: Coming right up. [She starts to walk out of the room] Where is Cristina? Where are, where are all the little suck-ups?
Burke: Excuse me?
Bailey: My interns. My ass-kissing, surgery-hungry, competitive suck-ups. Where are they? Why aren’t they here fetching you ice chips and morphine? Why aren't they here sucking up? [pause] You know something.
Burke: I'm a patient.
Bailey: Preston Xavier Burke, what have you done with my suck-ups?!

Bailey: You fools better have a good explanation for this.

Bailey: You three, outside. NOW! [pause] Where was rational thought? Where was cognitive thinking? We're supposed to do no harm. The morals, the ethics, where was sanity when you three decided to help that girl?
Meredith: We . . .
Bailey: No, no, no. No speaking. Nobody speaks. I do not want to have to testify against you in a court of law.

Bailey: How you feeling Denny?
Denny: Really really good. Like an athlete or a superhero or some other really really healthy person.
Izzie: You're funny. You're a funny guy.

Alex: We should be hearing from Dr. Burke any minute.
Dr. Hahn: That's what you said half an hour ago. Well, whether or not we hear from him, when we hit that hour mark, I'm going in to get my heart.

George: Bailey's treating us like children, we're not children! We shouldn't have to sit out here like we're in time-out or something.
Meredith: What we did is way in need of a time-out.
Cristina: You realize we could get kicked out of the program for this?
Izzie: Not we, I did this. I did this. You're probably right, maybe I should run. But I'd rather be running towards someone than running away.
Chief: [walking up to the group] Yang, Shep's asking for you.
Christina: Uh, for Burke's surgery?
Chief: Yes, hurry up.
Christina: Uh, I can't, I'm in a time-out.
Chief: Time-out's over, Yang we need you. [they walk off]
Izzie: He said marry me, right? He did? That really happened?
George: Really happened.
Meredith: It really did.
Izzie: [gets this look on her face] Screw this, I'm checking on Denny. [gets up and leaves]

Meredith: Thank you for calling me about Izzie.
George: I didn't do you any favors.
Meredith: But it meant something, that you called. It meant something to me.
George: It didn't mean anything.
Meredith: Right, ok, sorry.
George: STOP SAYING THAT YOU'RE SORRY! [pause] You wanna know something? I knew. I knew you didn't feel that way about me, even during, when we were in bed I knew. I knew and I still let it happen, because, um, well, I figured that one night with you was better than never. So, will you just stop saying that you're sorry? 'Cause you didn't know any better, but I did. And . . . I'm sorry. [turns to look at her] I'm sorry Meredith.

Izzie: I cut the LVAD wire.
Meredith: Actually, I cut the LVAD wire.
George: No, I did. I'm the one who cut the wire. [pause] [elbows Cristina]
Cristina: Fine, I cut the LVAD wire.
Alex: I didn't do anything, I'm totally innocent..
Christina, George, Meredith, Izzie: [all at once] Alex. - That’s not the point. - What about loyalty?
Chief: PEOPLE! I know who did this, so you might as well come clean. I know!
George: With all due respect sir, if you knew you wouldn't be asking us.
Izzie: I did it.
Meredith: You have your suspicions, but you don't actually know.
Cristina: Not for sure.
George: And you can't do anything to any of us without proof, sir.
Chief: Well, one of you compromised a patient's life. One of you stole an organ. One of you jeopardized the integrity of this hospital and of UNOS. Now you tell me and you tell me right now. [silence] Alright, fine. [they start to leave] No surgeries.
Cristina: Sir?
Chief: No one scrubs in, no one watches from the galleries, no one so much as goes near the OR floor. Until someone confesses, you will share a single patient: Camille Travis. Whatever she wants, the five of you will provide it. Get the hell out of my sight.

Cristina: Hey! We stick together, we all did this. Nobody's a victim. We stick together. [surprised looks from everyone] Dammit.
Izzie: Thank you.
Cristina: You're welcome.

High School Girl: We need a theme.
George: Theme . . .
Other High School Girl: Ooh ooh ohh. Can we have sparkly lights? Cause sparkly lights are AMAZING!

Cristina: I didn't like teenage girls when I was a teenage girl.
Meredith: I wore a lot of black.
Cristina: Oooo.
Meredith: Had the whole angry pink hair thing going on. Wouldn't have been caught dead at a prom.
Cristina: My mother made me go. My date barfed on my dress and then tried to feel me up.

Denny: What? You like your men sick and feeble? You don't dig healthy guys?
Izzie: I dig you.
Denny: Then why are you all swirly and twitchy?
Izzie: No I'm not.
Denny: It's 'cause I asked you to marry me.
Izzie: So you remember that?
Denny: Its not the kind of thing I'd forget.
Izzie: Yeah. Denny, um, I'm giving you an out.
Denny: Excuse me?
Izzie: Well, I'm giving you an out. You thought you were dying and I was saving your life and well, you know, it was so [gasp]. We can't get married. I mean that would be insane. We should date, and have sex. Plenty of sex. You know when your heart gets better and you're out of the hospital, all the sex you can handle. But marriage is, um, marriage.
Denny: Ok, it's my turn now.
Izzie: But I need to . . .
Denny: No, no. We're taking turns. I've decided. It's polite and it keeps me from yelling. When it's your turn again, you can talk. [pause] For five years, I've had to live by the choices of my doctors. The guys that cut me open decided my life, there wasn't one choice that was mine. And now, I have this heart that beats and works. I get to be like everybody else, I get to make my own decisions, have my own life, do whatever the damned hell I choose. Now here's the good part, so you listen close, what I choose, is you. You're who I want to wake up with and go to bed with and do everything in between with. I get a choice now. I get to choose. I choose you, Izzy Stevens. Ok, it's your turn again.

Alex: [groaning noises]
George: Are you having a seizure?
Alex: Will that get me out of here? Fine, let's go with seizure. For the love of God, you people need to get a life.
George: Chief's niece. Chief's niece.
High School Girl: Its OK, the hot ones are always mean, it's like a rule or something.

George: [to Bailey out in the hall] Not to bother you, but . . .
Bailey: What? alright, one of you better spit out the problem right now.
Alex: The problem is the colors and the balloons and the Under the Sea. No it's Titanic. Hey, let's go with Tears in Heaven. No, that’s too morbid. It should be pink. It should be red. It should be a freaking rainbow.
George: What he's saying is that we're very very hopeful that you speak teenage girl.
Bailey: [back in the room with the high school girls] Silver and white. It's mystical and magical without being over the top. Ever seen Fashion Week in New York? Lots of silver and white runways and backdrops. That’s because no matter what color the clothes are, they pop.
High School Girls: They pop?
Bailey: They pop! O'Malley and Karev, get 500 balloons in silver and white. 100 in black, shiny black not the matte. Yang, stick with Camilla, keep her happy, keep her spirits up. Gray, get with Patricia, make sure we can rope off the second floor nurses' station and the waiting room. [they're all looking at her, in shock] Oh, no no, you don't get to look at me like that. No, you compromised my medical license, you nearly killed a patient, lied to the chief of surgery, and made me, your resident, look bad, we're gonna do this prom and we're doing it right!

Meredith: It’s a long story, which essentially ends with me inviting you to a prom.
Finn: An actual prom? Corsages and tuxedos?
Meredith: Yeah, it's stupid, I know.
Finn: No, I'm in. I loved prom. I mean I, I don't wanna brag or anything, but I was crowned king.
Meredith: Really? You were "that kid" in high school?
Finn: What is wrong with being "that kid?"
Meredith: Nothing, it's very cute actually.
Finn: Hello! [kisses her on the cheek]
Meredith: Hi!

Alex: [one on one meeting with the Chief] I went to college on a wrestling scholarship. I played baseball, some basketball. But we'll go with football.
Chief: What the hell does football have to do with who cut the LVAD wires?
Alex: Let's say you were drafted to a team that wasn’t your first pick. You know, you don't like the players. You hate the way they play the game. You even think the quarterback is full of crap. The quarterback's a pain in the ass you don't owe a damned thing to. But, it's your team. You don't quit. You don't talk to the press. You don't bitch to the coach. You just, you just go out there every Sunday and you make the blocks and you take the hits and you, you play to win. You show up and you suit up and you play, because it's your freaking team.

Chief: [one on one meeting with Cristina] I know your type. You're a surgical junkie.
Cristina: Yessir?
Chief: I'm just saying, it's not going to be easy for you to be away from the OR that long.
Cristina: No sir.
Chief: And if you want to get back to the OR, you're going to tell me what I need to know, aren't you?
Cristina: You're right, it's not easy for me to be away from the OR. And it's not easy for me to sit in front of you, or any other authority figure, for that matter, and not be able to give you the exact answer that you want to hear. I'm the one with the answers. I've always been the one with the answers. But right now, sir, I don't have any.
Chief: Dr. Yang.
Cristina: How do you keep your edge sir? Because I've watched you and you've been doing this a long time, and you're clean...you're focused, you are the job, nothing gets to you. And the thing is, sir, I was like that...until I got here, until I actually started doing this job and now everything is--is fuzzy and . . .
Chief: That’s beside the point.
Cristina: No, see, sir, this is the point. Because I can't tell you, I can't tell you what happened in that room. And before I could have; no guilt, no loyalties, no problem. Before--before I wouldn't have even been in that room. I wouldn't have gotten involved. I would have never frozen in surgery, and I would have told him what I thought he should do. I had an edge, sir. I had an edge, and I've lost it, and I need it. I need it back. So, if you could just tell me, how you keep yours and how not to be affected, I know I could be a great surgeon. So if you could just give me the answers, I would really appreciate it.
Chief: You're excused Dr. Yang.
Cristina: But--
Chief: You're excused.
Christina: I'll tell you, I'll tell you who cut the LVAD wires if you'll please--
Chief: No you won't, I don't wanna know. Not from you. Yea, I have the answers, but I can't tell them to you. I'm not going to be responsible for you becoming less human.

Izzie: [one on one meeting with the Chief] I'm a pretty girl.
Chief: What?
Izzie: I'm not being arrogant, its just, its just kind of a fact. For a long time I made a career from my looks, so I get it, I'm a pretty girl. And not in a "from a certain angle" way, in an obvious way. It’s the blonde thing and the big boobs thing, big boobs are a key to obvious pretty if you know what I'm saying.
Chief: Dr. Stevens.
Izzie: Its how men see me. I'm not a smart girl or an interesting girl, I'm a pretty girl. The blonde and the boobs it confuses guys into thinking that I'm someone else. And I'm used to it. And I'm used to them walking away when they realize… But then Denny goes and asks me to marry him.
Chief: Is that why you cut the wires?
Izzie: He doesn't make me feel like I'm a pretty girl. He makes me feel like… like me. I think he might know me. And so, if I did cut the LVAD wire, and I'm not saying that I did, but if I did, then no, I don't feel guilty. And I know that I should. And I would if it were anybody elses. But I can't feel anything but happy.

George: [one on one meeting with the Chief] Aren't you gonna say anything or [pause] I'm not gonna break [pause] I'm starting to get a little freaked out, but I'm not gonna break. Its not because I don't care, because I do care what you think about me, I do. Care. I just can't tell you want you wanna hear. Which seems to be a theme in my life right now. Just because you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to, you can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them and not love them. And you can love somebody and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone to want them. Now that's frustrating, when what your brain tells you you want and what you actually want don't match up. Its exhausting. And, well, its complicated. But that's life. And life... sucks.

Chief: [one on one meeting with Meredith] [as Meredith is staring off] I've known you for a long time. And I know your mother and father. And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you did not cut those LVAD wires. Meredith, I need you to tell me who did it.
Meredith: I've been going over this and over this in my mind trying to piece this together. It was you, you're the reason my parents broke up. And it wasn't just an affair, she really loved you. It wasn't just this cheap thing where she didn’t tell you she was married. It wasn't all a lie. She left her husband for you. But you stayed with your wife, because it was the right thing to do. Maybe safe, but she was the right person for you to be with. Lets face it, my mother, nothing wrong with being safe, being with the good guy because hes good and we are talking about forever here. You've never regretted your decision. You've never looked back... Right?

Chief: Can I cut in?
Chief's Niece: What did you say to my boyfriend to make him that scared of you?
Chief: I'm a frightening man Cami.
Chief's Niece: No you're not.
Chief: Where Brians concerned, I am.
Chief's Niece: Be kind to him. He loves me. I've been loved. And that’s something everyone should have once in their life. I've been loved. Thank you for the prom Uncle Richard.
Chief: You're welcome.

Izzy: Denny!
Bailey: What did I tell you, visiting hours aren't for another hour, you are no longer his doctor, you want to see Denny, you come back when the visitors come.
Izzy: I would but I can't wait.
Denny: Ixnay on the insubordinationay...
Izzy: But it's my turn.
Bailey: Come on, if the chief finds out you were even on this floor...
Denny: Hold on.. it's her turn.
Izzy: Yes. My answer is yes.
Denny: Now see, you're gonna make my heart stop beating and it's brand new.
Bailey: (to Izzy): I will call security on you.
Izzy: OK, I will come back during visiting hours. And it's prom, so I'll show you my dress.
Denny: OK.
Bailey: *glares*
Izzy: I'm going!
Denny: Izzy? You did good.
Denny: (To Bailey) I tricked her into marrying me. How smart am I?

George: Hey I was looking for you, where are you going?
Callie: I'm wearing a dress, I have on heels, I shaved my legs - I'm going to the prom.
George: You said you didn't wanna go.
Callie: No, I said I didn’t wanna go with you.
George: CALLIE!
Callie: I said I love you. I said it. I said it outloud, to your face. And ever since.. I've never said that to a guy before, never. And now I'm just this idiot that says I love you and gets avoided.
George: No, I'm not avoiding you. I promise.
Callie: You gonna say it back.
George: No.
Callie: I'm humilitated. No, George, let me go. Let me go, let me go.
George: Stop fighting me. If I say it back right now, you know I'm just saying it cause you said it to me. When I, when I say I love you, I wanna mean it, because… You just hafta give me some time to mean it.
Callie: I hate that I'm so into you.

[To Derek about the prom.]
Addison: This whole thing brings back very traumatic memories of being a band geek, with braces, and a lisp; spending the whole evening with 'Skippy Gold' talking about Star Wars. So, do you want to dance?

[At the prom.]
Finn: You're a lot hotter than my last prom date.
Meredith: Is that a compliment?
Finn: Maybe.
Meredith: It feels like a compliment.
Finn: Then it is.
Meredith: Well keep it up and you might get lucky.
Finn: Well, now how lucky are we talking about here? Are we talking kinda lucky or are we talking really, seriously lucky?
Meredith: You have been a very patient man and I appreciate it. [he makes a face] What?
Finn: Liz, Liz was my wife. When she died… you do this thing where you stop making plans. Because you had plans but then there was a car crash and your plans disappeared so you just, I just try to get from sunup to sundown. That’s as far into the future as I can handle. And I've been fine with that, I have. But right now, looking at you, damn, I have all kinds of plans. Don't, don't freak out.
Meredith: I'm not.
Finn: You're not?
Meredith: No. You have plans.
Finn: I have plans.
[hugs him and keeps dancing with her head on his shoulder. Sees Derek staring at her]
Finn: You alright?
Meredith: Yeah, I'm just hot, and ah, claustrophobic.
Derek: [To Addison] You know what? There's a patient I forgot to check on.
Meredith: You know, I'm just gonna run and splash some cold water on my face.
Derek: I'll be right back, okay?
Meredith: I'll be right back, okay?
[Meredith running down a hall in the hospital.]
Derek: Meredith.
Meredith: Leave me alone.
Derek: Meredith.
[Meredith and Derek in a hospital room.]
Meredith: Just leave me alone.
Derek: I just want to make sure you're alright.
Meredith: No! I'm not alright? Okay? Are you satisfied? I'm not alright. Because you have a wife, and you call me a whore, and our dog died, and now you're looking at me again. Stop looking at me.
Derek: I am not looking at you. I am not looking at you.
Meredith: You are looking at me. And you watch me. And Finn has plans. And I like Finn. He's perfect for me, and I'm really trying here to be happy, and I feel like I can't breathe. I can't breathe with you looking at me like that so just stop!
Derek: You think I want to look at you? That I wouldn't rather be looking at my wife? I'm married. I have responsibilities. She, she doesn't drive me crazy. She doesn't make it impossible for me to feel normal. She doesn't make me sick to my stomach thinking about my veternarian touching her with his hands. Man, I would give anything to not be looking at you.
[Long pause. Meredith turns around and looks at Derek. Derek grabs Meredith's head and kisses her. And then they have sex.]

Alex: Oh, you look nice.
Izzie: Thanks, so do you. Hot date?
Alex: Nah, this thing is cheesy, I wouldn't waste a decent chick on this. You headed in?
Izzie: Yeah, I'm just gonna go see Denny first.
Alex: Oh, OK.

Derek: What does this mean?
Meredith: Uh, I had panties on, black. Do you see them?
Derek: What does this mean?
Meredith: And fix your tie.
Derek: Meredith, what does this mean?
Callie: [opening the door] Oh, the nurse told me to come find you. You have to come now, it's Izzie. Wait, wait. [stops Meredith and ties the back of her dress] [gives Derek a mean look]

George: What happened?
Olivia: I didn't know what to do, I didn't think you guys would want me to go to the chief, but…
Christina: Where is she?
Olivia: She's in there. [walk in to see Izzie lying in bed with Denny]
Christina: Izzie.
Izzie: I think it was a stroke. He was prone to blood clots. A clot could have formed on his sutures and traveled to his brain, it only takes a second.
Meredith: Izz…
Izzie: Dr. Hahn did a beautiful job on the surgery. But I don't know why I didn't think of blood clots. He died all alone. He was alone.
George: There's nothing you could have done.
Izzie: I changed my dress three times. I wanted to look nice. I would have been here sooner. But I couldn't figure out which dress to wear.
George: Izzie, we shouldn't be in here.
Meredith: Izz, there are things that they need, they need to move him.
Izzie: Take him to the morgue.
Cristina: You can't stay here, I know you want to,
Izzie: Can you please, please, just get out? I want to be alone with Denny.
Alex: Izzie, that’s not Denny.
Izzie: Shut up.
Alex: Izz, its not Denny. The minute his heart stopped beating he stopped being Denny. Now I know you love him, but he also loved you. And a guy that loves you like that, he doesn't want you to do this to yourself. Because it's not Denny, not anymore.
Izzie: An hour ago he was proposing. And now . . . and now he's going to the morgue. Isn't that ridiculous? Isn't it the most ridiculous piece of crap you've ever heard? [starts sobbing]
[Alex picks her up, cradling her, and sits down on a chair holding and rocking her while she sobs]

[Addison and Finn looking at prom pictures in the hallway.]
Addison: [to Finn, laughing] I'm sorry, these are ridiculous.
[Derek comes out of the elevator, fixing his tie.]
Addison: [to Derek] Hey.
Derek: [to Addison] Hi.
Addison: [to Derek] Where have you been?
Derek: [to Addison] Oh, I was with . . .
Chief: [to Derek] Shepherd.
Derek: [to Chief] Yes, sir.
Chief: [to Derek] Have you seen Bailey's interns, Grey, Yang? I'm looking for Izzie Stevens in particular.
Derek: [to Chief, shaking his head] No, no.
Bailey: Chief.
[Izzie, George, Alex, and Meredith come walking down the hallway. When Meredith walks by, Derek turns around and doesn't look at her. Addison looks at Derek, and knows something is up.]

Izzie: [to the Chief] It was me. I cut his LVAD wire. I did it, no one helped me. And now… I thought I was a surgeon, but, I can't. I thought I was a surgeon, but I am not, so I quit. [George tries to block her from walking off. She walks around him. He and Alex follow her down the stairs]
Bailey: Izzie!

Addison: I guess that puts an end to the evening.
Derek: Yeah.
Chief: I guess it does.
[Addison and the Chief walk off, leaving Finn, Derek, and Meredith in the hallway.]
Finn: [to Meredith] I'll drive you home.
[Finn walks away. Meredith turns and looks at Derek. Derek turns and looks at her. Derek looks at Finn as he is walking away. Finn turns around and looks back at Meredith. Finn looks at Derek. Derek looks back at Finn, then back to Meredith.]
Derek: [to Meredith] Meredith.
[Meredith and Derek look at each other. Finn realizes what is going on.]
Finn: [to Meredith] Meredith.
[Meredith looks at Finn. Finn and Derek look at each other. They both look back to Meredith. The show ends, waiting for Meredith to make a decision.]

*Per queste quotes si ringrazia Monica*
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